A Funny/ I'm still laughing

May 28, 2006

This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida... " Not verified by me " .

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, " I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car! "

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...For the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat...A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable.

May 28, 2006

.... you know, that SAME old lady had a run in years ago with The Lone

Ranger and Tonto. Miss Kitty was her name and, she met the two of

them when they stopped for a beer in her saloon YEARS and YEARS ago.

Hey, I mean, being a masked man and a faithful Indian companion

doesn't mean your not human and wanting a mug of suds right? Anyhoo

.... they had just spent their last dime (nickle beers ... how times

DO change) and noticed both Silver and Scout couldn't drink out of

the trough as it was not only empty but, there was a hole in it. They

asked the barkeep for a bucket of water and, he said it was a dollar,

with fifty-cents included as deposit on the bucket. Wanting to take

care of their horses but, not knowing what to do, the Lone Ranger had

an idea and, said to Tonto, " You know Indians are noted for their

fast running and endurance. Perhaps if you ran AROUND the horses a

few times, the hurricane-like wind, small as it is, should help cool

off Scout and Silver until we get to my silver mine and, your tribal

residual check arrives. " Tonto agreed and began running. It was then

that Miss Kitty, came out of the back room where the faro game was in

full swing and, was called over to the bar by the barkeep who

introduced her to That Masked Man. After exchanging greetings, Miss

Kitty asked if those were his horses outside, to wit The Lone Ranger

replied " Yes, they are. "

" Well, " said Miss Kitty, " You left your Injun running .... "

(Gotcha ... heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!!!!!)

Pfunny Phred

---- Original Message ----

From: pac1773@...

To: Breathe-Support

Subject: RE: A Funny/ I'm still laughing

Date: Sun, 28 May 2006 15:11:16 -0400

>This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota,

>Florida...

> " Not verified by me " .

>

>An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her

>car,

>found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped

>her

>shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top

>of her

>voice, " I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car! "

>

>The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and

>ran like

>mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping

>bags

>into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

>

>She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

>She

>tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...For the same reason

>she did

>not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12 packs

>in the

>front seat...A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four

>or five

>spaces farther down.

>

>She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to

>report

>her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop

>laughing.

>He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were

>reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white,

>less

>than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair and carrying a large

>handgun.

>

>No charges were filed.

>

>MORAL OF THE STORY:

>

>If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable.

>

May 28, 2006

cute Fred I'll be passin that along

phredta11bl@... 09/04 ipf