Re: Not doing what needs to be done.....

[Guest guest]

" Its almost like there is two

> me,s ,one me who loves it and can,t wait to get in to it, and

another me

> (who is much more powerful)who is doing everyrthing possible to

stop me

> moving forward.If this sounds mad i apologise but it is how it

> feels.

Dawn do you realize that according to ACT there are two of you?

There is YOU, the one that wants to read the book, and your mind.

Mind's hate this stuff, so it naturally will fight like crazy to not

let you read it.

The big question is, can YOU read the book and let your mind do

everything it can to stop you, and then keep reading. Let all the

thoughts, feelings, etc... storm and just keep on reading.

Can you make the committement to just read a few pages a day? Even if

you " go into a trance like state and day dream wasting your valuable

time " ? If that is what it takes, why not. You are not in a race,

there is no time limit on this. Even if your mind tells you there is.

If you think you are missing something you can always reread it

later. You are in control not your mind. Finish the book a show the

mind that it is welcome to come along for the ride, but this is your

life, and you decide what you are going to do.

Greg

[Guest guest]

Hi Greg that is a great observation , how did i miss it?I suffer with

claustrophobia and have successfully stayed on the tube in the city

using this method of accepting the panicky feelings, not trying to

change them or tell myself " i can stand this feeling " , just let them

be.Iwill now do the same with my minds distracting thoughts, i see

now where i have been going wrong by engaging in a battle of wills.

Thanks again for your help, Dawn. PS if i listened to my mind i would

never have posted my question!

>

> " Its almost like there is two

> > me,s ,one me who loves it and can,t wait to get in to it, and

> another me

> > (who is much more powerful)who is doing everyrthing possible to

> stop me

> > moving forward.If this sounds mad i apologise but it is how it

> > feels.

>

> Dawn do you realize that according to ACT there are two of you?

>

> There is YOU, the one that wants to read the book, and your mind.

> Mind's hate this stuff, so it naturally will fight like crazy to

not

> let you read it.

>

> The big question is, can YOU read the book and let your mind do

> everything it can to stop you, and then keep reading. Let all the

> thoughts, feelings, etc... storm and just keep on reading.

>

> Can you make the committement to just read a few pages a day? Even

if

> you " go into a trance like state and day dream wasting your

valuable

> time " ? If that is what it takes, why not. You are not in a race,

> there is no time limit on this. Even if your mind tells you there

is.

>

> If you think you are missing something you can always reread it

> later. You are in control not your mind. Finish the book a show the

> mind that it is welcome to come along for the ride, but this is

your

> life, and you decide what you are going to do.

>

> Greg

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Greg, just one more question, why do minds hate this stuff?, is it

because they can sense that exposure means end of control as int he

above example?

- In ACT_for_the_Public , " gregpeery "

wrote:

>

> " Its almost like there is two

> > me,s ,one me who loves it and can,t wait to get in to it, and

> another me

> > (who is much more powerful)who is doing everyrthing possible to

> stop me

> > moving forward.If this sounds mad i apologise but it is how it

> > feels.

>

> Dawn do you realize that according to ACT there are two of you?

>

> There is YOU, the one that wants to read the book, and your mind.

> Mind's hate this stuff, so it naturally will fight like crazy to

not

> let you read it.

>

> The big question is, can YOU read the book and let your mind do

> everything it can to stop you, and then keep reading. Let all the

> thoughts, feelings, etc... storm and just keep on reading.

>

> Can you make the committement to just read a few pages a day? Even

if

> you " go into a trance like state and day dream wasting your

valuable

> time " ? If that is what it takes, why not. You are not in a race,

> there is no time limit on this. Even if your mind tells you there

is.

>

> If you think you are missing something you can always reread it

> later. You are in control not your mind. Finish the book a show the

> mind that it is welcome to come along for the ride, but this is

your

> life, and you decide what you are going to do.

>

> Greg

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, the mind has been in control for so long that when we decide to

take our lives back it starts telling you things, like this is too

hard, this won't work, just let me handle things. You know what that

is fine, that is the minds job. It is designed to keep us safe, or

what it thinks is safe. If it had it's way we would all be curled up

in a little ball away from everything, wrapped up in 4 feet of foam,

so we won't get hurt. Just remember not to hate your mind, afterall

it is doing a wonderful job of doing what is was designed for. But is

only a tool, and we need to learn to use the tool and not let it use

us.

And for heavens sake don't hate the tool for doing it's job. If you

were using a hammer and you were having a hard time hitting the nail

on the head, would you hate the hammer? No, you should realize that

it just takes practice to learn how it should be used, just like

every other tool.

Greg

> >

> > " Its almost like there is two

> > > me,s ,one me who loves it and can,t wait to get in to it, and

> > another me

> > > (who is much more powerful)who is doing everyrthing possible to

> > stop me

> > > moving forward.If this sounds mad i apologise but it is how it

> > > feels.

> >

> > Dawn do you realize that according to ACT there are two of you?

> >

> > There is YOU, the one that wants to read the book, and your mind.

> > Mind's hate this stuff, so it naturally will fight like crazy to

> not

> > let you read it.

> >

> > The big question is, can YOU read the book and let your mind do

> > everything it can to stop you, and then keep reading. Let all the

> > thoughts, feelings, etc... storm and just keep on reading.

> >

> > Can you make the committement to just read a few pages a day?

Even

> if

> > you " go into a trance like state and day dream wasting your

> valuable

> > time " ? If that is what it takes, why not. You are not in a race,

> > there is no time limit on this. Even if your mind tells you there

> is.

> >

> > If you think you are missing something you can always reread it

> > later. You are in control not your mind. Finish the book a show

the

> > mind that it is welcome to come along for the ride, but this is

> your

> > life, and you decide what you are going to do.

> >

> > Greg

> >

>

[Guest guest]

> Anyway if anyone has any tips, suggestions to get me re started

> it woukld be greatly appreciated.I have mostly not done the excercises

> and have followed a previous post suggesting reading through once and

> then beginning again working through methodically, thanks for

> reading,Dawn.

>

Hi Dawn

welcome to the group

I would suggest that you go back to the beginning of the book, and

start doing all the exercises. It wont matter how fast you do this,

just use a different bookmark from the one you are using to read ahead.

Personally, I dont like to write in the book, so I also have sheets

and sheets of a4 paper that I have written the answers on (with

annotated page numbers so I can go back if I want - for example I

recently went back to the chapter on defusion and worked all the way

through that again, and I did look to see if my answers were very

different second time around) I keep these in the front of the book.

Yes! my copy looks pretty messy with all these extra pages, the

bookmark where I am 'really' working, the bookmark where I have read

ahead to, and another bookmark for where I have re-read without doing

the exercises again.

At the moment I am leaving the book on the desk with nothing else

piled on top of it to encourage and remind me to just pick it up, but

whatever works for you!

I did try skipping ahead and working through the values chapter, on my

therapists advice, but I just kept saying things like I dont have any

values, there isnt anything I value enough to want to do, and stayed

in avoidance. He then changed tack and suggested going back to where I

was originally. So on that basis I would advise pretty much working

through the book in the order its given.

I think if you can start doing the exercises, you will find you will

engage more with the material, and be able to make more progress

J

[Guest guest]

Hi J, thanks for the tips, i particularly liked the one about leaving

the book out, i think my mind has been hiding mine in the bottom

drawer!.

You mentioned you are seeing a therapist, do you mind me asking if

this is a ACT therapist, and if so has it made a difference, rather

than going it alone with the book?

Thanks, Dawn.

--

- In ACT_for_the_Public , " marginal_thought "

wrote:

>

> > Anyway if anyone has any tips, suggestions to get me re started

> > it woukld be greatly appreciated.I have mostly not done the

excercises

> > and have followed a previous post suggesting reading through once

and

> > then beginning again working through methodically, thanks for

> > reading,Dawn.

> >

>

>

> Hi Dawn

>

> welcome to the group

>

> I would suggest that you go back to the beginning of the book, and

> start doing all the exercises. It wont matter how fast you do this,

> just use a different bookmark from the one you are using to read

ahead.

>

> Personally, I dont like to write in the book, so I also have sheets

> and sheets of a4 paper that I have written the answers on (with

> annotated page numbers so I can go back if I want - for example I

> recently went back to the chapter on defusion and worked all the way

> through that again, and I did look to see if my answers were very

> different second time around) I keep these in the front of the book.

> Yes! my copy looks pretty messy with all these extra pages, the

> bookmark where I am 'really' working, the bookmark where I have read

> ahead to, and another bookmark for where I have re-read without

doing

> the exercises again.

>

> At the moment I am leaving the book on the desk with nothing else

> piled on top of it to encourage and remind me to just pick it up,

but

> whatever works for you!

>

> I did try skipping ahead and working through the values chapter, on

my

> therapists advice, but I just kept saying things like I dont have

any

> values, there isnt anything I value enough to want to do, and stayed

> in avoidance. He then changed tack and suggested going back to

where I

> was originally. So on that basis I would advise pretty much working

> through the book in the order its given.

>

>

> I think if you can start doing the exercises, you will find you will

> engage more with the material, and be able to make more progress

>

> J

>

[Guest guest]

i'm new to ACT (up to page 75 in the 'book') and would like to throw

my oar into the discourse about there being two 'somethings'

involved as in greg's 'you' and 'your mind'.

over the years of my tiptoe through the tulips, i've come to the

conclusion that there is a third character in the play of our lives

that is the chooser between the other two.

'who/what' is it that 'knows' of both 'you' and 'your mind'?

between 'read' or 'don't read', 'who/what' is it that 'knows' both

and makes the choice?

my zen teacher is forever asking me the koan: 'who' is it that knows?

when i am feeling depressed, 'that' which knows that i'm depressed

is not depressed.

when i am 'connected' to this 'knower', it is like sitting in a

theater watching 'me' play out my life on the screen...ala some

woody allen movie.

i remember a paper by steve in which he offered an experiential

exercise to connect with our 'observer' who is there in our life

from our childhood on.

respectfully,

alscomi

> >

> > " Its almost like there is two

> > > me,s ,one me who loves it and can,t wait to get in to it, and

> > another me

> > > (who is much more powerful)who is doing everyrthing possible

to

> > stop me

> > > moving forward.If this sounds mad i apologise but it is how it

> > > feels.

> >

> > Dawn do you realize that according to ACT there are two of you?

> >

> > There is YOU, the one that wants to read the book, and your

mind.

> > Mind's hate this stuff, so it naturally will fight like crazy to

> not

> > let you read it.

> >

> > The big question is, can YOU read the book and let your mind do

> > everything it can to stop you, and then keep reading. Let all

the

> > thoughts, feelings, etc... storm and just keep on reading.

> >

> > Can you make the committement to just read a few pages a day?

Even

> if

> > you " go into a trance like state and day dream wasting your

> valuable

> > time " ? If that is what it takes, why not. You are not in a race,

> > there is no time limit on this. Even if your mind tells you

there

> is.

> >

> > If you think you are missing something you can always reread it

> > later. You are in control not your mind. Finish the book a show

the

> > mind that it is welcome to come along for the ride, but this is

> your

> > life, and you decide what you are going to do.

> >

> > Greg

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

I am in the UK and seeing one of the ACT therapists listed on the website

http://www.contextualpsychology.org/

He has been doing some ACT work with me even before the workbook was

out (as he had done training courses and got the reference books for

professionals etc). Mostly I am working through the book on my own at

my own pace, he doesnt tell me to do the next chapter by the next time

I see him or anything like that. Occasionally I am discussing problems

I have with him - for example I got stuck on the mindfully eating a

raisin exercise. I dont like raisins, should I go and buy some just to

eat for the book? I have done this exercise before, would that count

or do I need to do it again rather than start skipping things?

He said that it was just an exercise in eating something mindfully!

J

>

> You mentioned you are seeing a therapist, do you mind me asking if

> this is a ACT therapist, and if so has it made a difference, rather

> than going it alone with the book?

>

> Thanks, Dawn.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi thanks for the information, i,ll check out thew web site.

ACT_for_the_Public , " marginal_thought "

wrote:

>

> Hi Dawn,

>

> I am in the UK and seeing one of the ACT therapists listed on the

website

> http://www.contextualpsychology.org/

> He has been doing some ACT work with me even before the workbook was

> out (as he had done training courses and got the reference books for

> professionals etc). Mostly I am working through the book on my own

at

> my own pace, he doesnt tell me to do the next chapter by the next

time

> I see him or anything like that. Occasionally I am discussing

problems

> I have with him - for example I got stuck on the mindfully eating a

> raisin exercise. I dont like raisins, should I go and buy some just

to

> eat for the book? I have done this exercise before, would that count

> or do I need to do it again rather than start skipping things?

> He said that it was just an exercise in eating something mindfully!

>

> J

>

> >

> > You mentioned you are seeing a therapist, do you mind me asking

if

> > this is a ACT therapist, and if so has it made a difference,

rather

> > than going it alone with the book?

> >

> > Thanks, Dawn.

> >

>