Re: Re: ...Eats, Shoots, and Leaves....

[Guest guest]

This may have also been mentioned (this has been a long and winding thread!), but along the lines of what Helena just said, you shouldn't necessarily avoid seeing a therapist whom you will find attractive.  In fact, although it can feel awkward to discuss, this can bring up a lot of really good therapeutic material to work on re: what comes up for you when you have those feelings, etc.  Hopefully the therapist will be able to deal with this in a helpful way, and it isn't at all unusual to have these feelings, even if at first you didn't find the therapist attractive.  I don't know specifically re: ACT therapy, but I don't see why that would be different.  You could be present and notice your feelings, even discuss your feelings, and realize that you don't have to act on them.  Just sit on your hands as would say -- actually, that sounds kind of wrong in this context 

Barbara

 

And I have some gay friends, male and female, who prefer to see someone of their own gender who is also gay.  Earlier in this thread, the suggestion was made that, if becoming romantically attrated to your therapist is something you think could happen, you might be able to avoid that by seeing a same sex therapist or, if gay, the opposite sex.  It wasn't stated that you necessarily should.  It's always a personal choice.  I relate better to a female therapist, personally, but the greatest and most helpful therapist I ever had was an incredibly handsome and sexy man that I drooled over in my dreams, but I was able to keep my feelings in check while awake.

 

Helena

Re: ...Eats, Shoots, and Leaves....

 

,I'm a gay man, and I feel I've done more useful work with male therapists (psychodynamic and CBT) than with women (CBT and person-centered). And I haven't felt any sexual attraction to any of them. All that may be sampling error, but I'm just saying. People are complicated.

bb> >> > ding ding ding ding ding !!! I get it now. I read both examples too

> > quickly and without enough thought.> >> > Language is very tricky indeed. It's not surprising that we misunderstand> > each other sometimes. Although not important in the grand scheme of things,

> > this exchange is helpful in that it reminds me to be patient and non> > judgmental when reading other people's posts.> >> > Thanks!> > Helena> >> >

> > > >>

-- Barbara White, MFTMarriage and Family Therapistbarbarawhitetherapy.com