Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Jan, I am sorry. And, I know you are tired. This is what I was concerned about, is my husband swinging, and hurting me. The doctor said, " well he isn't doing it on purpose it is the disease. " I know that. But, I still don't want to get hurt. That is when my LO goes to a NH, too. Imogene In a message dated 5/4/2006 12:32:59 AM Central Daylight Time, janetcolello@... writes: Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I needed to change him and the bedding. He was very combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at me. I could get no where near him or the bed to change them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I called the paramedics to come and take him to the ER. When he checked into the ER he was hitting and swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and tie it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to swing. I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the message, it's written all over the charts not to give him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for them to get the word on that. When I returned back to the hospital after checking out all the nh around 4PM, two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a change and released the straps holding his arms down and right away he is swinging and hitting at them again, so they had to bring in others to strap him down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the restraints. Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and she gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM I visited everyone of those facilities, because my number one pick that I chose from last year had no rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I found one that seems nice and does have a semi private room, so Jim is going to be transfered there tomorrow and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim has an opening and then transfer him to that one. Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they have to adjust his medications at the hospital and get him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in a nh. I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be in a facility. I can not help him when he is combative. I was going to do all this in the summer, but since the hospital can transfer him and get everything in order, I decided to do it now. I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Dear Jan, I am so sorry to hear about Jim, but I know it is a good thing that you will finally be getting some help. I am praying for you and Jim, and hoping that he settles down. I am hopeful he will settle into his new place, and things will be better for both of you. You will be in my thoughts. Love and hugs, Piper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Oh Jan, My heart goes out to you. You have been there for Jim 24/7 through all these years. You have done the right thing for both of you during this crisis. No one could have done more than you have done. I am sure many tears are being shed, but keep in mind the fact that now someone else can deal with his behaviours while hopefully you get to spend more positive time with him. I wish I could give you a big bear hug in person. -- In LBDcaregivers , Janet Colello wrote: > > Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim > woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of > course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I > needed to change him and the bedding. He was very > combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at > me. I could get no where near him or the bed to change > them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I > called the paramedics to come and take him to the ER. > When he checked into the ER he was hitting and > swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to > restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and tie > it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to swing. > I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead > of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the > message, it's written all over the charts not to give > him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for > them to get the word on that. When I returned back to > the hospital after checking out all the nh around 4PM, > two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a > change and released the straps holding his arms down > and right away he is swinging and hitting at them > again, so they had to bring in others to strap him > down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the > restraints. > Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and she > gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's > from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM I > visited everyone of those facilities, because my > number one pick that I chose from last year had no > rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I > found one that seems nice and does have a semi private > room, so Jim is going to be transfered there tomorrow > and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim > has an opening and then transfer him to that one. > Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, > because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they > have to adjust his medications at the hospital and get > him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in a > nh. > I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous > stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be > in a facility. I can not help him when he is > combative. > I was going to do all this in the summer, but since > the hospital can transfer him and get everything in > order, I decided to do it now. > I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Hi Jan I am glad that you are finally going to get help with Jim. I know you did a great job with him at home this long. This will be a new part of the journey to adapt to. Get some much needed rest. Now you can be the one who gets to have the fun with Jim! , borough, ON cg to MIL > > Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim > woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of > course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I > needed to change him and the bedding. He was very > combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at > me. I could get no where near him or the bed to change > them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I > called the paramedics to come and take him to the ER. > When he checked into the ER he was hitting and > swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to > restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and tie > it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to swing. > I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead > of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the > message, it's written all over the charts not to give > him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for > them to get the word on that. When I returned back to > the hospital after checking out all the nh around 4PM, > two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a > change and released the straps holding his arms down > and right away he is swinging and hitting at them > again, so they had to bring in others to strap him > down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the > restraints. > Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and she > gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's > from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM I > visited everyone of those facilities, because my > number one pick that I chose from last year had no > rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I > found one that seems nice and does have a semi private > room, so Jim is going to be transfered there tomorrow > and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim > has an opening and then transfer him to that one. > Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, > because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they > have to adjust his medications at the hospital and get > him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in a > nh. > I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous > stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be > in a facility. I can not help him when he is > combative. > I was going to do all this in the summer, but since > the hospital can transfer him and get everything in > order, I decided to do it now. > I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Hi Jan... I know how you feeling my husband was taken from the hospital to a nursing home also as he has a bad temper , they make they decided he go to a NH the way he was acting, its been over a year and he still acting up as now he was moved to the retiring side and still wants out , its so hard on all of us , GOD bless all you have done for him , now start taking care of Jan ok love Eileen Canada -- Re: Jim going to nh Hi Jan I am glad that you are finally going to get help with Jim. I know you did a great job with him at home this long. This will be a new part of the journey to adapt to. Get some much needed rest. Now you can be the one who gets to have the fun with Jim! , borough, ON cg to MIL > > Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim > woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of > course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I > needed to change him and the bedding. He was very > combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at > me. I could get no where near him or the bed to change > them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I > called the paramedics to come and take him to the ER. > When he checked into the ER he was hitting and > swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to > restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and tie > it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to swing. > I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead > of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the > message, it's written all over the charts not to give > him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for > them to get the word on that. When I returned back to > the hospital after checking out all the nh around 4PM, > two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a > change and released the straps holding his arms down > and right away he is swinging and hitting at them > again, so they had to bring in others to strap him > down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the > restraints. > Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and she > gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's > from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM I > visited everyone of those facilities, because my > number one pick that I chose from last year had no > rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I > found one that seems nice and does have a semi private > room, so Jim is going to be transfered there tomorrow > and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim > has an opening and then transfer him to that one. > Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, > because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they > have to adjust his medications at the hospital and get > him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in a > nh. > I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous > stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be > in a facility. I can not help him when he is > combative. > I was going to do all this in the summer, but since > the hospital can transfer him and get everything in > order, I decided to do it now. > I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Jan, My heart is breaking for what you're going through right now. I know it is far from easy. I so admire you because you're not afraid to admit that the time has come for your husband to go into a nursing home. You know that you can't do it on your own anymore and that takes a tremendous amount of courage. I wish you strength, peace, and comfort to face whatever lies before you. Please know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of so many of us here. Continue to keep us posted, and always remember...you are not alone. Hugs and best wishes, April > > Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim > woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of > course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I > needed to change him and the bedding. He was very > combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at > me. I could get no where near him or the bed to change > them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I > called the paramedics to come and take him to the ER. > When he checked into the ER he was hitting and > swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to > restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and tie > it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to swing. > I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead > of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the > message, it's written all over the charts not to give > him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for > them to get the word on that. When I returned back to > the hospital after checking out all the nh around 4PM, > two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a > change and released the straps holding his arms down > and right away he is swinging and hitting at them > again, so they had to bring in others to strap him > down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the > restraints. > Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and she > gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's > from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM I > visited everyone of those facilities, because my > number one pick that I chose from last year had no > rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I > found one that seems nice and does have a semi private > room, so Jim is going to be transfered there tomorrow > and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim > has an opening and then transfer him to that one. > Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, > because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they > have to adjust his medications at the hospital and get > him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in a > nh. > I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous > stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be > in a facility. I can not help him when he is > combative. > I was going to do all this in the summer, but since > the hospital can transfer him and get everything in > order, I decided to do it now. > I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Hi Jan, I'm really feeling it for you. You have been such a wonderful wife to Jim and you should take great pride and comfort in that. You have done your share and then some. In time, I hope that you and Jim will adjust to the new living arrangement. We too had mom in our second pick for a NH for over a year and then we finally got a spot at our number one pick. It was worth the wait but by this time mom was too far advanced to really take in her new surroundings. There is nothing wrong with seeking help for our loved ones. Once a relationship is established with the staff and if this is a good NH you will feel less anxious about Jim being there and perhaps even get some time for yourself. Sending you strength and a huge hug. Courage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Jan, Even though you knew this was going to happen one can not be prepared for this. It is truely the beginning of the end. You will not be free until Jim is free. There is always guilt even though you cannot feel guilty as you have done a great job alone. Even though I had great help and support from my four children I do not think I could have dealt with such a long time of ones constantly needing watching the decline of one you love. The hardest part is trying to remember the good times ......that will come. I am just now having dreams of many of the good times and funny things we did in 52 years. Now begin to think of what you will have to do in the future. Hang in there!!! Simmel > >Reply-To: LBDcaregivers >To: " LBDcaregivers " <LBDcaregivers > >Subject: Jim going to nh >Date: Wed, 3 May 2006 22:31:11 -0700 (PDT) > >Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim >woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of >course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I >needed to change him and the bedding. He was very >combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at >me. I could get no where near him or the bed to change >them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I >called the paramedics to come and take him to the ER. >When he checked into the ER he was hitting and >swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to >restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and tie >it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to swing. >I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead >of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the >message, it's written all over the charts not to give >him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for >them to get the word on that. When I returned back to >the hospital after checking out all the nh around 4PM, >two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a >change and released the straps holding his arms down >and right away he is swinging and hitting at them >again, so they had to bring in others to strap him >down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the >restraints. >Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and she >gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's >from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM I >visited everyone of those facilities, because my >number one pick that I chose from last year had no >rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I >found one that seems nice and does have a semi private >room, so Jim is going to be transfered there tomorrow >and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim >has an opening and then transfer him to that one. >Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, >because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they >have to adjust his medications at the hospital and get >him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in a >nh. >I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous >stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be >in a facility. I can not help him when he is >combative. >I was going to do all this in the summer, but since >the hospital can transfer him and get everything in >order, I decided to do it now. >I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan > >__________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Dear Jan I will definitely keep you in my prayers. I know how hard it is to place your loved one in a NH. I just did that with my mom in March. Remember, Jan, you have been the best caregiver anyone could have ever wanted and I know you will continue to do just that as he enters the NH. Your job isn't over. I will be praying that your #1 choice has an opening very soon. It is a gut wrenching experience, but you can do it. Take care, Kiddo. We are all here for you. Dena --- Janet Colello wrote: > Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim > woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of > course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I > needed to change him and the bedding. He was very > combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at > me. I could get no where near him or the bed to > change > them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I > called the paramedics to come and take him to the > ER. > When he checked into the ER he was hitting and > swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to > restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and > tie > it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to > swing. > I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead > of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the > message, it's written all over the charts not to > give > him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for > them to get the word on that. When I returned back > to > the hospital after checking out all the nh around > 4PM, > two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a > change and released the straps holding his arms down > and right away he is swinging and hitting at them > again, so they had to bring in others to strap him > down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the > restraints. > Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and > she > gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's > from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM > I > visited everyone of those facilities, because my > number one pick that I chose from last year had no > rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I > found one that seems nice and does have a semi > private > room, so Jim is going to be transfered there > tomorrow > and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim > has an opening and then transfer him to that one. > Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, > because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they > have to adjust his medications at the hospital and > get > him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in > a > nh. > I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous > stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be > in a facility. I can not help him when he is > combative. > I was going to do all this in the summer, but since > the hospital can transfer him and get everything in > order, I decided to do it now. > I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Janet- I feel so bad for both you and Jim. You did the right thing placing Jim in the NH. I don't think you could go on much longer the way things are now. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Gerry Wilmington, De. Daughter & caregiver of Dick Deverell who passed away 9/11/05 after more than a 4 yr. battle with LBD. Jim going to nh Hi, Early this morning about 4:30AM, Wednesday, Jim woke up soaking wet and removed his clothes. Of course, he had the wet clothes on the sheets and I needed to change him and the bedding. He was very combative hitting and swinging at me and kicking at me. I could get no where near him or the bed to change them. This continued for quite a few minutes, so I called the paramedics to come and take him to the ER. When he checked into the ER he was hitting and swinging at the nurses and it took 4 of them to restrain him. They had to put him in a jacket and tie it to the bed, so his arms wouldn't be able to swing. I told them I was glad to see the restraints instead of the Haldol. And the doctor said, " oh we got the message, it's written all over the charts not to give him Haldol or Ativan. So it has finally worked for them to get the word on that. When I returned back to the hospital after checking out all the nh around 4PM, two nurses thought Jim would like to sit up for a change and released the straps holding his arms down and right away he is swinging and hitting at them again, so they had to bring in others to strap him down again, when I left at 8PM, he was still in the restraints. Since Jim was there I spoke to a social worker and she gave me a list of MediCal nh that have the doctor's from my husband's health provider. From 9:30AM - 4PM I visited everyone of those facilities, because my number one pick that I chose from last year had no rooms available, so I had to pick a back up #2. I found one that seems nice and does have a semi private room, so Jim is going to be transfered there tomorrow and I will keep him there until my #1 choice for Jim has an opening and then transfer him to that one. Thing is they kept Jim over night tonight in ER, because he is combative and no nh wants him, so they have to adjust his medications at the hospital and get him calmed down and possibly tomorrow, he will be in a nh. I am trying to be strong. I have such a nervous stomach about all this, but it is time for Jim to be in a facility. I can not help him when he is combative. I was going to do all this in the summer, but since the hospital can transfer him and get everything in order, I decided to do it now. I will let you know tomorrow what is happening. Jan __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Oh Janet!! My heart just aches for you because I know from the most unbearable experience just what it is like 'waiting' in ER with a flailing, violent, abusive loved one. I am so sorry Lewy struck out at you and Jim in this way. It breaks my heart to read that you have to start that devastating process of deciding to look at residential care options. It is simply the worst thing! I shall be thinking of you both Sending hugs and prayers Sally x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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