Re: easier, softer, faster, and guaranteed

[Guest guest]

Hello!

A couple things come to mind;

" Guaranteed " ? We Don't Know What We Don't Know- there are no

guarantees in ANYThing, my friend!

" Time-Comsuming " ? Do you mean less time consuming than the " long

history " / " decades " of energy and love you put into OCD, Depression

and Drugs?

" Way out of the trap " ? Hmmm what if you just sat down an lived in the

trap? walking into and living right with your fear(s).

Looking for a " less difficult way " ? Less difficult than what? Right

Now? Less difficult than all that suffering?

Your (his)story is my story and everyone's story just different

hairstyles and zip codes.

With Compassion,

sam t

>

> Hi, All

> Like so many people involved with ACT, I have a long history

> of emotional problems, such as anxiety. depression, OCD, and others.

> When I found ACT (in particular " Get Out of Your Mind and

Into

> Your Life " ), I was overjoyed. Finally, after literally decades of

> therapy, suffering, and searching, I found the answer to a

> fundamental question: " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> difficulties? " . CBT says it can be done, as do many other schools

of

> thought, including, of course, my wife, family, and friends.

> Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer

way

> out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply

> don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> exercises.

> I know this sounds nuts (which, clinically, I'm not), but

I'm

> still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes such as

> Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

> others, including nutritional regimens, and other " energy "

> psychologies. I truly want the solution handed to me, and I've

> learned, the hard way, that alcohol and drugs only exacerbate my

> problems.

> So, anyone at all, what's my problem? Is there a less

> difficult and time-consuming way out of the trap, as hundreds of

web

> sites claim there is, or am I required to apply the effort that

> frightens me so, probable because the outcome is not " guaranteed " .

> I would like to hear from anyone on this, as I find the

> situation very distressing.

> Regards,

> popagator (Don)

> rxdpw@...

>

[Guest guest]

Ok, you asked for it...since youve tried everything, Ive got the

laziest, easiest quick-fix scheme of all. GUARANTEED to solve all

your problems! ready?

do nothing at all.

Effort? Why bother? Havent you spent enough time trying to fix

yourself? maybe you really have tried everything there is to try.

And ACT too. Except for one -- the easiest possible way out:

give up. Give up all hope of ever fixing yourself.

So I guess that would mean, if your current situation is distressing,

then just let it BE distressing! Its pretty damn easy if you think

about it. All you have to do is surrender. How hard is that?

OCD, anxiety, depression. Dude that is grim! Seems like they've got

you surrounded! So why not surrender the battle? Imagine it, you

could be totally, decadently, luxuriously lazy. Look calmly at the

enemy, shug, smile, and say " OK, you win. " Its over. Wave the

white flag, come out with your hands up...and just go with what

happens.

Simple as it gets, absolutely no effort required, and you don't have

to worry about any outcome.

Wouldnt it be frikkin WEIRD if all of a sudden there was no need for

any effort anymore?

>

> Hi, All

> Like so many people involved with ACT, I have a long history

> of emotional problems, such as anxiety. depression, OCD, and others.

> When I found ACT (in particular " Get Out of Your Mind and

Into

> Your Life " ), I was overjoyed. Finally, after literally decades of

> therapy, suffering, and searching, I found the answer to a

> fundamental question: " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> difficulties? " . CBT says it can be done, as do many other schools

of

> thought, including, of course, my wife, family, and friends.

> Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer

way

> out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply

> don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> exercises.

> I know this sounds nuts (which, clinically, I'm not), but

I'm

> still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes such as

> Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

> others, including nutritional regimens, and other " energy "

> psychologies. I truly want the solution handed to me, and I've

> learned, the hard way, that alcohol and drugs only exacerbate my

> problems.

> So, anyone at all, what's my problem? Is there a less

> difficult and time-consuming way out of the trap, as hundreds of

web

> sites claim there is, or am I required to apply the effort that

> frightens me so, probable because the outcome is not " guaranteed " .

> I would like to hear from anyone on this, as I find the

> situation very distressing.

> Regards,

> popagator (Don)

> rxdpw@...

>

[Guest guest]

Attached Message

From:

krice43@...

To:

ACT_for_the_Public

Subject:

Re: Re: easier, softer, faster, and guaranteed

Date:

Fri, 1 Dec 2006 3:29 AM

How does this work for me? At the moment, I have stayed up too late by 3 hours, didn't exercise today (and a lot of days) although I'm depressed and 30 pounds overweight. I retired early and unexpectedly 8 months ago and since then have done almost NOTHING. During my later working life I had plans for the things that I wanted to do when I didn't have to work, many of which were 'improvements' of myself--more exercise, more meditation, working through the ACT workbook : <> , volunteer political work, etc.

I constantly struggle in my mind with what I should be doing in accord with my values, vs. what I AM doing, which is usually nothing much. How does giving in or giving up hope work here?

Re: easier, softer, faster, and guaranteed

Ok, you asked for it...since youve tried everything, Ive got the

laziest, easiest quick-fix scheme of all. GUARANTEED to solve all

your problems! ready?

do nothing at all.

Effort? Why bother? Havent you spent enough time trying to fix

yourself? maybe you really have tried everything there is to try.

And ACT too. Except for one -- the easiest possible way out:

give up. Give up all hope of ever fixing yourself.

So I guess that would mean, if your current situation is distressing,

then just let it BE distressing! Its pretty damn easy if you think

about it. All you have to do is surrender. How hard is that?

OCD, anxiety, depression. Dude that is grim! Seems like they've got

you surrounded! So why not surrender the battle? Imagine it, you

could be totally, decadently, luxuriously lazy. Look calmly at the

enemy, shug, smile, and say "OK, you win." Its over. Wave the

white flag, come out with your hands up...and just go with what

happens.

Simple as it gets, absolutely no effort required, and you don't have

to worry about any outcome.

Wouldnt it be frikkin WEIRD if all of a sudden there was no need for

any effort anymore?

>

> Hi, All

> Like so many people involved with ACT, I have a long history

> of emotional problems, such as anxiety. depression, OCD, and others.

> When I found ACT (in particular "Get Out of Your Mind and

Into

> Your Life"), I was overjoyed. Finally, after literally decades of

> therapy, suffering, and searching, I found the answer to a

> fundamental question: "Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> difficulties?". CBT says it can be done, as do many other schools

of

> thought, including, of course, my wife, family, and friends.

> Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer

way

> out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply

> don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> exercises.

> I know this sounds nuts (which, clinically, I'm not), but

I'm

> still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes such as

> Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

> others, including nutritional regimens, and other "energy"

> psychologies. I truly want the solution handed to me, and I've

> learned, the hard way, that alcohol and drugs only exacerbate my

> problems.

> So, anyone at all, what's my problem? Is there a less

> difficult and time-consuming way out of the trap, as hundreds of

web

> sites claim there is, or am I required to apply the effort that

> frightens me so, probable because the outcome is not "guaranteed".

> I would like to hear from anyone on this, as I find the

> situation very distressing.

> Regards,

> popagator (Don)

> rxdpw@...

>

Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Its pretty simple. You are here. You are struggling against

something. If you look at the struggle and completely surrender to

it, then you arent struggling anymore.

for me learning that was a major relief! almost too good to be true.

You dont have to fight anymore if you dont want to.

>How does this work for me? At the moment, I have stayed up too late

by 3 hours, didn't exercise today (and a lot of days) although I'm

depressed and 30 pounds overweight. I retired early and unexpectedly 8

months ago and since then have done almost NOTHING. During my later

working life I had plans for the things that I wanted to do when I

didn't have to work, many of which were 'improvements' of myself--more

exercise, more meditation, working through the ACT workbook : <> ,

volunteer political work, etc.

>

> I constantly struggle in my mind with what I should be doing in

accord with my values, vs. what I AM doing, which is usually nothing

much. How does giving in or giving up hope work here?

>

>

>

> Re: easier, softer, faster, and

guaranteed

>

>

> Ok, you asked for it...since youve tried everything, Ive got the

> laziest, easiest quick-fix scheme of all. GUARANTEED to solve all

> your problems! ready?

>

> do nothing at all.

>

> Effort? Why bother? Havent you spent enough time trying to fix

> yourself? maybe you really have tried everything there is to try.

> And ACT too. Except for one -- the easiest possible way out:

>

> give up. Give up all hope of ever fixing yourself.

>

> So I guess that would mean, if your current situation is distressing,

> then just let it BE distressing! Its pretty damn easy if you think

> about it. All you have to do is surrender. How hard is that?

>

> OCD, anxiety, depression. Dude that is grim! Seems like they've got

> you surrounded! So why not surrender the battle? Imagine it, you

> could be totally, decadently, luxuriously lazy. Look calmly at the

> enemy, shug, smile, and say " OK, you win. " Its over. Wave the

> white flag, come out with your hands up...and just go with what

> happens.

>

> Simple as it gets, absolutely no effort required, and you don't have

> to worry about any outcome.

>

> Wouldnt it be frikkin WEIRD if all of a sudden there was no need for

> any effort anymore?

>

>

> >

> > Hi, All

> > Like so many people involved with ACT, I have a long history

> > of emotional problems, such as anxiety. depression, OCD, and others.

> > When I found ACT (in particular " Get Out of Your Mind and

> Into

> > Your Life " ), I was overjoyed. Finally, after literally decades of

> > therapy, suffering, and searching, I found the answer to a

> > fundamental question: " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> > difficulties? " . CBT says it can be done, as do many other schools

> of

> > thought, including, of course, my wife, family, and friends.

> > Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer

> way

> > out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply

> > don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> > exercises.

> > I know this sounds nuts (which, clinically, I'm not), but

> I'm

> > still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes such as

> > Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

> > others, including nutritional regimens, and other " energy "

> > psychologies. I truly want the solution handed to me, and I've

> > learned, the hard way, that alcohol and drugs only exacerbate my

> > problems.

> > So, anyone at all, what's my problem? Is there a less

> > difficult and time-consuming way out of the trap, as hundreds of

> web

> > sites claim there is, or am I required to apply the effort that

> > frightens me so, probable because the outcome is not " guaranteed " .

> > I would like to hear from anyone on this, as I find the

> > situation very distressing.

> > Regards,

> > popagator (Don)

> > rxdpw@

> >

>

> Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

>

> ________________________________________________________________________

> Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

>

[Guest guest]

Exactly. If you don't want to do anything, but your mind is telling you *should* do something, well, you have thousands of years of Zen masters who would beg to differ. It might just be our culture that says you have to always be busy, always be productive (and when it gets to be too much, no worries, we have drugs for that).Do nothing, and enjoy. You're retired. Relax. Maybe you value reflection, more than you value those other things you aren't doing. Nothing wrong with that!Goldie [ACT_for_the_ Public] Re: easier, softer, faster, and

guaranteed

>

>

> Ok, you asked for it...since youve tried everything, Ive got the

> laziest, easiest quick-fix scheme of all. GUARANTEED to solve all

> your problems! ready?

>

> do nothing at all.

>

> Effort? Why bother? Havent you spent enough time trying to fix

> yourself? maybe you really have tried everything there is to try.

> And ACT too. Except for one -- the easiest possible way out:

>

> give up. Give up all hope of ever fixing yourself.

>

> So I guess that would mean, if your current situation is distressing,

> then just let it BE distressing! Its pretty damn easy if you think

> about it. All you have to do is surrender. How hard is that?

>

> OCD, anxiety, depression. Dude that is grim! Seems like they've got

> you surrounded! So why not surrender the battle? Imagine it, you

> could be totally, decadently, luxuriously lazy. Look calmly at the

> enemy, shug, smile, and say "OK, you win." Its over. Wave the

> white flag, come out with your hands up...and just go with what

> happens.

>

> Simple as it gets, absolutely no effort required, and you don't have

> to worry about any outcome.

>

> Wouldnt it be frikkin WEIRD if all of a sudden there was no need for

> any effort anymore?

>

>

> >

> > Hi, All

> > Like so many people involved with ACT, I have a long history

> > of emotional problems, such as anxiety. depression, OCD, and others.

> > When I found ACT (in particular "Get Out of Your Mind and

> Into

> > Your Life"), I was overjoyed. Finally, after literally decades of

> > therapy, suffering, and searching, I found the answer to a

> > fundamental question: "Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> > difficulties? ". CBT says it can be done, as do many other schools

> of

> > thought, including, of course, my wife, family, and friends.

> > Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer

> way

> > out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply

> > don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> > exercises.

> > I know this sounds nuts (which, clinically, I'm not), but

> I'm

> > still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes such as

> > Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

> > others, including nutritional regimens, and other "energy"

> > psychologies. I truly want the solution handed to me, and I've

> > learned, the hard way, that alcohol and drugs only exacerbate my

> > problems.

> > So, anyone at all, what's my problem? Is there a less

> > difficult and time-consuming way out of the trap, as hundreds of

> web

> > sites claim there is, or am I required to apply the effort that

> > frightens me so, probable because the outcome is not "guaranteed" .

> > I would like to hear from anyone on this, as I find the

> > situation very distressing.

> > Regards,

> > popagator (Don)

> > rxdpw@

> >

>

> Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

>

Any questions? Get answers on any topic at Yahoo! Answers. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, . But if I don't fight, I would just do nothing, instead of the things that I think I want to do. Or maybe I don't fight with myself, but just do what needs to be done? I've thought of that before, but it seems impossible (usually) for me to DO these things.

Re: easier, softer, faster, and

guaranteed

>

>

> Ok, you asked for it...since youve tried everything, Ive got the

> laziest, easiest quick-fix scheme of all. GUARANTEED to solve all

> your problems! ready?

>

> do nothing at all.

>

> Effort? Why bother? Havent you spent enough time trying to fix

> yourself? maybe you really have tried everything there is to try.

> And ACT too. Except for one -- the easiest possible way out:

>

> give up. Give up all hope of ever fixing yourself.

>

> So I guess that would mean, if your current situation is distressing,

> then just let it BE distressing! Its pretty damn easy if you think

> about it. All you have to do is surrender. How hard is that?

>

> OCD, anxiety, depression. Dude that is grim! Seems like they've got

> you surrounded! So why not surrender the battle? Imagine it, you

> could be totally, decadently, luxuriously lazy. Look calmly at the

> enemy, shug, smile, and say "OK, you win." Its over. Wave the

> white flag, come out with your hands up...and just go with what

> happens.

>

> Simple as it gets, absolutely no effort required, and you don't have

> to worry about any outcome.

>

> Wouldnt it be frikkin WEIRD if all of a sudden there was no need for

> any effort anymore?

>

>

> >

> > Hi, All

> > Like so many people involved with ACT, I have a long history

> > of emotional problems, such as anxiety. depression, OCD, and others.

> > When I found ACT (in particular "Get Out of Your Mind and

> Into

> > Your Life"), I was overjoyed. Finally, after literally decades of

> > therapy, suffering, and searching, I found the answer to a

> > fundamental question: "Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> > difficulties?". CBT says it can be done, as do many other schools

> of

> > thought, including, of course, my wife, family, and friends.

> > Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer

> way

> > out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply

> > don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> > exercises.

> > I know this sounds nuts (which, clinically, I'm not), but

> I'm

> > still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes such as

> > Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

> > others, including nutritional regimens, and other "energy"

> > psychologies. I truly want the solution handed to me, and I've

> > learned, the hard way, that alcohol and drugs only exacerbate my

> > problems.

> > So, anyone at all, what's my problem? Is there a less

> > difficult and time-consuming way out of the trap, as hundreds of

> web

> > sites claim there is, or am I required to apply the effort that

> > frightens me so, probable because the outcome is not "guaranteed".

> > I would like to hear from anyone on this, as I find the

> > situation very distressing.

> > Regards,

> > popagator (Don)

> > rxdpw@

> >

>

> Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

>

Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

[Guest guest]

<< " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my difficulties? " . >>

***I have spent over half my life asking myself just that question.

Only recently have I come to really appreciate that my personal pain

is not a cognitive problem and my mind has no business trying to " fix

it " . As points out, it is that tug of war and identification

with the egoic self that continues to keep us in samsara. Ok, maybe

he doesn't use those words ;-)

<<Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer way out

of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply don't

wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the exercises.>>

***Me too! I spent the better part of the last year trying to FORCE

myself to be willing. I read the book. And I was left with this

deep sense of despair … if nothing I have ever done has worked, and

Forsye's book confirms that nothing I will ever do in the future will

work … AND if I am UNWILLING to just drop the rope (endure the pain

and practice exposure exercises until I have an epiphany) …. Then

what? What's left?

What I like best about the ACT paradigm is that you don't have to get

better. You can't " fail " . You can just become aware of what you are

doing, begin to watch it with both eyes open. You can say NO to

life's question and that's OK. But now, when I do this, I know I am

saying NO, and I try really hard to do so with more compassion that I

have had in the past.

So what about this … what if we accepted that we were unwilling – AT

THE MOMENT – to endure the pain and spend the time on the exercises.

Put the leaping agenda on hold and just concentrate on the VALUES

part of the ACT program. What if, we could identify things that

RIGHT NOW, given the person we are with the personal pain that we

hold, we really value and enjoy doing. Even on my really bad days, I

could usually bake a loaf of bread. In doing the value exercises, I

realize that baking bread fulfills several value domains on my

chart. Instead of making GOALS that involve enduring pain and

exposure work … why not create goals that you can achieve but that

are still in line with your life values.

For me recognizing that I am RIGHT NOW warts and all leading an

awesome life and moving in a direction that is consistent with the

life I value has changed my entire focus and perspective. Do I have

the same physical and emotional personal pains? Probably. If I sat

down and made a list of all the things I still " can't " do, I may not

be better off than before I picked up the ACT workbook last winter.

But the difference now is that I DON'T spend all of my time thinking

about my personal pain and my limitations. Entire DAYS can go by now

and I won't even mention my illness. That's a big shift.

With the focus now on my values – easy attainable goals – my body-

mind has been given a rest. I no longer need to re-create my

disability each day and I get to have a lot more fun doing what I can

do … on days I can do it.

<<I'm still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes

such as Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

others, including nutritional regimens, and other " energy "

psychologies.>>

***I've been an exuberant EFTer since the summertime when I stumbled

across this meridian tapping protocol. And like the program says … I

try it on everything! I've taught EFT to dozens of co-workers,

family and friends and I've seen first hand up close the most

wonderful stories of healing (headaches, heartburn, weight loss,

smoking cessation, pain reduction and emotional issues.) At first I

had that sense of – what gives? – how can I have so much success in

working with other people, but not be able to CURE my own personal

pain with a single well placed tapping point? But you see that comes

back around to " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

difficulties? "

So for me, I use EFT as another tool in my ACT defusion resource

box. While I am not ready to make the big leaps and say I am 100%

committed to doing X no matter WHAT my body or mind does … I can say

that I am committed to going out there and giving it a try and IF my

body/mind flare, I am 100% willing to try some EFT tapping BEFORE I

answer NO to life's question. And for me … the pattern smashing that

the simple interruption of tapping has provided has given the time to

really experience what is happening in my body. To notice my

thoughts in the moment. And more often than not … I can answer YES,

and move just a bit further out into the world without the pain my

mind told me that I would be have to feel.

Salubrious.

~Em

[Guest guest]

I grew up in a rigid and controling religious environment, and I somehow got it into my head that the problem was that I felt like doing things that I shouldn't. It didn't matter if I did them or not. Simply wanting to do them was enough to make me a "bad" person. There are parts of me that still believe this, despite spending 5-10 years trying to change that. Whether or not it is true, is rather irrelevant in my daily functioning. I have finally begun on the path of letting go (I say a path because it is something I pretty much have to do every day). And so I began down the path of trying to live my way out of my difficulties instead of thinking my way out. . . Then I discovered ACT, and now I feel depressed a lot, I'm feel angrier than before, and struggle with making myself do the things that I really want to do. Maybe I should just say that I am now AWARE of all those things. Truth is that they were all there anyway (or so my wife tells me). It is just that

I have only recently allowed myself to be aware of it. Before, I refused to be aware of it because I didn't want to feel like a "bad" person. There are so many things that make me feel like a "bad" person, it is no wonder I tried to repress them. I still don't think that I consistently live by my values, but I've made the step of being aware and mindful of my tendency to be out of touch with myself. It sucks, and it hurts, and it is still better than where I was.earthmther wrote: <<"Why can't

I simply 'think' myself out of my difficulties? ". >> ***I have spent over half my life asking myself just that question. Only recently have I come to really appreciate that my personal pain is not a cognitive problem and my mind has no business trying to "fix it". As points out, it is that tug of war and identification with the egoic self that continues to keep us in samsara. Ok, maybe he doesn't use those words ;-) <<Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer way out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the exercises.>> ***Me too! I spent the better part of the last year trying to FORCE myself to be willing. I read the book. And I was left with this deep sense of despair … if nothing I have ever done has worked, and Forsye's book confirms that nothing I will ever do in

the future will work … AND if I am UNWILLING to just drop the rope (endure the pain and practice exposure exercises until I have an epiphany) …. Then what? What's left? What I like best about the ACT paradigm is that you don't have to get better. You can't "fail". You can just become aware of what you are doing, begin to watch it with both eyes open. You can say NO to life's question and that's OK. But now, when I do this, I know I am saying NO, and I try really hard to do so with more compassion that I have had in the past. So what about this … what if we accepted that we were unwilling – AT THE MOMENT – to endure the pain and spend the time on the exercises. Put the leaping agenda on hold and just concentrate on the VALUES part of the ACT program. What if, we could identify things that RIGHT NOW, given the person we are with the personal pain that we hold, we really value and enjoy

doing. Even on my really bad days, I could usually bake a loaf of bread. In doing the value exercises, I realize that baking bread fulfills several value domains on my chart. Instead of making GOALS that involve enduring pain and exposure work … why not create goals that you can achieve but that are still in line with your life values. For me recognizing that I am RIGHT NOW warts and all leading an awesome life and moving in a direction that is consistent with the life I value has changed my entire focus and perspective. Do I have the same physical and emotional personal pains? Probably. If I sat down and made a list of all the things I still "can't" do, I may not be better off than before I picked up the ACT workbook last winter. But the difference now is that I DON'T spend all of my time thinking about my personal pain and my limitations. Entire DAYS can go by now and I won't even mention

my illness. That's a big shift. With the focus now on my values – easy attainable goals – my body- mind has been given a rest. I no longer need to re-create my disability each day and I get to have a lot more fun doing what I can do … on days I can do it. <<I'm still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes such as Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of others, including nutritional regimens, and other "energy" psychologies.>> ***I've been an exuberant EFTer since the summertime when I stumbled across this meridian tapping protocol. And like the program says … I try it on everything! I've taught EFT to dozens of co-workers, family and friends and I've seen first hand up close the most wonderful stories of healing (headaches, heartburn, weight loss, smoking cessation, pain reduction and emotional issues.) At first I had that sense

of – what gives? – how can I have so much success in working with other people, but not be able to CURE my own personal pain with a single well placed tapping point? But you see that comes back around to "Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my difficulties?" So for me, I use EFT as another tool in my ACT defusion resource box. While I am not ready to make the big leaps and say I am 100% committed to doing X no matter WHAT my body or mind does … I can say that I am committed to going out there and giving it a try and IF my body/mind flare, I am 100% willing to try some EFT tapping BEFORE I answer NO to life's question. And for me … the pattern smashing that the simple interruption of tapping has provided has given the time to really experience what is happening in my body. To notice my thoughts in the moment. And more often than not … I can answer YES, and move just a bit further out

into the world without the pain my mind told me that I would be have to feel. Salubrious. ~Em

Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.

[Guest guest]

hi, em!

your experiences continue to parallel my own, including zen and now

EFT, which i've just begun to poke at with a stick.

i always appreciate your open willingness to share.

re EFT, do you do the eye movement routine and the affirmations as

well as the tapping?

peace,

alscomi

>

> << " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my difficulties? " . >>

>

> ***I have spent over half my life asking myself just that

question.

> Only recently have I come to really appreciate that my personal

pain

> is not a cognitive problem and my mind has no business trying

to " fix

> it " . As points out, it is that tug of war and

identification

> with the egoic self that continues to keep us in samsara. Ok,

maybe

> he doesn't use those words ;-)

>

>

> <<Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer way

out

> of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply don't

> wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

exercises.>>

>

> ***Me too! I spent the better part of the last year trying to

FORCE

> myself to be willing. I read the book. And I was left with this

> deep sense of despair … if nothing I have ever done has worked,

and

> Forsye's book confirms that nothing I will ever do in the future

will

> work … AND if I am UNWILLING to just drop the rope (endure the

pain

> and practice exposure exercises until I have an epiphany) …. Then

> what? What's left?

>

> What I like best about the ACT paradigm is that you don't have to

get

> better. You can't " fail " . You can just become aware of what you

are

> doing, begin to watch it with both eyes open. You can say NO to

> life's question and that's OK. But now, when I do this, I know I

am

> saying NO, and I try really hard to do so with more compassion

that I

> have had in the past.

>

> So what about this … what if we accepted that we were unwilling –

AT

> THE MOMENT – to endure the pain and spend the time on the

exercises.

> Put the leaping agenda on hold and just concentrate on the VALUES

> part of the ACT program. What if, we could identify things that

> RIGHT NOW, given the person we are with the personal pain that we

> hold, we really value and enjoy doing. Even on my really bad

days, I

> could usually bake a loaf of bread. In doing the value exercises,

I

> realize that baking bread fulfills several value domains on my

> chart. Instead of making GOALS that involve enduring pain and

> exposure work … why not create goals that you can achieve but that

> are still in line with your life values.

>

> For me recognizing that I am RIGHT NOW warts and all leading an

> awesome life and moving in a direction that is consistent with the

> life I value has changed my entire focus and perspective. Do I

have

> the same physical and emotional personal pains? Probably. If I

sat

> down and made a list of all the things I still " can't " do, I may

not

> be better off than before I picked up the ACT workbook last

winter.

> But the difference now is that I DON'T spend all of my time

thinking

> about my personal pain and my limitations. Entire DAYS can go by

now

> and I won't even mention my illness. That's a big shift.

>

> With the focus now on my values – easy attainable goals – my body-

> mind has been given a rest. I no longer need to re-create my

> disability each day and I get to have a lot more fun doing what I

can

> do … on days I can do it.

>

> <<I'm still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes

> such as Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host

of

> others, including nutritional regimens, and other " energy "

> psychologies.>>

>

> ***I've been an exuberant EFTer since the summertime when I

stumbled

> across this meridian tapping protocol. And like the program says

… I

> try it on everything! I've taught EFT to dozens of co-workers,

> family and friends and I've seen first hand up close the most

> wonderful stories of healing (headaches, heartburn, weight loss,

> smoking cessation, pain reduction and emotional issues.) At first

I

> had that sense of – what gives? – how can I have so much success

in

> working with other people, but not be able to CURE my own personal

> pain with a single well placed tapping point? But you see that

comes

> back around to " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> difficulties? "

>

> So for me, I use EFT as another tool in my ACT defusion resource

> box. While I am not ready to make the big leaps and say I am 100%

> committed to doing X no matter WHAT my body or mind does … I can

say

> that I am committed to going out there and giving it a try and IF

my

> body/mind flare, I am 100% willing to try some EFT tapping BEFORE

I

> answer NO to life's question. And for me … the pattern smashing

that

> the simple interruption of tapping has provided has given the time

to

> really experience what is happening in my body. To notice my

> thoughts in the moment. And more often than not … I can answer

YES,

> and move just a bit further out into the world without the pain my

> mind told me that I would be have to feel.

>

> Salubrious.

> ~Em

>

[Guest guest]

,

If you quit fighting, the future is uncertain.

Giving up is unknown territory. You may do nothing, you may do

something. Your weight might go up, or it might not. You may not get

all the important stuff done or maybe you will. Hard to say what will

happen. For that matter the future is uncertain if you keep fighting.

But the idea is startlingly simple: Whatever the circumstances of

your life, the choice to surrender is always there.

Who knows what will happen? You may turn into a vegetable, be

abandoned by all your family and friends and get stuck with all of

your problems forever. Maybe.

Come what may, when you surrender you can be certain of exactly one

thing -- the struggle is over.

Maybe that's enough.

> > >

> > > Hi, All

> > > Like so many people involved with ACT, I have a long history

> > > of emotional problems, such as anxiety. depression, OCD, and

others.

> > > When I found ACT (in particular " Get Out of Your Mind and

> > Into

> > > Your Life " ), I was overjoyed. Finally, after literally decades

of

> > > therapy, suffering, and searching, I found the answer to a

> > > fundamental question: " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out

of my

> > > difficulties? " . CBT says it can be done, as do many other

schools

> > of

> > > thought, including, of course, my wife, family, and friends.

> > > Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer

> > way

> > > out of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I

simply

> > > don't wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> > > exercises.

> > > I know this sounds nuts (which, clinically, I'm not), but

> > I'm

> > > still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes

such as

> > > Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a host of

> > > others, including nutritional regimens, and other " energy "

> > > psychologies. I truly want the solution handed to me, and I've

> > > learned, the hard way, that alcohol and drugs only exacerbate

my

> > > problems.

> > > So, anyone at all, what's my problem? Is there a less

> > > difficult and time-consuming way out of the trap, as hundreds

of

> > web

> > > sites claim there is, or am I required to apply the effort

that

> > > frightens me so, probable because the outcome is not

" guaranteed " .

> > > I would like to hear from anyone on this, as I find the

> > > situation very distressing.

> > > Regards,

> > > popagator (Don)

> > > rxdpw@

> > >

> >

> > Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

> industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and

> industry-leading spam and email virus protection.

> >

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________

> Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and industry-

leading spam and email virus protection.

>

[Guest guest]

As you can imagine, I do EFT with a tremendous amount of humor! :-)

Most of the time, I do the short cut (top of head, through under the

arm) I don't often tape through the fingers and rarely find the need

to do the eye orientations (which remind me of EMDR -- if I get

really stuck, I may throw them in.)

Most of the " affirmations " I use would be along the lines of ... even

though I am feeling this _________, I choose to let it be easy. " Or

simply " ... I choose to love and accept myself ANYWAY! "

Feeling XYZ and ACCEPTING MYSELF completely in that moment, or

FORGIVING MYSELF feels powerful for me.

~Enjoy the palace of possibilities!

~Em

> >

> > << " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my difficulties? " . >>

> >

> > ***I have spent over half my life asking myself just that

> question.

> > Only recently have I come to really appreciate that my personal

> pain

> > is not a cognitive problem and my mind has no business trying

> to " fix

> > it " . As points out, it is that tug of war and

> identification

> > with the egoic self that continues to keep us in samsara. Ok,

> maybe

> > he doesn't use those words ;-)

> >

> >

> > <<Now, however, as they say in AA, I want an easier, softer way

> out

> > of my problems. Although ACT is right on the money, I simply

don't

> > wish to endure the pain and spend all the time doing the

> exercises.>>

> >

> > ***Me too! I spent the better part of the last year trying to

> FORCE

> > myself to be willing. I read the book. And I was left with this

> > deep sense of despair … if nothing I have ever done has worked,

> and

> > Forsye's book confirms that nothing I will ever do in the future

> will

> > work … AND if I am UNWILLING to just drop the rope (endure the

> pain

> > and practice exposure exercises until I have an epiphany) …. Then

> > what? What's left?

> >

> > What I like best about the ACT paradigm is that you don't have to

> get

> > better. You can't " fail " . You can just become aware of what you

> are

> > doing, begin to watch it with both eyes open. You can say NO to

> > life's question and that's OK. But now, when I do this, I know I

> am

> > saying NO, and I try really hard to do so with more compassion

> that I

> > have had in the past.

> >

> > So what about this … what if we accepted that we were unwilling –

> AT

> > THE MOMENT – to endure the pain and spend the time on the

> exercises.

> > Put the leaping agenda on hold and just concentrate on the VALUES

> > part of the ACT program. What if, we could identify things that

> > RIGHT NOW, given the person we are with the personal pain that we

> > hold, we really value and enjoy doing. Even on my really bad

> days, I

> > could usually bake a loaf of bread. In doing the value

exercises,

> I

> > realize that baking bread fulfills several value domains on my

> > chart. Instead of making GOALS that involve enduring pain and

> > exposure work … why not create goals that you can achieve but

that

> > are still in line with your life values.

> >

> > For me recognizing that I am RIGHT NOW warts and all leading an

> > awesome life and moving in a direction that is consistent with

the

> > life I value has changed my entire focus and perspective. Do I

> have

> > the same physical and emotional personal pains? Probably. If I

> sat

> > down and made a list of all the things I still " can't " do, I may

> not

> > be better off than before I picked up the ACT workbook last

> winter.

> > But the difference now is that I DON'T spend all of my time

> thinking

> > about my personal pain and my limitations. Entire DAYS can go by

> now

> > and I won't even mention my illness. That's a big shift.

> >

> > With the focus now on my values – easy attainable goals – my body-

> > mind has been given a rest. I no longer need to re-create my

> > disability each day and I get to have a lot more fun doing what I

> can

> > do … on days I can do it.

> >

> > <<I'm still seriously looking at miracle, magic-bullet type fixes

> > such as Emotional Freedom Techniques, Be Set Free Fast, and a

host

> of

> > others, including nutritional regimens, and other " energy "

> > psychologies.>>

> >

> > ***I've been an exuberant EFTer since the summertime when I

> stumbled

> > across this meridian tapping protocol. And like the program says

> … I

> > try it on everything! I've taught EFT to dozens of co-workers,

> > family and friends and I've seen first hand up close the most

> > wonderful stories of healing (headaches, heartburn, weight loss,

> > smoking cessation, pain reduction and emotional issues.) At

first

> I

> > had that sense of – what gives? – how can I have so much success

> in

> > working with other people, but not be able to CURE my own

personal

> > pain with a single well placed tapping point? But you see that

> comes

> > back around to " Why can't I simply 'think' myself out of my

> > difficulties? "

> >

> > So for me, I use EFT as another tool in my ACT defusion resource

> > box. While I am not ready to make the big leaps and say I am

100%

> > committed to doing X no matter WHAT my body or mind does … I can

> say

> > that I am committed to going out there and giving it a try and IF

> my

> > body/mind flare, I am 100% willing to try some EFT tapping BEFORE

> I

> > answer NO to life's question. And for me … the pattern smashing

> that

> > the simple interruption of tapping has provided has given the

time

> to

> > really experience what is happening in my body. To notice my

> > thoughts in the moment. And more often than not … I can answer

> YES,

> > and move just a bit further out into the world without the pain

my

> > mind told me that I would be have to feel.

> >

> > Salubrious.

> > ~Em

> >

>