A goodbye for a week

[Guest guest]

Dear family and friends

Last night told me that he and his x lover got back together.

Usually, my minds tended to go to places where " it shouldn't " - THE FUTURE:

I used to live in the future, knowing hoping that WE WILL BE TUGHETER.

That was what I experienced with Zigi for 3 years, but now for the first

time in my life

My mind doesn't go there, I am not in the future, I am not in the maybe one

day...

I am 100% in the present and it hurts.

I could have many " reasons " to belive, in my mind (where else?)

To belive that it is not over yet:

Reason 1:

He told me that he is attracted to me, and his minds aproves of our

connections as well:

He KNOWS that if he would be with me, we could be so happy together:

Once he told me that I have everything, he was looking in a women: caring

and loving is just the short list,

(don't get me wrong I do have a sexy body too. Grr!).

Another thing:

I am a fresh start for him, there is a big chance that no one will resist us

and I am sure he knows that everyone around him would aprove of me and

would love me, even his wife, and of course his children that met me (by

the way, the reason children loves me, is that I never try to win them over.

It is ok with me if they will hate me. Children can sense honesty, and it is

a lovable trade).

And his mom, he needs to be blind, not to see that this women is going to

LOVE me, BIG time

Reason 2:

And, the women he is with (S), his minds tells him that she is not the best

chose for him

(aparently she is the best thing for him cause he is with her, but I am

talking about his stories, Dahh)

And they share some " dirty " history not to mention external obstacles that

has to do with his wife, parents and many people around him, who seem to

have an opinion that she is not good for him.

Anyway, my point here is: my mind doesn't go to the future, an in the NOW it

is OVER.

Nothing else exist for me.

So, I feel sad, and I cry when I talk about him, and I feel that it is a

good thing to be sad and I don't want to run away from this experience.

I am writing here, cause I have decided to let myself 1 week time of

greafing, so I am not going to read or write here FOR A WEEK.

So...

If you wondered where your beloved T disappeared, now you know.

And since I am not going to READ posts either (going to change my profile

sets not to get email's to my mail box) if you want to write me, you can,

but only to my mail box, otherwise, I wouldn't see it.

(not even to the responses to this post).

Yours, T