Re: Willingness Dial STUCK!

[Guest guest]

It is OK to say " no " ... it just may have a cost.

So if you are saying " no " then just watch how it works

and keep your eyes open. This experience will not hurt

you -- provided there is no BS-ing yourself; no sugar coating. Really, truly,

how is this working?

The " limit by time and situation " deal is about willingness, not

emotions. The point is that you don't have to go from " no " to " yes

always and everywhere. " You can go to " yes, right here for an hour. "

But you CANNOT go

" yes, as long as it is not the big guns. " You cannot because that is

not a " yes " at all. Better just to call that move what it is: it is a

" no. "

As for how you get to " yes " -- for most of us only through

your pain. Through exhastion. Through your experience of how " no " works.

That is why periods like this are not harmful -- to the contrary they are

the very essence of how most of us get to " yes. " In hindsight many of

us wish we could have gotten to " yes " an easier quicker way. But that thought

and a buck will buy you a dollar coffee.

If you mean in a more formal sense

" how do I do it -- how do I take the leap? " you do it out of your

whole self / a choice / seemingly out of nothing. Your mind can't do

it as all -- this is a leap. So leap. Or not. Just keep your eyes wide

-- this momemt

will not come again just like this.

You are standing at the edge of a cliff with a parachute you've

never used and with wild dogs biting your butt

asking " how and why? " Well if the bites are not enough " why " there is no why.

And if " how " seemingly requires a blue print (e.g., guarantees that

the chute will open) you will experience a lot more bites before you

begin to

look seriously at that " seemingly " word. " But HOW?? " -- bite, bite.

" I CAAAAN'T " -- bite bite. " But HOOOOOOWWW? " -- Hmmm, is it really true that

you don't know or are you just hanging on to the idea that if you wail

enough, sooner or later the dogs will not find your butt a good

equivalent of a chew toy.

Imagine a universe in which the dogs don't care. Now, what do you do?

Shall we jump together and do it 100% -- at this time and in this situation?

- S

Steve , on a boat in VietNam, but still caring and hoping.

Quoting earthmther :

> I remind myself life is not a linear process ? but my mind has me

> convinced I'm losing ground here! On my initial pass through the

> Get Out of Your Mind workbook, I began to get a feel for the power

> of the willingness dial. I have a subtle grasp of the defusion

> techniques and I'm a pro at sitting meditation.

>

> But in some version of going farther and faring worse ? as I began

> to work through the ACT for Anxiety book and it really sunk in that

> all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam ? or maybe it is

> some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been futile ?

> well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

>

> As I began ACT, I was able to look at body sensations (the shaking,

> or waves of sensations that come with a sensitized nervous system)

> and gradually begin to accept these even in awkward moments

> (public.) I even made some progress with my target personal pain

> (heart skipping). I could just " notice " a few skips here and there

> without reacting or taking action. Cool.

>

> But then the big guns came out ? hadn't even seen them for a while.

> Those HUGE electric charges that surge through your system seemingly

> out of the blue. The full on adrenaline response. So here's the

> thing ? the illusion that I can " control " this through breathing,

> relaxation, changing my thoughts etc. Well that's all blown away

> with ACT. I can't control these body sensations. And I can't limit

> them by time or situation ? which seem to be the only conditions you

> can make when you determine your leap (goal.)

>

> So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or where

> it will strike (situation)?. Then how do I move that willingness

> dial again?! It certainly seems I am less willing to set that dial

> at a 10 now than when I had the perceived control that I could avoid

> or de-escalate an attack by doing x,y or z.

>

> Lost in mind alphabet soup no doubt.

> ~Em

>

>

>

>

>

>

----------------------------------------------------------------

This message was sent using IMP, the Internet Messaging Program.

[Guest guest]

EM,

I'm still not out of the woods myself yet - I still do avoidance off

and on, even as my real-life problems get worse. And as you know from

my posts, I have sometimes felt that ACT has led me deeper into the

woods and then left me stuck there without a tour guide.

But there has been a change lately. Certain ACT concepts have begun to

click for me based on my experience, rather than on anything anyone

else has said or written. This has happened precisely *because* I've

been stuck in the middle of these woods. My mind was still into a

control agenda but I didn't know it - now I know it. Pain, defusion,

values - I do these things slightly differently than before. I am doing

certain things I avoided before, but not because I "have to" do them.

The actual path is a very strange one.

So to me it sounds like you are in a good place, a necessary place. If

you hadn't gotten here, you wouldn't be able to see the futility of

control. I like 's point about imagining "a universe in

which the dogs don't care." No one is coming to rescue us. Do we need

to be rescued?

I remind myself life is not a linear process … but my mind has me

convinced I'm losing ground here! On my initial pass through the

Get Out of Your Mind workbook, I began to get a feel for the power

of the willingness dial. I have a subtle grasp of the defusion

techniques and I'm a pro at sitting meditation.

But in some version of going farther and faring worse … as I began

to work through the ACT for Anxiety book and it really sunk in that

all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam – or maybe it is

some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been futile …

well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

As I began ACT, I was able to look at body sensations (the shaking,

or waves of sensations that come with a sensitized nervous system)

and gradually begin to accept these even in awkward moments

(public.) I even made some progress with my target personal pain

(heart skipping). I could just "notice" a few skips here and there

without reacting or taking action. Cool.

But then the big guns came out – hadn't even seen them for a while.

Those HUGE electric charges that surge through your system seemingly

out of the blue. The full on adrenaline response. So here's the

thing … the illusion that I can "control" this through breathing,

relaxation, changing my thoughts etc. Well that's all blown away

with ACT. I can't control these body sensations. And I can't limit

them by time or situation – which seem to be the only conditions you

can make when you determine your leap (goal.)

So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or where

it will strike (situation)…. Then how do I move that willingness

dial again?! It certainly seems I am less willing to set that dial

at a 10 now than when I had the perceived control that I could avoid

or de-escalate an attack by doing x,y or z.

Lost in mind alphabet soup no doubt.

~Em

[Guest guest]

EM,

I had one more thought about your post. You were actually asking a very

specific question:

> So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or where

> it will strike (situation)…. Then how do I move that willingness

> dial again?!

Here again this reminds me of my own situation - I think there is a

parallel, and maybe it will be useful to you if I describe it.

In my case, I have big avoidance issues related to my freelance work - I

won't go into at length, but suffice to say that I habitually work far

fewer hours each day than I should, largely due to fears of failure &

rejection. When it comes to make a commitment in this domain, my usual

protest to myself has been something like the following: " How can I

possibly create a time-limited exposure here to practice willingness,

given that I'm already screwing up at this for 8 hours at a stretch

every day?! "

In other words, my mind is saying that a perfect 8 hour day is what's

required of me. It sounds very persuasive - as do all " reasons " of

whatever stripe or flavor - but it defines the situation so narrowly as

to guarantee willingness is " impossible. " Indeed, this may be the

function of this particular thought, though I have no way of knowing that.

In my case, I am going to do some -style exposure exercises

having to do with pain and values (If you are a member of

ContextualPsychology.org, you can download the relevant PDF at

http://www.contextualpsychology.org/wilson_murrell_2004). I am looking

forward to this as I think he's really on to something.

Also, I am coming to see that " now " is the only time I have - a cliche

but one that begins to make sense on an actionable basis. Even as my

mind worries about " the rest of today " or " tomorrow " or what have you, I

can do work in this living moment. It's not perfect, it's not 100

percent, it's not guaranteed, and I am going to let my mind worry about

that.

Is there a parallel or not? I don't know. Meanwhile I am going back to

work - there's this phone call I want to make.

[Guest guest]

EM,

I really like the title of your thread! I don't have much advice, other

than to pace yourself.

it really sunk in that

all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam – or maybe it is

some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been futile …

well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

Maybe you just need to sit with this a bit and tread lightly, do thought

diffusion around this willingness resistance of sorts that you describe.

"I am having the thought that my previous coping skills were a scam"

"I'm having a feeling of hopelessness".

"I'm having a belief that I'm unwilling to leap".

"I'm having judgment that all my prior seeking was futile".

Hold yourself and your language (self-talk) lightly. What you have attempted

in the past may not have been effective, but hey, you certainly have given

it your all. This may speak to certain values of passion that will reveal

themselves in time.

Rooting for you,

Joanne

earthmther wrote:

I remind myself life is not a linear process … but my mind has me

convinced I'm losing ground here! On my initial pass through the

Get Out of Your Mind workbook, I began to get a feel for the power

of the willingness dial. I have a subtle grasp of the defusion

techniques and I'm a pro at sitting meditation.

But in some version of going farther and faring worse … as I began

to work through the ACT for Anxiety book and it really sunk in that

all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam – or maybe it is

some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been futile …

well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

As I began ACT, I was able to look at body sensations (the shaking,

or waves of sensations that come with a sensitized nervous system)

and gradually begin to accept these even in awkward moments

(public.) I even made some progress with my target personal pain

(heart skipping). I could just "notice" a few skips here and there

without reacting or taking action. Cool.

But then the big guns came out – hadn't even seen them for a while.

Those HUGE electric charges that surge through your system seemingly

out of the blue. The full on adrenaline response. So here's the

thing … the illusion that I can "control" this through breathing,

relaxation, changing my thoughts etc. Well that's all blown away

with ACT. I can't control these body sensations. And I can't limit

them by time or situation – which seem to be the only conditions you

can make when you determine your leap (goal.)

So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or where

it will strike (situation)…. Then how do I move that willingness

dial again?! It certainly seems I am less willing to set that dial

at a 10 now than when I had the perceived control that I could avoid

or de-escalate an attack by doing x,y or z.

Lost in mind alphabet soup no doubt.

~Em

[Guest guest]

em,

again you've captured my own experiences as i use ACT.

one moment (or a string of moments) i have a sense of wellbeing from

a thought of " mission accomplished " only to have some new life

situation ignite the storm of chaotic thoughts that shatter the

bliss...out of the blue, out of my control as to where, when, or how

powerful.

at these times i follow joanne's suggestions of using: " i'm having a

thought/feeling that... " while i observe that all the " stuff " is

just thoughts...as you said, " a jumble of alphabet soup " .

i watch, i wait, i stay with " it " knowing that ACT's approach will

help me to defuse...sometimes in an instant, most times longer.

doing zazen helps.

thanks for your continued openess to sharing.

keep it up.

peace,

alscomi

>

> I remind myself life is not a linear process … but my mind has me

> convinced I'm losing ground here! On my initial pass through the

> Get Out of Your Mind workbook, I began to get a feel for the power

> of the willingness dial. I have a subtle grasp of the defusion

> techniques and I'm a pro at sitting meditation.

>

> But in some version of going farther and faring worse … as I began

> to work through the ACT for Anxiety book and it really sunk in

that

> all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam – or maybe it is

> some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been futile …

> well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

>

> As I began ACT, I was able to look at body sensations (the

shaking,

> or waves of sensations that come with a sensitized nervous system)

> and gradually begin to accept these even in awkward moments

> (public.) I even made some progress with my target personal pain

> (heart skipping). I could just " notice " a few skips here and

there

> without reacting or taking action. Cool.

>

> But then the big guns came out – hadn't even seen them for a

while.

> Those HUGE electric charges that surge through your system

seemingly

> out of the blue. The full on adrenaline response. So here's the

> thing … the illusion that I can " control " this through breathing,

> relaxation, changing my thoughts etc. Well that's all blown away

> with ACT. I can't control these body sensations. And I can't

limit

> them by time or situation – which seem to be the only conditions

you

> can make when you determine your leap (goal.)

>

> So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or

where

> it will strike (situation)…. Then how do I move that willingness

> dial again?! It certainly seems I am less willing to set that

dial

> at a 10 now than when I had the perceived control that I could

avoid

> or de-escalate an attack by doing x,y or z.

>

> Lost in mind alphabet soup no doubt.

> ~Em

>

[Guest guest]

A thousand thank yous. Somehow it feels like I have been fumbling

around in the dark I and just now realized there is a light switch

here in the room. Not that I've turned it on ... but there is a felt

sense that it does exist.

I'm really putting my heart around the concept of not needing to be

resuced here in the woods UT, many thanks. And I'm all over that

eight hour dogma.

Speaking of dogs ...the image of me standing there with this

backpack that I hope contains a parachute and those bitches biting

my backside is wonderfully vivid and filled with possibility. I was

really hoping for dog biscuits inside that backpack -- gosh please

throw me a bone! But I get it ... and I was a little more

compassionate with myself today when I noticed I was searching for

doggie treats. And when I did say NO I kept my eyes wide open and

watched exactly what I was doing in the moment instead of dissolving

into mind-made misery.

I even found some sheets of paper to leap from today that were in

line with my valued domains.

Deep breath.

I am so grateful to share the journey with such amazing fellow

travelers.

~Em

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

EM--I'm so glad you found some breathing room with this! What a great topic

that I'm sure we can all relate to.

O.K. So now I'm a bit frustrated as I'm really wanting to get this cliff

and dogs metaphor of Steve's and I want to make sure I'm reading it right--especially

the last few sentences. I really relate to my minds' belief that I MUST know

the HOW and WHY and the "I CAAAN'T: Boy, does this nonsense stop me dead

in my tracks far too often. And I get the dogs are a stand in for my mind's

imaginary battle, right?

But can someone elaborate for me what your take is?

I have two questions in particular:

- Hmmm, is it really true that

you don't know

1. Is the implication here that I somewhere inside

I do in fact know?

or are you just hanging on to the idea that if you

wail

enough, sooner or later the

dogs will not find your butt a good

equivalent of a chew toy.

Imagine a universe in which the dogs don't care. Now, what do you do?

2. Is the implication here

that if there wasn't a perceived internal battle of 'can't/can', 'won't/will',

I'd be in essence "dropping the rope"? That I'd then become the free chooser

and likely (or ideally) go for the jump?

Thanks in advance!

Joanne

Quoting earthmther <earthmthergmail>:

> I remind myself life is not a linear process ? but my mind has me

> convinced I'm losing ground here! On my initial pass through the

> Get Out of Your Mind workbook, I began to get a feel for the power

> of the willingness dial. I have a subtle grasp of the defusion

> techniques and I'm a pro at sitting meditation.

>

> But in some version of going farther and faring worse ? as I began

> to work through the ACT for Anxiety book and it really sunk in that

> all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam ? or maybe it is

> some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been futile ?

> well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

>

> As I began ACT, I was able to look at body sensations (the shaking,

> or waves of sensations that come with a sensitized nervous system)

> and gradually begin to accept these even in awkward moments

> (public.) I even made some progress with my target personal pain

> (heart skipping). I could just "notice" a few skips here and there

> without reacting or taking action. Cool.

>

> But then the big guns came out ? hadn't even seen them for a while.

> Those HUGE electric charges that surge through your system seemingly

> out of the blue. The full on adrenaline response. So here's the

> thing ? the illusion that I can "control" this through breathing,

> relaxation, changing my thoughts etc. Well that's all blown away

> with ACT. I can't control these body sensations. And I can't limit

> them by time or situation ? which seem to be the only conditions you

> can make when you determine your leap (goal.)

>

> So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or where

> it will strike (situation)?

.. Then how do I move that willingness

> dial again?! It certainly seems I am less willing to set that dial

> at a 10 now than when I had the perceived control that I could avoid

> or de-escalate an attack by doing x,y or z.

>

> Lost in mind alphabet soup no doubt.

> ~Em

hayes@... wrote:

It is OK to say "no" ... it just may have a cost.

So if you are saying "no" then just watch how it works

and keep your eyes open. This experience will not hurt

you -- provided there is no BS-ing yourself; no sugar coating. Really, truly,

how is this working?

The "limit by time and situation" deal is about willingness, not

emotions. The point is that you don't have to go from "no" to "yes

always and everywhere." You can go to "yes, right here for an hour."

But you CANNOT go

"yes, as long as it is not the big guns." You cannot because that is

not a "yes" at all. Better just to call that move what it is: it is a

"no."

As for how you get to "yes" -- for most of us only through

your pain. Through exhastion. Through your experience of how "no" works.

That is why periods like this are not harmful -- to the contrary they are

the very essence of how most of us get to "yes." In hindsight many of

us wish we could have gotten to "yes" an easier quicker way. But that thought

and a buck will buy you a dollar coffee.

If you mean in a more formal sense

"how do I do it -- how do I take the leap?" you do it out of your

whole self / a choice / seemingly out of nothing. Your mind can't do

it as all -- this is a leap. So leap. Or not. Just keep your eyes wide

-- this momemt

will not come again just like this.

You are standing at the edge of a cliff with a parachute you've

never used and with wild dogs biting your butt

asking "how and why?" Well if the bites are not enough "why" there is no

why.

And if "how" seemingly requires a blue print (e.g., guarantees that

the chute will open) you will experience a lot more bites before you

begin to

look seriously at that "seemingly" word. "But HOW??" -- bite, bite.

"I CAAAAN'T" -- bite bite. "But HOOOOOOWWW?" -- Hmmm, is it really true

that

you don't know or are you just hanging on to the idea that if you wail

enough, sooner or later the dogs will not find your butt a good

equivalent of a chew toy.

Imagine a universe in which the dogs don't care. Now, what do you do?

Shall we jump together and do it 100% -- at this time and in this situation?

- S

Steve , on a boat in VietNam, but still caring and hoping.

Quoting earthmther <earthmthergmail>:

> I remind myself life is not a linear process ? but my mind has me

> convinced I'm losing ground here! On my initial pass through the

> Get Out of Your Mind workbook, I began to get a feel for the power

> of the willingness dial. I have a subtle grasp of the defusion

> techniques and I'm a pro at sitting meditation.

>

> But in some version of going farther and faring worse ? as I began

> to work through the ACT for Anxiety book and it really sunk in that

> all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam ? or maybe it is

> some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been futile ?

> well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

>

> As I began ACT, I was able to look at body sensations (the shaking,

> or waves of sensations that come with a sensitized nervous system)

> and gradually begin to accept these even in awkward moments

> (public.) I even made some progress with my target personal pain

> (heart skipping). I could just "notice" a few skips here and there

> without reacting or taking action. Cool.

>

> But then the big guns came out ? hadn't even seen them for a while.

> Those HUGE electric charges that surge through your system seemingly

> out of the blue. The full on adrenaline response. So here's the

> thing ? the illusion that I can "control" this through breathing,

> relaxation, changing my thoughts etc. Well that's all blown away

> with ACT. I can't control these body sensations. And I can't limit

> them by time or situation ? which seem to be the only conditions you

> can make when you determine your leap (goal.)

>

> So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or where

> it will strike (situation)?. Then how do I move that willingness

> dial again?! It certainly seems I am less willing to set that dial

> at a 10 now than when I had the perceived control that I could avoid

> or de-escalate an attack by doing x,y or z.

>

> Lost in mind alphabet soup no doubt.

> ~Em

>

>

>

>

>

>

----------------------------------------------------------

This message was sent using IMP, the Internet Messaging Program.

[Guest guest]

I am bit confused on the last sentence also. I don't think the dog's

represent the imaginary battle ( I don't think the battle is

imaginary at all ) I think the dogs represent the thoughts, feelings,

emotions.

If that is the case then I don't think the dogs care in this

universe. So the last sentence is confusing.

Anybody else have an idea?

Greg P

>

> > It is OK to say " no " ... it just may have a cost.

> > So if you are saying " no " then just watch how it works

> > and keep your eyes open. This experience will not hurt

> > you -- provided there is no BS-ing yourself; no sugar coating.

Really,

> > truly,

> > how is this working?

> >

> > The " limit by time and situation " deal is about willingness, not

> > emotions. The point is that you don't have to go from " no " to " yes

> > always and everywhere. " You can go to " yes, right here for an

hour. "

> > But you CANNOT go

> > " yes, as long as it is not the big guns. " You cannot because that

is

> > not a " yes " at all. Better just to call that move what it is: it

is a

> > " no. "

> >

> > As for how you get to " yes " -- for most of us only through

> > your pain. Through exhastion. Through your experience of how " no "

works.

> > That is why periods like this are not harmful -- to the contrary

they are

> > the very essence of how most of us get to " yes. " In hindsight

many of

> > us wish we could have gotten to " yes " an easier quicker way. But

that

> > thought

> > and a buck will buy you a dollar coffee.

> >

> > If you mean in a more formal sense

> > " how do I do it -- how do I take the leap? " you do it out of your

> > whole self / a choice / seemingly out of nothing. Your mind can't

do

> > it as all -- this is a leap. So leap. Or not. Just keep your eyes

wide

> > -- this momemt

> > will not come again just like this.

> >

> > You are standing at the edge of a cliff with a parachute you've

> > never used and with wild dogs biting your butt

> > asking " how and why? " Well if the bites are not enough " why "

there is

> > no why.

> > And if " how " seemingly requires a blue print (e.g., guarantees

that

> > the chute will open) you will experience a lot more bites before

you

> > begin to

> > look seriously at that " seemingly " word. " But HOW?? " -- bite,

bite.

> > " I CAAAAN'T " -- bite bite. " But HOOOOOOWWW? " -- Hmmm, is it

really

> > true that

> > you don't know or are you just hanging on to the idea that if you

wail

> > enough, sooner or later the dogs will not find your butt a good

> > equivalent of a chew toy.

> >

> > Imagine a universe in which the dogs don't care. Now, what do you

do?

> >

> > Shall we jump together and do it 100% -- at this time and in this

> > situation?

> >

> > - S

> >

> > Steve , on a boat in VietNam, but still caring and hoping.

> >

> > Quoting earthmther <earthmther@... <mailto:earthmther%

40gmail.com>>:

> >

> > > I remind myself life is not a linear process ? but my mind has

me

> > > convinced I'm losing ground here! On my initial pass through the

> > > Get Out of Your Mind workbook, I began to get a feel for the

power

> > > of the willingness dial. I have a subtle grasp of the defusion

> > > techniques and I'm a pro at sitting meditation.

> > >

> > > But in some version of going farther and faring worse ? as I

began

> > > to work through the ACT for Anxiety book and it really sunk in

that

> > > all of my previous coping mechanisms were a scam ? or maybe it

is

> > > some version of all of my seeking for a way OUT has been

futile ?

> > > well, I'm kind of feeling hopeless and UNWILLING to leap.

> > >

> > > As I began ACT, I was able to look at body sensations (the

shaking,

> > > or waves of sensations that come with a sensitized nervous

system)

> > > and gradually begin to accept these even in awkward moments

> > > (public.) I even made some progress with my target personal pain

> > > (heart skipping). I could just " notice " a few skips here and

there

> > > without reacting or taking action. Cool.

> > >

> > > But then the big guns came out ? hadn't even seen them for a

while.

> > > Those HUGE electric charges that surge through your system

seemingly

> > > out of the blue. The full on adrenaline response. So here's the

> > > thing ? the illusion that I can " control " this through

breathing,

> > > relaxation, changing my thoughts etc. Well that's all blown away

> > > with ACT. I can't control these body sensations. And I can't

limit

> > > them by time or situation ? which seem to be the only

conditions you

> > > can make when you determine your leap (goal.)

> > >

> > > So if I can't control how long the flash will last (time), or

where

> > > it will strike (situation)?. Then how do I move that willingness

> > > dial again?! It certainly seems I am less willing to set that

dial

> > > at a 10 now than when I had the perceived control that I could

avoid

> > > or de-escalate an attack by doing x,y or z.

> > >

> > > Lost in mind alphabet soup no doubt.

> > > ~Em

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> > ----------------------------------------------------------

> > This message was sent using IMP, the Internet Messaging Program.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'll take a stab at it since I'm knee deep in dog-doo anyway ...

> > - Hmmm, is it really true that you don't know > > 1. Is the implication here that I somewhere inside I do in fact know?**Certainly not somewhere deep inside your MIND. That's been the problem all along eh? For me it's an easy one ... I know that I should keep driving the bus instead of stopping and attending to all of the unruly passengers. But your mileage may vary.

> or are you just hanging on to the idea that if you wail enough, sooner or later the dogs will not find your butt a good equivalent of a chew toy. Imagine a universe in which the dogs don't care. Now, what do you do?

> 2. Is the implication here that if there wasn't a perceived internal battle of 'can't/can', 'won't/will', I'd be in essence "dropping the rope"? That I'd then become the free chooser and likely (or ideally) go for the jump?

Maybe this is like the question GregP is asking

"I think the dogs represent the thoughts, feelings, emotions. If that is the case then I don't think the dogs care in this universe. So the last sentence is confusing."

Perhaps to imagine a universe where the dogs don't care is to imagine ourself at "board level" in the chess metaphore. We can be the players on the board and continue to judge, fight and try to "win" or we can be the board.

I added a few sheets of paper to the stack I leaped from today. What I need to remember to do is PRACTICE daily. I tend to accomplish a goal and then assume, there I did it once (or twice) -- I really don't need to KEEP jumping off this cliff -- do I? Well since life doesn't take place on the precipice and I'm just catching fleas standing at the edge ... yep it looks like I have to keep leaping every day.

~Em