Re: afraid of love

[Guest guest]

Hi Becky,

I read your post and found it ver moving. Lots of things you said struck a chord

with me. I too come from an abusive background and was really quite reluctant

when I first met my parnter.

'I was going to run away, and go work in bars in Italy when I first met Jon.

And since we've been together, I have tried to push him away a number of times,

so it's been tough on us both. Thankfully I am less like it now, and it's

probably a credit to his aspiness that he had the loyalty to stick around!'

**I too have felt like running away at times especially when things seem very

overwhelming in terms of the aspergers. We have had a number of

misunderstandings but on the flip side of that there are good qualities too as

you said I think its his honesty and loyalty to me that have kept us together

this long. How did you work at improving those feelings?

I realise there is a big impact on your self esteem after abuse but day to day I

feel and seem fine its just when a misunderstanding occurs or I feel Im not

being emotional supported that I tend to withdraw and want to get the hell out.

Me and my partner do talk and I have made suggestions to him about what he could

do to help and vice versa him to me but we still find it tough some times.

Its really nice to see a story where you have been together and although you are

not denying the fact it is hard at times, it has also worked sometimes. Do you

have children?

> >

> >

> >

> > Greetings all

> >

> > I have a question for all of you....wondering if anyone else has experienced

this or if I am the only one.

> >

> > I'm in my late 50's, diagnosed with AS a few years back. I lost my husband

of thirty years about 6 years ago. It was never a good marriage, sometimes

downright hellish. I never managed to leave him, although I tried a number of

times over the years.

> >

> > Fast forward to the present. I am deeply in love with a wonderful man. He

accepts and understands my aspie-ness, helps me deal with sensory stress,

explains the NT world to me, defends, protects, and comforts me....I think he

has enough AS traits to see the world from my point of view and enough NT to

help me navigate it.

> >

> > He tells me he loves, he tells me I am pretty, and sweet, and smart - I am

even beginning to believe him. So what is the problem? I am scared by the

very intensity of our feelings. Sometimes I just want to run away and not want

to deal with it anymore. I want him, I need him, I trust him....and sometimes I

feel as if I am riding a bike very fast down a steep hill - it's exciting, but

terrifying, to be so out of control.

> >

> > Am I just crazy, or do others find it frightening to deal with good emotions

and good relationships?

> >

> > Andromeda

> >

>