Guest guest Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 I saw that many times my wife's behavior hurt me... because, I thought she could have behaved some other way! Because I I thought she had a real choice over how she behaved, thought and acted. I don't fell [emotionally] hurt when a mosquitoes bites me. I know, a mosquitoes can bite me... and, I am not expecting mosquitoes to change. I simply make arrangement for my protection and without needing mosquito to 'change' its behavior. But, when dealing with humans, I assumed that I had real conscious choice and a real awareness of what they were doing. After some observation, I found that it was not really true. I watched myself. I watched my parents. I watched my friends. I watched my siblings. I watched my wife. Very few of them really changed and very few of them had a change that was stable. Most of them just went back to their old self... pretty quickly after some temporary change. I myself didn't change that much in spite of trying few times! I saw that emotional pain would naturally become quite less if I stopped assuming too much conscious choice and 'power to change' on the part of humans. Mosquitoes bite... Flies fly... Butterflies fly... Roses smell... Some people are quarrelsome some are quiet Some are dominating, controlling some are easy-going Some are honest and ruthful Some are liars, cheats and deceitful Some are reliable friends Some are expert cheats Some are ruthless, cruel killers Some are compassionate, kind healers... I may not be able to change mosquitoes. I may not be able to change roses. I may not be able to change myself. I may not be able to change weather. I may not be able to change anybody else. But, I stopped expecting them to change, wanting them to change then, it can stop [emotionally] hurting too! Liars lie... Cheaters cheat... When I know about them, I can take my precautions as I do when I know about mosquitoes. Sometimes I might get bitten, as I get bitten by mosquitoes too. Yet, they are just doing what they are. For mosquitoes, sucking my blood is their food. But, how good it is to blame the mosquito for doing so? Do they have a real choice over 'who they are' and 'how they behave'? Do they really got to chose 'who they are', and 'what they do'? If I had to blame who other than " nature " I can blame? And, how can I blame nature? Am, I out of the nature...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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