Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 <<<I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am just too darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my parents acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents will be nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard heart. I got a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these people " because it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> , I did this for 15 years. I kept thinking that every visit would be better that we wouldn't say or do the wrong thing. The last time I was there as I backed out of the driveway, I told my aunt it was like walking on eggshells. How prophetic! I wish I'd severed contact when I first left home when I was 19 - life might have been harder, who knows, but I think that my life would have been better. My children caught on faster than I did - discernment in a child - imagine that! We can wish and dream , but save it for something other than BP nada and whacko fadas. Dreaming and hoping things will change is futile with these kind of people. It only leads us to get hurt more. Some people are obviously able to accept a bad relationship and cope, but it doesn't seem that you and I are part of that group. Here's to us! Hugs, Ilene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 <<<I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am just too darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my parents acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents will be nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard heart. I got a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these people " because it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> , I did this for 15 years. I kept thinking that every visit would be better that we wouldn't say or do the wrong thing. The last time I was there as I backed out of the driveway, I told my aunt it was like walking on eggshells. How prophetic! I wish I'd severed contact when I first left home when I was 19 - life might have been harder, who knows, but I think that my life would have been better. My children caught on faster than I did - discernment in a child - imagine that! We can wish and dream , but save it for something other than BP nada and whacko fadas. Dreaming and hoping things will change is futile with these kind of people. It only leads us to get hurt more. Some people are obviously able to accept a bad relationship and cope, but it doesn't seem that you and I are part of that group. Here's to us! Hugs, Ilene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 In a message dated 4/16/01 1:07:53 PM Pacific Daylight Time, sandy_beaches@... writes: << hope you all had a great holiday. We had a great party, and everything with the " family " went well. However, things were a huge disaster with the BP mom and whacko dad. I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am just too darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my parents acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents will be nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard heart. I got a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these people " because it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . The only way I am going to deal with this situation from now on is consider my parents dead. They are dead to me. I have absolutely no desire to see or hear of them again. There is a point where one has to grow up and handle things for themselves, and I was a fool to think that I could go back. Anyway, as if we didn't know what the end of this story was going to be.... >> , I think no matter how experienced we get handling BPs, it's really hard not to expect anything from your parents - after all they ARE your parents. I keep trying and trying to remind myself that - don't expect ANYTHING from nada. It's the truth but its an ongoing battle to keep myself remembering it and not wishing it were different. sigh. Lissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 My children caught on faster than I did - discernment in a child - imagine that! >We can wish and dream , but save it for something other than BP nada and >whacko >fadas. Dreaming and hoping things will change is futile with these kind of >people. It only leads us to get hurt more. Some people are obviously able >to >accept a bad relationship and cope, but it doesn't seem that you and I are >part >of that group. Here's to us! > >Hugs, >Ilene No, I am definitely not part of that group. I really get nervous when I'm around my parents, and I was a hell of a lot better off when I didn't see them. This was the first time in two years, and when we move.........there is no way I'll be back. I felt the obligation to my " family " , but not anymore. I guess things will be on my terms from now on. *hugs to you* _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Exactly. I think I can deal with it just fine as long as I don't have to see them. Up until this point, I hadn't been free to completely divorce my parents. We were more separated. heheh When I move the papers are signed, BayBee!! Have a great week! >From: mteel62568@... >Reply-To: ModOasis >To: ModOasis >Subject: Re: the trip >Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2001 23:49:03 EDT > >In a message dated 4/16/01 1:07:53 PM Pacific Daylight Time, >sandy_beaches@... writes: > ><< hope you all had a great holiday. We had a great party, and everything > with the " family " went well. However, things were a huge disaster with >the > BP mom and whacko dad. > > I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am just too > darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my parents > acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents will be > nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard heart. I >got > a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these people > " because > it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . > > The only way I am going to deal with this situation from now on is >consider > my parents dead. They are dead to me. I have absolutely no desire to >see > or hear of them again. There is a point where one has to grow up and >handle > things for themselves, and I was a fool to think that I could go back. > > Anyway, as if we didn't know what the end of this story was going to >be.... > >> > >, I think no matter how experienced we get handling BPs, it's >really >hard not to expect anything from your parents - after all they ARE your >parents. I keep trying and trying to remind myself that - don't expect >ANYTHING from nada. It's the truth but its an ongoing battle to keep >myself >remembering it and not wishing it were different. > >sigh. >Lissa _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Hi - We all have the right to want our parents to be good to us. That's not codependent at all. But unfortunately some parents just can't. It is up to you now to protect yourself and your son. If that means no contact, then that's the best thing to do. I haven't talked to my nada for at least six months. I get the urge to pick up the phone every now and then, but it passes. I look back at the progress I've made in this time and I see that it has been worth it to me. I know I'll talk to her again someday, and when I do, I'll be well prepared. > Hi Everybody. > > I hope you all had a great holiday. We had a great party, and everything > with the " family " went well. However, things were a huge disaster with the > BP mom and whacko dad. > > I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am just too > darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my parents > acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents will be > nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard heart. I got > a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these people " because > it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . > > The only way I am going to deal with this situation from now on is consider > my parents dead. They are dead to me. I have absolutely no desire to see > or hear of them again. There is a point where one has to grow up and handle > things for themselves, and I was a fool to think that I could go back. > > Anyway, as if we didn't know what the end of this story was going to be.... > > heheh > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Hi - We all have the right to want our parents to be good to us. That's not codependent at all. But unfortunately some parents just can't. It is up to you now to protect yourself and your son. If that means no contact, then that's the best thing to do. I haven't talked to my nada for at least six months. I get the urge to pick up the phone every now and then, but it passes. I look back at the progress I've made in this time and I see that it has been worth it to me. I know I'll talk to her again someday, and when I do, I'll be well prepared. > Hi Everybody. > > I hope you all had a great holiday. We had a great party, and everything > with the " family " went well. However, things were a huge disaster with the > BP mom and whacko dad. > > I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am just too > darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my parents > acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents will be > nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard heart. I got > a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these people " because > it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . > > The only way I am going to deal with this situation from now on is consider > my parents dead. They are dead to me. I have absolutely no desire to see > or hear of them again. There is a point where one has to grow up and handle > things for themselves, and I was a fool to think that I could go back. > > Anyway, as if we didn't know what the end of this story was going to be.... > > heheh > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Thank you... I have a lot of hope for the future. I knew this moment was coming, and I would have to deal with things that have been left unhandled. Complete the mission, if you will. I appreciate the support and validation. I still go through the moments of wondering if I did the right thing. I know I did, but still...*shrug* It happens. >From: rpicado@... >Reply-To: ModOasis >To: ModOasis >Subject: Re: the trip >Date: Tue, 17 Apr 2001 20:25:01 -0000 > >Hi - > >We all have the right to want our parents to be good to us. That's >not codependent at all. But unfortunately some parents just can't. It >is up to you now to protect yourself and your son. If that means no >contact, then that's the best thing to do. > >I haven't talked to my nada for at least six months. I get the urge >to pick up the phone every now and then, but it passes. I look back >at the progress I've made in this time and I see that it has been >worth it to me. I know I'll talk to her again someday, and when I do, >I'll be well prepared. > > > > > Hi Everybody. > > > > I hope you all had a great holiday. We had a great party, and >everything > > with the " family " went well. However, things were a huge disaster >with the > > BP mom and whacko dad. > > > > I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am >just too > > darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my >parents > > acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents >will be > > nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard >heart. I got > > a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these >people " because > > it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . > > > > The only way I am going to deal with this situation from now on is >consider > > my parents dead. They are dead to me. I have absolutely no desire >to see > > or hear of them again. There is a point where one has to grow up >and handle > > things for themselves, and I was a fool to think that I could go >back. > > > > Anyway, as if we didn't know what the end of this story was going >to be.... > > > > heheh > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com > _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Thank you... I have a lot of hope for the future. I knew this moment was coming, and I would have to deal with things that have been left unhandled. Complete the mission, if you will. I appreciate the support and validation. I still go through the moments of wondering if I did the right thing. I know I did, but still...*shrug* It happens. >From: rpicado@... >Reply-To: ModOasis >To: ModOasis >Subject: Re: the trip >Date: Tue, 17 Apr 2001 20:25:01 -0000 > >Hi - > >We all have the right to want our parents to be good to us. That's >not codependent at all. But unfortunately some parents just can't. It >is up to you now to protect yourself and your son. If that means no >contact, then that's the best thing to do. > >I haven't talked to my nada for at least six months. I get the urge >to pick up the phone every now and then, but it passes. I look back >at the progress I've made in this time and I see that it has been >worth it to me. I know I'll talk to her again someday, and when I do, >I'll be well prepared. > > > > > Hi Everybody. > > > > I hope you all had a great holiday. We had a great party, and >everything > > with the " family " went well. However, things were a huge disaster >with the > > BP mom and whacko dad. > > > > I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am >just too > > darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my >parents > > acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents >will be > > nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard >heart. I got > > a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these >people " because > > it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . > > > > The only way I am going to deal with this situation from now on is >consider > > my parents dead. They are dead to me. I have absolutely no desire >to see > > or hear of them again. There is a point where one has to grow up >and handle > > things for themselves, and I was a fool to think that I could go >back. > > > > Anyway, as if we didn't know what the end of this story was going >to be.... > > > > heheh > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com > _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 Thank you... I have a lot of hope for the future. I knew this moment was coming, and I would have to deal with things that have been left unhandled. Complete the mission, if you will. I appreciate the support and validation. I still go through the moments of wondering if I did the right thing. I know I did, but still...*shrug* It happens. >From: rpicado@... >Reply-To: ModOasis >To: ModOasis >Subject: Re: the trip >Date: Tue, 17 Apr 2001 20:25:01 -0000 > >Hi - > >We all have the right to want our parents to be good to us. That's >not codependent at all. But unfortunately some parents just can't. It >is up to you now to protect yourself and your son. If that means no >contact, then that's the best thing to do. > >I haven't talked to my nada for at least six months. I get the urge >to pick up the phone every now and then, but it passes. I look back >at the progress I've made in this time and I see that it has been >worth it to me. I know I'll talk to her again someday, and when I do, >I'll be well prepared. > > > > > Hi Everybody. > > > > I hope you all had a great holiday. We had a great party, and >everything > > with the " family " went well. However, things were a huge disaster >with the > > BP mom and whacko dad. > > > > I know I shouldn't have expected anything at all. I guess I am >just too > > darn codependent or normal. I actually enjoy the idea of my >parents > > acknowledging my existence. I entertain the idea that my parents >will be > > nice to me and my kids. All I got was a stone face and a hard >heart. I got > > a lot of grief because I wouldn't turn my son over to these >people " because > > it would only be fair " " The other grandparents get to keep him " . > > > > The only way I am going to deal with this situation from now on is >consider > > my parents dead. They are dead to me. I have absolutely no desire >to see > > or hear of them again. There is a point where one has to grow up >and handle > > things for themselves, and I was a fool to think that I could go >back. > > > > Anyway, as if we didn't know what the end of this story was going >to be.... > > > > heheh > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com > _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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