Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 Anyhow ... there is this question I would like to ask. It is concerning love in relationships (of a couple): If the other person is ME - because I am everything, everything is me, God, All, Nothing, ... - then why do human beings fall in love at all? *****When you look across the room and see another person, is there a thought " this person is me " ? In these types of dialogues it may be helpful it one differentiates the levels; there are two: the relative and the Absolute. The understanding that " the other person is ME " is the Absolute perspective. All there is, is thought, or Mind. And within Mind there arises, moment by moment....apparent forms (which are none other than Mind in manifest form). However, on the relative plane of phenomenality, there certainly APPEARS to be other people. And they are whom we fall in love with (whatever " falling in love with " means!). I love you = I love myself ???!!!! Why then do we humans live together as a couple? *****There are many explanations: sociological, psychologocial, anthropological, evolutionary, biological, cultural. You will pick the one (or ones) which suits you best. :-)) Also realize that whenever you ask a " why " question that is not related specifically to a function (e.g., " Why use a wrench rather than a saw for that particular job?), all you will get back is that person's story about what is. I´ve been listening a lot to ´s second book (the audio version) " I need your Love. Is that true? " There it gets perfectly clear that one can only love another person if one loves herself/himself. *****It gets VERY sticky the moment you use the word " love " since no one has a lock on the word's meaning. I like Wayne Austin's (EOTS, End of the Search) take on it: " Love doesn't look like anything. " So, that means that the other person is a mirror to me ... o.k. I get that. But still ... Why is there often so much yearning for being in love with another person *****So much? How much is that? And notice there's yearning for lots of things: power, money, comfort, sex. Perhaps you're focused on one, rather than the whole issue of " Yearning. " And there are LOTS of answers to THAT question! There's the Buddhist, the Christian, the Moslem, the Hindu....each " teaching " has its own answer(s). and why at all be a couple and live together - for decades, sometimes ... ??? *****Probably because neither person got a better offer. :-))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 [...] > But still ... > Why is there often so much yearning for being in love with > another person > and why at all be a couple and live together - for decades, > sometimes ... ??? > I guess I don´t get that at the moment ... > > Would you anyone give me your opinion, > it will be very much appreciated! > > Love, > R > When asked about why planets revolve around Sun... scientists say it is due to the gravity of sun! When asked about why Sun shines... scientists say it is because of the nuclear reactions taking place in the core of sun. When asked about why flowers are bright*... they explain it is to attract butterflies in order to pollinate! .... Scientists explain most things in the universe, simply by matter of *natural laws*! Each and every thing *follows* the natural laws that are built into it and is subject to the forces [such as gravity for planets, colors for butterflies] that it is exposed to! .... Some scientists go even further and say that newborn animals are 'cute' [with big eyes] in order for their mother feel attracted to them and thus, protect and nurture them! Just at the right time [when babies don't have teeth] mother's breast get milk which if not 'relieved' starts hurting mother's breasts... and, the babies feed! As babies start learning to eat, mother's milk supply begins to cease... Little after the babies stop feeding, milk supply too stops! .... If you drop the *assumption* that all people do everything only because of their 'conscious' thinking, logic, reason and conscious *choosing*... many things will stop not needing much explanation! --- *On the similar lines... they claim many physical attributes that most males find very attractive in female... are in fact, signs of High Fertility! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 Yes, that´s nice, Arvind, thank you! That´s an interesting lesson on how to look at creation. My point was more the issue I picked out from listening to ´s " I need your Love, ist that true? " And I can relate that to my own experience recently made in my own relationship. I can really love and genuinely love the other person only as soon as and as long as I love and trust myself! I do not really love the other person when I don´t trust myself and put myself down. Not until I have learned and got ready to love ME and be honest towards myself and respect myself ... I can love HIM. Recently I found out that I need no longer ask him " Do you love me? " Earlier in my life I´ve always felt that I had to ask that question. I was insecure. I wanted to feel certain and secure. But there is no such a thing as security, certainty in relationships! I think that´s what wanted to have a look at (among other issues). Nowadays I don´t ask any more " Do you love me? " I just know that he loves me, I don´t doubt that as long as I can feel it. As long as I feel love - with OR without him - there is no need of asking him ... I don´t want him to repeat it, to confirm, to make me feel " certain " , to assure me - that I am loved. When I wait for his confirmation that he loves me, then I suddenly " fall out of love " because I doubt that I am a loveable being and all my hopes for " getting " love are being invested in him - he is the one who will approve of me and like me and adore me and then - exactly then there will be the moment when I experience love, .... only that moment when he tells me I´ll believe that I am loveable, I´ll believe that I deserve love. There is no other person to COMPLETE me. When I love myself I feel perfect ( Tami - oh yes!!!) with or without another person. I feel peace inside me and outside ... I find that I love any people who may come across my way ... Actually this was what I experienced in my life recently ... I was happy the way it was ... and then I met a man. ------------- !!!!!!!!!! It´s exciting! I sometimes ask myself: Who is he? I suspect that I met him because I had loved myself BEFORE I met him! He doesn´t have to give me anything, you see, because I was not looking for him to approve of me, not looking for love, not looking for anything. I felt that I had already what I needed. In fact, I knew that I always have everything I need, I AM love ...!!! And yet - it is a gift for me that I met him. And it is so much, of course, that he gives to me ! It´s a precious gift, oh well, yes ... it is! So, can I conclude out of this experience that I have to learn something from this relationship, ...that WE have to learn something, this guy and me, that we wouldn´t probably learn when we had not met ? ?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, R > > [...] > > > > But still ... > > Why is there often so much yearning for being in love with > > another person > > and why at all be a couple and live together - for decades, > > sometimes ... ??? > > I guess I don´t get that at the moment ... > > > > Would you anyone give me your opinion, > > it will be very much appreciated! > > > > Love, > > R > > > > > When asked about why planets revolve around > Sun... scientists say it is due to the gravity of > sun! > > When asked about why Sun shines... scientists > say it is because of the nuclear reactions taking > place in the core of sun. > > When asked about why flowers are bright*... they > explain it is to attract butterflies in order to > pollinate! > > ... > > Scientists explain most things in the universe, > simply by matter of *natural laws*! Each and > every thing *follows* the natural laws that are > built into it and is subject to the forces [such > as gravity for planets, colors for butterflies] > that it is exposed to! > > ... > > Some scientists go even further and say that > newborn animals are 'cute' [with big eyes] in > order for their mother feel attracted to them and > thus, protect and nurture them! > > Just at the right time [when babies don't have > teeth] mother's breast get milk which if not > 'relieved' starts hurting mother's breasts... > and, the babies feed! > > As babies start learning to eat, mother's milk > supply begins to cease... > > Little after the babies stop feeding, milk > supply too stops! > > ... > > If you drop the *assumption* that all people do > everything only because of their 'conscious' > thinking, logic, reason and conscious *choosing*... > > > many things will stop not needing much > explanation! > > > --- > > *On the similar lines... they claim many > physical attributes that most males find very > attractive in female... are in fact, signs of > High Fertility! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Well, you miss the parts in you that you see in the other person. That's why you long for her. And you will long for her, as long as you need her to feel complete. And that's not love. It's being needy. Because if I can't let you go and wish you well from the bottom of my heart, sincerely, then it's not love I feel for you. If on the other hand I do love you, I'll do anything for you. Love, Rosemarie Sadjed schrieb: Hi, friends, some time ago there was a post in this list on a certain topic I probably have lost the thread of how the discussion developed, I don´t remember well now ... or maybe it was not discussed further ? Anyhow ... there is this question I would like to ask. It is concerning love in relationships (of a couple): If the other person is ME - because I am everything, everything is me, God, All, Nothing, ... - then why do human beings fall in love at all? " You are me and I am you, one is one and one are two " by the way is a song by Sally Potter ( " Tango Lesson " ) I love you = I love myself ???!!!! Why then do we humans live together as a couple? I´ve been listening a lot to ´s second book (the audio version) " I need your Love. Is that true? " There it gets perfectly clear that one can only love another person if one loves herself/himself. So, that means that the other person is a mirror to me ... o.k. I get that. But still ... Why is there often so much yearning for being in love with another person and why at all be a couple and live together - for decades, sometimes ... ??? I guess I don´t get that at the moment ... Would you anyone give me your opinion, it will be very much appreciated! Love, R Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Yes, to yearn is to think to need. Love, But still ... Why is there often so much yearning for being in love with another person *****So much? How much is that? And notice there's yearning for lots of things: power, money, comfort, sex. Perhaps you're focused on one, rather than the whole issue of " Yearning. " And there are LOTS of answers to THAT question! There's the Buddhist, the Christian, the Moslem, the Hindu....each " teaching " has its own answer(s). and why at all be a couple and live together - for decades, sometimes ... ??? *****Probably because neither person got a better offer. :-))))) --------------------------------- Yahoo! Messenger - kostenlos* mit Familie und Freunden von PC zu PC telefonieren. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Well... just enjoy the ride and be open to anything that comes. Love, So, can I conclude out of this experience that I have to learn something from this relationship, ...that WE have to learn something, this guy and me, that we wouldn´t probably learn when we had not met ? --------------------------------- Jetzt mit Yahoo! Messenger Tickets zur FIFA WM 2006 gewinnen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 WARNING I am about to quote! So any of you who don't take quotes well Please be gentle with yourself and back of this post S L O W L Y In the book " Conversation with God " It is written: When I want for you what ~I~ want for you = I love ~myself~ threw you When I want for you what you want for yourself= I love you END OF QUOTE I am learning how to love And I am not there yet But I made a huge step I want Zigi to be with his wife And I want ALex to be with It is a beginning T > Well, you miss the parts in you that you see in the other person. That's why you long for her. And you will long for her, as long as you need her to feel complete. > > And that's not love. It's being needy. Because if I can't let you go and wish you well from the bottom of my heart, sincerely, then it's not love I feel for you. > > If on the other hand I do love you, I'll do anything for you. > > Love, > > > Rosemarie Sadjed schrieb: > Hi, friends, > > some time ago there was a post in this list on a certain topic I > probably have lost the thread of how the discussion developed, I > don´t remember well now ... > or maybe it was not discussed further ? > Anyhow ... There is this question I would like to ask. > It is concerning love in relationships (of a couple): > > If the other person is ME - because I am everything, everything > is me, God, All, Nothing, ... - then why do human beings fall in > love at all? > " You are me and I am you, > one is one and one are two " by the way is a song by Sally > Potter ( " Tango Lesson " ) > > I love you = I love myself ???!!!! > > Why then do we humans live together as a couple? > > I´ve been listening a lot to ´s second book (the audio > version) " I need your Love. Is that true? " > There it gets perfectly clear that one can only love another person > if one loves herself/himself. > So, that means that the other person is a mirror to me ... > o.k. I get that. > > But still ... > Why is there often so much yearning for being in love with > another person > and why at all be a couple and live together - for decades, > sometimes ... ??? > I guess I don´t get that at the moment ... > > Would you anyone give me your opinion, > it will be very much appreciated! > > Love, > R > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Hey, did I her a ride? I want a free ride too, where can I get it, ? > Well... > > just enjoy the ride and be open to anything that comes. > > Love, > > > So, can I conclude out of this experience that I have to learn > something from this relationship, ...that WE have to learn > something, this guy and me, that we wouldn´t probably learn > when we had not met ? > > > --------------------------------- > Jetzt mit Yahoo! Messenger Tickets zur FIFA WM 2006 gewinnen. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 YES ...beautiful!! > > Well, you miss the parts in you that you see in the other person. That's why you long for her. And you will long for her, as long as you need her to feel complete. > > And that's not love. It's being needy. Because if I can't let you go and wish you well from the bottom of my heart, sincerely, then it's not love I feel for you. > > If on the other hand I do love you, I'll do anything for you. > > Love, > > > Rosemarie Sadjed schrieb: > Hi, friends, > > some time ago there was a post in this list on a certain topic I > probably have lost the thread of how the discussion developed, I > don´t remember well now ... > or maybe it was not discussed further ? > Anyhow ... there is this question I would like to ask. > It is concerning love in relationships (of a couple): > > If the other person is ME - because I am everything, everything > is me, God, All, Nothing, ... - then why do human beings fall in > love at all? > " You are me and I am you, > one is one and one are two " by the way is a song by Sally > Potter ( " Tango Lesson " ) > > I love you = I love myself ???!!!! > > Why then do we humans live together as a couple? > > I´ve been listening a lot to ´s second book (the audio > version) " I need your Love. Is that true? " > There it gets perfectly clear that one can only love another person > if one loves herself/himself. > So, that means that the other person is a mirror to me ... > o.k. I get that. > > But still ... > Why is there often so much yearning for being in love with > another person > and why at all be a couple and live together - for decades, > sometimes ... ??? > I guess I don´t get that at the moment ... > > Would you anyone give me your opinion, > it will be very much appreciated! > > Love, > R > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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