a foo first: an appology!!!!! (a real one)

[Guest guest]

I just had to share some good news! I think I shared a few months ago

that one of my brothers (the one I think is more healthy) threatened

to kill me over the hollidays during a typically fun-filled foo visit.

I left the next day and wrote him an email from the safety of my home

telling him I didn't think that was appropriate and didn't like it

etc. He never responded, although we did begin speaking again and

have been in touch recently. He finally appologized and it's like a

weight off of me.

It's very vaildating because appologizing for something means admiting

that it happened, and that it wasn't right (and that it wasn't somehow

my fault in the first place). I knew all of these things, but my foo

is so crazy that I wasn't expecting validation from anyone. I

honestly can't even think of another time when someone has truly

appologized to me for anything. I've heard the words, " I'm sorry, "

but these are always followed by the reason why I brought the

mistreatment of the day on my self.

It's also a relief to think that perhaps I have at least one member of

my family who is also healthy enough to concieve of appologizing for

something and to understand that our family has PROBLEMS! Also, it

has been bothering me recently that I am in contact with him more and

feeling closer to him although he seemed to really want to hurt me

when we were children and had recently threatened me again. It seemed

very unresolved and I felt very, very guarded about the whole thing.

I'm not saying that I'll throw caution to the wind now, but this is a

major (and unexpected) event for me. And, of course, it's always a

relief to know that someone doesn't actually want to kill

you--especially for someone as paranoid as myself. It's good to have

the reassurance!

Trish

[Guest guest]

Trish, I'm happy for you that your brother apologized! Mine wanted to kill me

after his freak-out at a lovely family Thanksgiving about ten years ago. (We

then, um, left before dinner, which also went over big, nada nad grandnada

crying hysterically.) He never apologized, nor did he ever say he didn't want to

kill me--he just eventually...got over it. (Cuz I'm still here, ha.) I'm glad

your brother was able to apologize!

Best

Flea

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[Guest guest]

Flea, I remember you saying your brother was violent like mine when

you were young, but I didn't actually know that yours had also

threatened to kill you. I think that the violence and the threat

later in life were really weighing on me because, even if I didn't

realy think it was likely he would kill me, you shouldn't have to

wonder about that kind of stuff with your family! I mean, I laugh it

off, but it made me really sad.

Trish

>

> Trish, I'm happy for you that your brother apologized! Mine wanted

to kill me after his freak-out at a lovely family Thanksgiving about

ten years ago. (We then, um, left before dinner, which also went over

big, nada nad grandnada crying hysterically.) He never apologized, nor

did he ever say he didn't want to kill me--he just eventually...got

over it. (Cuz I'm still here, ha.) I'm glad your brother was able to

apologize!

> Best

> Flea

>

>

>

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>