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Re: Observations

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Is describing AS? Some things mentioned are not but an NT wouldn't know

it's the opposite.

" I think his Aspie score was like 85. " that is a pretty good measure,

with plenty of NT getting above 85, so I'd look hard at alternative

explanations. Few diagnosed AS will get below 130.

Are are key items you have not mentioned.

I [proof read, wouldn't not....arghh meant to say] would not raise it

with him but wonder about childhood abuse. Raising it might be very

destructive on someone fragile, if true needs seriously professional

advice. Youngest of eight is suggestive, probably no surprise he keeps

low profile. On the other hand the age of the parents tends to push

things the other way, probably though only when there is ASD in the

genetics. So go on, how many others might be ASD in the wider family?

Oh and keep in mind that wrongplanet is free access, are plenty there

faking, same many places.

What you are doing is bad form...

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt54335.html

" Here is what I’ve observed:

1. Lack of eye contact – when we first met, there was NO eye contact.

After a day or so, he would occasionally glance at me. Now, after a few

months and a couple more visits, his eye contact is a lot better --

sometimes. Sometimes not. With his friends and family, he usually still

makes little eye contact. With strangers, sometimes none at all.

2. Physically awkward, clumsy.

3. Unless he is really “warmed up,†his face is often a blank. I can’t

tell at all what he’s thinking. "

howlingfarmer wrote:

> For what it's worth, these are the observations that have made me

> think my boyfriend has AS. Actually, while I do believe strongly

> that he is on the spectrum, it wouldn't surpise me if he actually

> wouldn't be " diagnosed " with AS since, as you'll see below, he

> doesn't seem to have some of the hallmark characteristic (although

> I've been told by a couple of people that this isn't necessarily

> inconsistent with AS)

>

> 1. Lack of eye contact – when we first met, there was NO eye

> contact. After a day or so, he would occasionally glance at me.

> Now, after a few months and a couple more visits, his eye contact is

> a lot better -- sometimes. Sometimes not. With his friends and

> family, he usually still makes little eye contact. With strangers,

> sometimes none at all.

>

> 2. Physically awkward, clumsy.

>

> 3. Unless he is really " warmed up, " his face is often a blank.

> I can't tell at all what he's thinking.

>

> 4. When we first met, I couldn't tell if he was listening to me

> or not because I wasn't getting the expected responses, non-verbal,

> mmhmms, etc. But when I brought this up, he clearly had been

> listening, and repeated back everything I'd said! Now, he seems to

> respond more naturally and it's easier to have a more back and forth

> conversation.

>

> 5. When we e-mail, he rarely comments on anything I've written.

> I figured out fairly early on, that if I wanted him to respond to

> something, I needed to phrase it as a question, then he would

> respond. If I bring up something in the emotional realm over e-mail,

> I usually get no response. If I specifically ask for a response, he

> will give one – usually, it will be in the form of encouragement,

> never probing into the situation, or offering insight.

>

> 6. I don't always get the expected social responses. For

> example, my dad came down with cancer. I told my BF about it (over e-

> mail). Almost no response. When I sent a message to the effect

> of " hey, did you get my message, this is a big deal to me etc., " then

> he apologized, and responded by asking how my dad was and telling me

> about his brother, who also had cancer. It's almost like he needs

> to be prompted to give the " right " response.

>

> 7. He takes things literally. Has trouble at work realizing

> statements like " if you hit me with that pallet I'm going to kill

> you " are just a figure of speech. Once was puzzling over the

> expression " you can't have your cake and eat it too. "

>

> 8. History of learning problems. When younger, knew words but

> had problems using them fluently.

>

> 9. Great rote memory. Great memory for details. Has trouble

> seeing the big picture. Has misinterpreted relationship type

> situations in movies.

>

> 10. Face to face conversations less articulate than written

> conversations. This really varies – sometimes he seems to

> really " warm up " and then conversations are pretty fluent.

>

> 11. Telephone calls – the first few minutes, his responses are

> always " yes, " " no " – one syllable answers. Seems to need to " warm

> up. "

>

> 12. He seems to have a hard time " getting it " when I'm talking

> about something involving emotions/relationship issues. Sometimes

> when he responds, I feel like he's shooting a quiver of arrows, and

> some of them are brushing the target, but none of them quite hit it.

>

> 13. Extremely introverted around new people. To the point of not

> saying anything, or making one or two comments during an evening.

> Seems to have a hard time figuring out how to enter/maintain

> conversation with people he doesn't know well. One friend

> commented, " It's like he wants to interact, but he doesn't quite know

> how to do it. "

>

> 14. Was really bullied at school. Also at work.

>

> 15. Has a hard time making friends, but does seem to keep the

> ones he makes. Best friend is from elementary school. No real

> serious romantic relationships before me.

>

> 16. History of having a hard time switching gears, being

> interrupted, although I haven't seen this.

>

> Things that don't seem to fit the AS profile (he was raised as the

> youngest in a family of 9 children, so that may have something to do

> with these traits) –

>

> Enjoys meeting new people and being social (but never says much, if

> anything while we're with them.)

>

> Doesn't seem to have any special interests. Is very interested in

> music. Buys a lot of CDs, listens to music a lot, but doesn't seem

> to talk about it more than anyone else would.

>

> Doesn't have any repetitive behaviors (that I know of).

>

> Not rigid. Is extremely easy going. Extremely reasonable.

>

> Never engages in one-sided monologues.

>

> Only scored in the low " Possibly " range on the Aspie Quiz. I think

> his Aspie score was like 85.

>

> As Bill asked me, if not AS,then what?

>

> PDD-NOS? This might actually be more likely than AS. You know, I've

> been assuming that with PDD-NOS the difficulties are going to be the

> same, but now that I'm thinking about it, maybe not, since he seems

> so easy going (maybe seems is the operative word here...)

>

> Non-verbal Learning Disorder? Does anyone here have any experience

> with NLD? For a while, I thought this was more likely, because of

> his personality. But his parents didn't think he fit the profile

> because he's never been very verbal and, from what I've read, NLD

> kids tend to be very verbal. Also from what I've read, they don't

> tend to really explore their environments when young, and my

> boyfriend was into everything. He also doesn't quite seem to fit the

> cognitive profile for NLD...

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