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HI Helen and Everyone- Not sure you know me, because I think I joined after you took a hiatus from posting- I would love to reply, but want to ask if anyone out there in google-land can just read what I post, first. thanks, Helena Petre wrote: Hello allI have

finally caught up with the posts. I was a regular contributor last year, and found the discussions about sex helpful.I met my partner (he has undiagnosed AS) 15.5 yrs ago. We have been living together for 4.5 yrs. For the first six years we had lots of sex, yes some of it emotionally unconnected. Then he went on a self-development course and decided to go on a sex-fast because of the lack of emotion and because he'd been through that same lack in other relationships. Unfortunately he forgot to tell me about the fast, maybe he assumed (LOL) that it was 'obvious' that I would know. Very confusing. Since that break we have not had regular sex except sometimes on holiday. It's getting on for 10 years now. I do feel frustrated at times, but am not going to have affairs. What I learned from the discussions last year was that, if a regular sex pattern is disrupted for an AS guy (say, because of pregnancy, illness or other abstinence) then the pattern can be

hard to resume. I find this to be true.Also, Maxine Aston said at the "wives' convention" (healing of CASSANDRA) that I attended last year that 50% of males with AS prefer to masturbate regularly rather than have sexual intercourse with another human being. If sex is an area of communication, and communication is difficult generally, then why risk even more? Sadly, that seems to be the case in our household: not enough person to person sex. I have thought about counselling for sexual issues, and if I can find a counsellor who also knows about AS, that may be something we can pursue. In the meantime, it irritates me more than anything when I go to the doctor for advice on, say, blood haemoglobin levels, and they start quizzing me about contraception as if it were top of MY list!BTW, it is great to be back; I had forgotten how much I had missed the jokes! Not much laughter out the about AS and autism...HelenaF, NS,

England43 yrs There's *absolutely* no substitute for a good Owner's Manual. For *anything* you do in life.It astonishes me: People will perform their "due diligence" when buying houses, cars, insurance, TVs, ...whatever! But they *refuse* to learn about their own bodies. SEX is fundamental to marriage. *Learning how to do it* -- NO GUESSING, no using the "truths" learned in high-school -- is the sine-qua-non of a good sexual relationship.The suggestion above is a fair start (make a list). But hie yourselves off to a good bookstore and buy a good _Sex Manual_ AND a good

_Marriage Manual_. His and Hers versions (both!), if available. *Both* partners must read both of'em. A Very Good Thing after reading is to *ask each other* questions. And then *respect the answers*.Screwing's easy; anyone can do it. Good Sex requires an education. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~ I agree with Bill, read, read and read.. We can all use help in life skills. Sometimes it can even make a difference. People have been doing this for years. You don't have to have AS to benefit from knowledge in these areas. In my generation, the sex manual was Kama Sutra. Oils, lotions and positions. <wink> -or- there were books on what she or he liked in bed. Anyone remember that? OK, I am dating myself here. Good stuff. lol This is not a new idea. It has been with us for years. Sex for Dummies????? ?? Been there, done it. lol It just gives you ideas to enhance your relationship. I was born in the 50's and my parents had records of Rusty Warren who was a entertainer who spoke out about sex in days when it was considered risky at best. She later went on to speak at colleges for young adults. Now a days the topic has shifted to

include drugs, date rape and abuse. Sad but true. Just me. You know a dream is like a river Ever changin' as it flows And a dreamer's just a vessel That must follow where it goes Trying to learn from what's behind you And never knowing what's in store Makes each day a constant battle Just to stay between the shores.. and I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry Like a bird upon the wind These waters are my sky I'll never reach my destination If I never try So I will sail my vessel 'Til the river runs dry ... Garth Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

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