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In a message dated 10/25/01 5:58:26 PM Central Daylight Time,

muollo3@... writes:

> i have a few and i'm geared to have more. i can't handle this. i already

> have enough doubts about my parenting skills without having other people

> saying i really do have a reason to feel that way. i know they are trying

> to help and only have mine and my kids best interests at heart

What kind of things are they telling you? Its not right if it is hurting

your feelings. I'm sorry this is happening. They should be trained to say

things tactfully.

le

married to Isaac

SAHM to

Marisa 6

Jordan 3

Christian 2

1-26-01 cvr 5-30-01

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In a message dated 10/25/01 7:09:39 PM Central Daylight Time,

nitetrax@... writes:

> > i lack structure

> > i lack discipline

> > i apparantly lack good judgment

> >

> > so in a nutshell...i'm lacking :(

>

> I bet more than anything, you're lacking in support. Do these know-it-alls

> who make these observations have any useful suggestions, or do they come

> over and tell you what you're not doing right

I agree. They should give you constructive criticism. Not tear you down.

If they do that it isn't helping the child any. Call them back and demand

that they tell you how they expect you to implement structure and discipline.

I can't imagine that anyone should be telling you that you lack good

judgement!!! Call them back!!! Don't feel bad though. I know it is hard

enough to parent an nt child. It is even harder for one who is not. I have

no idea how to discipline Puff. I have to restrain myself from losing my

temper. Yelling does not help. I am so knew to the game, that I don't have

any real suggestions, but am offering support. I can almost hear the hurt in

your email. I would love to reach out and offer you a shoulder, like so many

of you have to me lately.

le

married to Isaac

SAHM to

Marisa 6

Jordan 3

Christian 2

1-26-01 cvr 5-30-01

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In a message dated 10/25/01 8:54:46 PM Central Daylight Time,

muollo3@... writes:

> I assure you that if someone told me how to parent I would be on the phone

> to dh crying and he would " handle " it. <

>

> see danielle, that's part of the problem. i'm doing this all alone and i

> pretty much always have been

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. How are you at yelling? Call

them back. You are your child's advocate. I have faith.

le

married to Isaac

SAHM to

Marisa 6

Jordan 3

Christian 2

1-26-01 cvr 5-30-01

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behavioral therapists coming to your home and telling you how to change your

parenting?

i have a few and i'm geared to have more. i can't handle this. i already have

enough doubts about my parenting skills without having other people saying i

really do have a reason to feel that way. i know they are trying to help and

only have mine and my kids best interests at heart, but how am i supposed to

keep from crying after everytime someone is here. this is killing me :'(

love a very sad mommy

" Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit

different? " - Linus

" I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to

understand me. " - Snoopy

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> I assure you that if someone told me how to parent I would be on the phone to

dh crying and he would " handle " it. <

see danielle, that's part of the problem. i'm doing this all alone and i pretty

much always have been.

" Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit

different? " - Linus

" I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to

understand me. " - Snoopy

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> I bet more than anything, you're lacking in support. Do these know-

it-alls

> who make these observations have any useful suggestions, or do they

come

> over and tell you what you're not doing right?

Sissi is right on. It's awfully darn difficult to be " on " 24/7.

You just get to worn out physically and emotionally. Consistency is

important but when you are just so worn out it's tough to do it 100%

of the time, not to mention it's almost impossible to enforce

directives when you are tending the toddler. Keep trying. That's all

we can do.

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> I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. <

it's ok, don't feel bad :)

" Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit

different? " - Linus

" I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to

understand me. " - Snoopy

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:

Not that it helps, but I think Sara had some problem with someone coming into

her house and doing about the same thing to her. I think it was a county

person coming to " help " her with something. Sara, are you out there?

, 40, Columbus, OH

Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, and????

Mom to:

, 15, probably Bipolar

Annie, 12, so far so good!

JD, 8, Autism, severe ADHD, maybe bipolar, AND

my reason for getting out of bed each day!!!

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,

This sure sounds as if they are overstepping their boundaries a bit! This

is just like the ones that told Sara that her house was a mess until she

asked them if they could get back to what they were there for! Besides,

where do they get off making these judgements about you, it's not like

they've known you up close and personal.

Try not to give what they said much weight. They are wrong and you know

that you are trying to do the best you can for your children. Period.

Big cyber hug .

Sue

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> > i lack structure

> > i lack discipline

> > i apparantly lack good judgment

:

I am sure that I lack structure and discipline and obviously good judgment

too or I would not have married Lou.

I would like to see those who criticize you manage what you probably manage.

They think it is so easy.

They simply haven't a clue. A full time mothering relationship is MUCH

different from a therapist's relationship.

Salli

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