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A note about parenting...

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There has been a lot of talk lately about our lack of mothering and

how we still crave that lost attention and affection.

I am alone this week while my dh in away on business and my dk's & I

have been housebound with colds.

Last night, I tucked in my little boy and settled in on the couch with

my baby girl. I just couldn't take my eyes off her. I think I spent

the better part of an hour memorizing every part of her face. I am

amazed at the love I have for my kids. I just ADORE them. No other

kids could be more beautiful to me. It feels like the one instance

where it is physically possible for a human being to explode.

My point is that a love like this would have been wonderful to have

had with a mother. I grieve the little baby I was who didn't

experience what my kids do...BUT...I feel like this love does exist

and it exists in and through me. It is the same love I should have

had, just in a new form. I feel lucky & greatful to be part of an

experience that is so much greater than myself.

I am not suggesting people run out and have babies to experience this

love...I just want to reassure those sitting on the fence about

whether or not this is something you want, or even deserve, that while

it won't fill the whole left by nada but there is something miraculous

that happens in it's stead.

We are capable of giving what we have not received. It is surprising

to me that it took my becoming a mother to finally experience what I

missed as a child. It is possible to bind yourself to another life

without it being unhealthy, all consuming and irresponsible.

I almost didn't have this. I was very scared.

" ultimately we know deeply that the other side of fear is freedom "

Marilyn Ferguson.

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