Re: Avoiding looking at it

[Guest guest]

Dear Roslyn,

You are right, it was just an example. An example from a place where

I had been, once.

I remember believing that thought felt very painful.

Regarding someone's feelings is not being in another's buisness. It's

always about you, in the end. It's her feelings, is that true?

I can not FEEL your feelings. I can guess. I can ask. And I can not

know.

Respecting your feelings and your boundaries would be respecting my

feelings and my boundaries.

Yours don't even exist in my world. When I think you hurt because of

me, I back up, because of me. Not because of you.

My wife and I separated, because I feel I hurt her, if we don't. I

could not do what she asked for.

It's about being in my integrity. Not her's.

Love,

Am 05.03.2006 um 04:43 schrieb mrcitrus6:

> , -you wrote I should of tried harder to save my relationship..

> it was only an example (maybe not true.) but it reminded me..

> at the workshop said there is only one marriage and that is to

> ourselves.. your only living with you and all others are your

> projections.

> Also if you did not regard her feelings enough.. wouldnt that be being

> in her business?.

>

> One girl at the workshop said she has only been married 3 years and

> and her husband is upset because she doesnt mind if they divorce or

> not..and she says she is ok either way. KAtie said she had probably

> changed alot in 3 years because she has been doing the work. HEr

> husband has not..

> He is annoyed that she is not more upset.. and she cant be upset.

>

> Enjoy tamis trip..

> love,roslyn

>

>

>

>

> -- In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>>

>> Dear Roslyn,

>>

>>> I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

>>> judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

>>> me.

>> What I do is to look at my self-judgements and see how they reflect

>> in others.

>>

>> Or to take the self-judgements and put in a name, instead of " I "

>>

>> e.g.:

>>

>> " I should have tried harder to save my relationship.

>> I was too egoistic and did not regard her feelings enough. "

>>

>> Three ways to go on from here (which are not mutually exclusive,

>> btw.)

>>

>> 1. do the work with what I have.

>> 2. Take my self-judgements and try to find someone else they fit on.

>> 3. Just write in the third person ( " should have tried

>> harder... " )

>>

>> If the work doesn't work, it could be a sign for a motive. So I try

>> to find someone whom I don't have a motive with.

>>

>> I may just go out on the street, there's enough people around.

>>

>> Love,

>>

>>

>>

>> Am 01.03.2006 um 00:27 schrieb mrcitrus6:

>>

>>> i tried going to craigs list and dont know which one you are on..

>>> i can post here anyway

>>> -at least you have people you can write a work sheet on..

>>> ISt that crazy? i have so much jealousy im jealous of people who had

>>> worse childhoods.

>>> And i used to think i was not a jealous person.

>>>

>>> I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

>>> judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

>>> me. I suppose the I know mind is strong

>>> hope you enjoyed the junk food.

>>> I like your emails

>>> love,roslyn

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear

When you bring yourself, you are so lovable!

I feel love for you,

I wanted to tell you that.

Please see me as your friend !!!

Yours, Tami

> I just posted some personal stuff relating to painful stuff from my

> past, on Craig's List.

>

> Part of me really wants to direct you to that site and those

posts. Why?

>

> Why do I keep going back there every five minutes, hoping that

someone

> will have posted responses to my posts?

>

> Some people did, sharing stories of their own pain. And when I

read

> theirs it feels like some emptiness in me goes away.

>

> I want to have had loving parents when I grew up. Not the mom that

hit

> me so much and called me fat/ugly/bad, not the dad that ignored my

> existence.

>

> God, this feels so deep, like a bottomless pit. I don't want to

go here.

>

> In a meditation recently, I saw an image: there were two figurines

on

> a shelf, and they represented this image I still cling to so, of

the

> ideal mother and father. I'm terrified of going back to the

memories

> of what it was like living with them as a child, I was so

powerless.

> A punching bag for my mother's rage.

>

> I get on this site and post all this smart ass stuff, but I don't

come

> here and post the stuff I don't want you, or anyone to see. I feel

> such shame. I am ashamed of my neediness.

>

> I know I could do a worksheet now. But instead I think I'll go eat

> some junk food. Fuck it.

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Let's have some chocolate cake and some ice cream.

Sounds good to me.

If you ever feel like doing The Work on this let me know.

Love, Steve D.

>

> Dear

>

> When you bring yourself, you are so lovable!

> I feel love for you,

> I wanted to tell you that.

>

> Please see me as your friend !!!

>

> Yours, Tami

>

>

>

> > I just posted some personal stuff relating to painful stuff from

my

> > past, on Craig's List.

> >

> > Part of me really wants to direct you to that site and those

> posts. Why?

> >

> > Why do I keep going back there every five minutes, hoping that

> someone

> > will have posted responses to my posts?

> >

> > Some people did, sharing stories of their own pain. And when I

> read

> > theirs it feels like some emptiness in me goes away.

> >

> > I want to have had loving parents when I grew up. Not the mom

that

> hit

> > me so much and called me fat/ugly/bad, not the dad that ignored my

> > existence.

> >

> > God, this feels so deep, like a bottomless pit. I don't want to

> go here.

> >

> > In a meditation recently, I saw an image: there were two

figurines

> on

> > a shelf, and they represented this image I still cling to so, of

> the

> > ideal mother and father. I'm terrified of going back to the

> memories

> > of what it was like living with them as a child, I was so

> powerless.

> > A punching bag for my mother's rage.

> >

> > I get on this site and post all this smart ass stuff, but I don't

> come

> > here and post the stuff I don't want you, or anyone to see. I

feel

> > such shame. I am ashamed of my neediness.

> >

> > I know I could do a worksheet now. But instead I think I'll go

eat

> > some junk food. Fuck it.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}

I hope you will feel free to show us all sides of your wonderful

self. I love your humor and playfulness, and I would like to see the

rest of you, if you want to share it.

>

> I just posted some personal stuff relating to painful stuff from my

> past, on Craig's List.

>

> Part of me really wants to direct you to that site and those posts.

Why?

>

> Why do I keep going back there every five minutes, hoping that

someone

> will have posted responses to my posts?

>

> Some people did, sharing stories of their own pain. And when I read

> theirs it feels like some emptiness in me goes away.

>

> I want to have had loving parents when I grew up. Not the mom that

hit

> me so much and called me fat/ugly/bad, not the dad that ignored my

> existence.

>

> God, this feels so deep, like a bottomless pit. I don't want to go

here.

>

> In a meditation recently, I saw an image: there were two figurines

on

> a shelf, and they represented this image I still cling to so, of the

> ideal mother and father. I'm terrified of going back to the

memories

> of what it was like living with them as a child, I was so

powerless.

> A punching bag for my mother's rage.

>

> I get on this site and post all this smart ass stuff, but I don't

come

> here and post the stuff I don't want you, or anyone to see. I feel

> such shame. I am ashamed of my neediness.

>

> I know I could do a worksheet now. But instead I think I'll go eat

> some junk food. Fuck it.

>

[Guest guest]

Dearest ,

not so long ago, I had the same story as you. My parents didn´t love

me when I grew up, why otherwise would they treat me like they did?

Why would a father beat up his own child so the blood is flowing if

he loves her? Why would a mother cut apart her childs clothes and

tell her she wished that her daughter was dead, if she loved her? My

childhood was like an open wound, hurting, hurting. I hated my

parents so much. Most of all my dad. I just wanted him to die. It

was so painful.

What changed everything for me was doing the Work. On everything. It

opened my heart. I also remember when I first became bipolar and had

no capacity to take care of my own child, or when I became psycotic

and said the most terrible things to her. That made me realize that

no more than I could help what happened to me, no more could my

parents. I understood that we are all innocent. They did the best

they could, just like me. That they didn´t love me was a very

painful story I had. And that I hated them was an even more painful

story.

Today I love them with all of my heart, tell them as often as I can,

and I speak to them several times a week. And I have explained to

them that I totally understand them, hold nothing against them and

thet there is nothing to forgive.

I know it can seem scary before you take a look at your stories. But

, it´s the stories that are scary, not what you will find

underneeth. If you really want an end to your painful childhood,

question your stories! It´s not bottomless. There is an end to the

pain and then comes peace. Why not give it a try? The only thing you

could lose is your pain.

Love you,

>

> I just posted some personal stuff relating to painful stuff from my

> past, on Craig's List.

>

> Part of me really wants to direct you to that site and those

posts. Why?

>

> Why do I keep going back there every five minutes, hoping that

someone

> will have posted responses to my posts?

>

> Some people did, sharing stories of their own pain. And when I

read

> theirs it feels like some emptiness in me goes away.

>

> I want to have had loving parents when I grew up. Not the mom that

hit

> me so much and called me fat/ugly/bad, not the dad that ignored my

> existence.

>

> God, this feels so deep, like a bottomless pit. I don't want to

go here.

>

> In a meditation recently, I saw an image: there were two figurines

on

> a shelf, and they represented this image I still cling to so, of

the

> ideal mother and father. I'm terrified of going back to the

memories

> of what it was like living with them as a child, I was so

powerless.

> A punching bag for my mother's rage.

>

> I get on this site and post all this smart ass stuff, but I don't

come

> here and post the stuff I don't want you, or anyone to see. I feel

> such shame. I am ashamed of my neediness.

>

> I know I could do a worksheet now. But instead I think I'll go eat

> some junk food. Fuck it.

>

[Guest guest]

i tried going to craigs list and dont know which one you are on..

i can post here anyway

-at least you have people you can write a work sheet on..

ISt that crazy? i have so much jealousy im jealous of people who had

worse childhoods.

And i used to think i was not a jealous person.

I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

me. I suppose the I know mind is strong

hope you enjoyed the junk food.

I like your emails

love,roslyn

-- In Loving-what-is , " " wrote:

>

> I just posted some personal stuff relating to painful stuff from my

> past, on Craig's List.

>

> Part of me really wants to direct you to that site and those posts. Why?

>

> Why do I keep going back there every five minutes, hoping that someone

> will have posted responses to my posts?

>

> Some people did, sharing stories of their own pain. And when I read

> theirs it feels like some emptiness in me goes away.

>

> I want to have had loving parents when I grew up. Not the mom that hit

> me so much and called me fat/ugly/bad, not the dad that ignored my

> existence.

>

> God, this feels so deep, like a bottomless pit. I don't want to go

here.

>

> In a meditation recently, I saw an image: there were two figurines on

> a shelf, and they represented this image I still cling to so, of the

> ideal mother and father. I'm terrified of going back to the memories

> of what it was like living with them as a child, I was so powerless.

> A punching bag for my mother's rage.

>

> I get on this site and post all this smart ass stuff, but I don't come

> here and post the stuff I don't want you, or anyone to see. I feel

> such shame. I am ashamed of my neediness.

>

> I know I could do a worksheet now. But instead I think I'll go eat

> some junk food. Fuck it.

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Roslyn,

> I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

> judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

> me.

What I do is to look at my self-judgements and see how they reflect

in others.

Or to take the self-judgements and put in a name, instead of " I "

e.g.:

" I should have tried harder to save my relationship.

I was too egoistic and did not regard her feelings enough. "

Three ways to go on from here (which are not mutually exclusive, btw.)

1. do the work with what I have.

2. Take my self-judgements and try to find someone else they fit on.

3. Just write in the third person ( " should have tried

harder... " )

If the work doesn't work, it could be a sign for a motive. So I try

to find someone whom I don't have a motive with.

I may just go out on the street, there's enough people around.

Love,

Am 01.03.2006 um 00:27 schrieb mrcitrus6:

> i tried going to craigs list and dont know which one you are on..

> i can post here anyway

> -at least you have people you can write a work sheet on..

> ISt that crazy? i have so much jealousy im jealous of people who had

> worse childhoods.

> And i used to think i was not a jealous person.

>

> I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

> judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

> me. I suppose the I know mind is strong

> hope you enjoyed the junk food.

> I like your emails

> love,roslyn

[Guest guest]

Dear A

You wrote:

" If the work doesn't work, it could be a sign for a motive. So I try

to find someone whom I don't have a motive with.

I may just go out on the street, there's enough people around " .

And I ask:

I am not on the streets, (YET)

What is your motive with me?

Love,

Love

T

Am 01.03.2006 um 00:27 schrieb mrcitrus6:

> i tried going to craigs list and dont know which one you are on..

> i can post here anyway

> -at least you have people you can write a work sheet on..

> ISt that crazy? i have so much jealousy im jealous of people who had

> worse childhoods.

> And i used to think i was not a jealous person.

>

> I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

> judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

> me. I suppose the I know mind is strong

> hope you enjoyed the junk food.

> I like your emails

> love,roslyn

[Guest guest]

, -you wrote I should of tried harder to save my relationship..

it was only an example (maybe not true.) but it reminded me..

at the workshop said there is only one marriage and that is to

ourselves.. your only living with you and all others are your

projections.

Also if you did not regard her feelings enough.. wouldnt that be being

in her business?.

One girl at the workshop said she has only been married 3 years and

and her husband is upset because she doesnt mind if they divorce or

not..and she says she is ok either way. KAtie said she had probably

changed alot in 3 years because she has been doing the work. HEr

husband has not..

He is annoyed that she is not more upset.. and she cant be upset.

Enjoy tamis trip..

love,roslyn

-- In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>

> Dear Roslyn,

>

> > I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

> > judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

> > me.

> What I do is to look at my self-judgements and see how they reflect

> in others.

>

> Or to take the self-judgements and put in a name, instead of " I "

>

> e.g.:

>

> " I should have tried harder to save my relationship.

> I was too egoistic and did not regard her feelings enough. "

>

> Three ways to go on from here (which are not mutually exclusive, btw.)

>

> 1. do the work with what I have.

> 2. Take my self-judgements and try to find someone else they fit on.

> 3. Just write in the third person ( " should have tried

> harder... " )

>

> If the work doesn't work, it could be a sign for a motive. So I try

> to find someone whom I don't have a motive with.

>

> I may just go out on the street, there's enough people around.

>

> Love,

>

>

>

> Am 01.03.2006 um 00:27 schrieb mrcitrus6:

>

> > i tried going to craigs list and dont know which one you are on..

> > i can post here anyway

> > -at least you have people you can write a work sheet on..

> > ISt that crazy? i have so much jealousy im jealous of people who had

> > worse childhoods.

> > And i used to think i was not a jealous person.

> >

> > I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

> > judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

> > me. I suppose the I know mind is strong

> > hope you enjoyed the junk food.

> > I like your emails

> > love,roslyn

>

[Guest guest]

also alexander.. .. thank you for the suggestions.--

I havent done the work yet.. duh i avoid it..

I saw Wheeler and he was amazing like katie..

His website is thenaturalstate.

His book is AWakening to the NAtural State.

Like katie, he says we only get in trouble by believing our thoughts.

And we dont need to get anywhere.. we are already there.. nothing to

strive for

love,roslyn

- In Loving-what-is , wrote:

>

> Dear Roslyn,

>

> > I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

> > judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

> > me.

> What I do is to look at my self-judgements and see how they reflect

> in others.

>

> Or to take the self-judgements and put in a name, instead of " I "

>

> e.g.:

>

> " I should have tried harder to save my relationship.

> I was too egoistic and did not regard her feelings enough. "

>

> Three ways to go on from here (which are not mutually exclusive, btw.)

>

> 1. do the work with what I have.

> 2. Take my self-judgements and try to find someone else they fit on.

> 3. Just write in the third person ( " should have tried

> harder... " )

>

> If the work doesn't work, it could be a sign for a motive. So I try

> to find someone whom I don't have a motive with.

>

> I may just go out on the street, there's enough people around.

>

> Love,

>

>

>

> Am 01.03.2006 um 00:27 schrieb mrcitrus6:

>

> > i tried going to craigs list and dont know which one you are on..

> > i can post here anyway

> > -at least you have people you can write a work sheet on..

> > ISt that crazy? i have so much jealousy im jealous of people who had

> > worse childhoods.

> > And i used to think i was not a jealous person.

> >

> > I never can come up with much as most of my judgements are self

> > judgments and i believe them so strongly the work is not working for

> > me. I suppose the I know mind is strong

> > hope you enjoyed the junk food.

> > I like your emails

> > love,roslyn

>