Re: How does this work?

[Guest guest]

Hi Gwen,

Thanks for getting back to me. I had two back surgeries (ruptured

disc at L5-S1). The first surgery was somewhat successful and I felt

like I could get back to work and resume my life.

Within a week of letting my doctor know I was ready to go back to work, I was

rearended - blew out the disc again. That resulted in a 2nd surgery December

'96. That surgery created scar tissue encompassing the nerve route to my right

leg.

So have lower back pain, transference pain, pain in other areas due to

compensating for nerve damage in my right leg, constant (24 hour a day) spasming

in my right leg calf. So really it isn't the injury that caused the

irrepairable damage. It was the 2nd surgery.

I didn't return to work since 1993 until

recently, and it's just about killing me, trying to create a new life

for myself, learn to work (as a realtor), trying to figure out how

much I can and cannot do. I tried to go back to work twice in the

past 12 years and couldn't go back to what I used to do - sitting for

hours at a time in an office just wasn't working for me. To say this

has been a struggle would be an understatement.

A year ago my 14 year relationship ended, my son just turned 17, I'm trying to

become financially self-sufficient (while working in a profession that I can

control my hours, surroundings, etc.). I've been on disability for years and am

trying to get off it. The past couple of weeks have been more difficult than

usual.

As you probably have already experienced. I'm going through an extremely

difficult pain cycle right now. I think the weather makes a big difference.

Anyway, I was having suicidal thoughts (again), and my friend jumped into

action. She asked me to make a pact with her that I don't hurt myself, join

this group, get ahold of my old therapist. We may also investigate joining a

pilates class together next week. She has back pain occasionally, but nothing

like chronic pain sufferers.

So that's my story in a nutshell - logged on today because I'm in so much pain I

feel like I can't stand it, keep holding back the tears and just wanted to reach

out. Thanks a lot for your response.

Caitlin also responded to me. It helps to know there are people out there that

understand. What's your story? Hope you're having a good day. Debbie

Gwen wrote:

>

> You are doing just what we do. Type and wait for someone to talk

back. Just share your struggles, your good times and anything you

want to talk about.