Re: Week Three, Thinking of Bailing

[Guest guest]

It is awful hard, Mike. Only this time, instead of more drug use, you have a far more healthy future to look forward to. How far are you into this? And have you cleared yet? I went through the resentment/anger thing during my treatment too. Nearly drove my dh away, I was getting resentful and ready to give him a smart answer before he even started saying what he wanted to say. Only things that comforted me were my little dogs and I wanted dh to feed and care for them. I was a real live dyed in the wool b...., I'm telling you. I sure hope you can find the where-with-all to keep going, even if it's just one week/shot at a time. Decide after the next shot wears off, not this one.??? Each week brings you closer to the finish line. Sharon in NW WashingtonAll I have seen teaches me to trust in the Creator for all that I have not seen. Ralph Waldo Emerson The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that these side effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs. I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five months plus maybe two to get over it.I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy and stay pretty positive there but find it hard to be that way. Also I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do this.Mike

[Guest guest]

That’s too bad, Mike. I think

you need to speak to your doctor and maybe a therapist. I don’t

recall if you’re on anti-depressants, but perhaps that would make a

difference. If you can life the depression, your energy may return.

The whole tx thing sucks, but this is what

it is and it really is important. It’s also important that you don’t

start/stop/start since it can effect the virus and cause it to mutate into

something that you may never be able to treat successfully………I

know Jackie can explain that part well…………but it’s

important to continue once you start if at all possible.

I’m glad you are giving it

consideration and not just jumping off the wagon…….

Dorothy

From:

Hepatitis_C_Central

[mailto:Hepatitis_C_Central ] On

Behalf Of heethun666

Sent: Saturday, February 16, 2008

8:59 PM

To:

Hepatitis_C_Central

Subject:

Week Three, Thinking of Bailing

The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that

these side

effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs.

I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five

months plus maybe two to get over it.

I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy

and stay pretty positive there but find it hard to be that way. Also

I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even

find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of

resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)

I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do

this.

[Guest guest]

Mike...I don't know if this is even appropriate in this group...and if it's not....I apologize...this is just a poem someone sent me one time when I was struggling .....I just wanted to share it with you.....I have no idea what you're going thru right now.....but I'm sure I will soon enough....I will be starting tx pretty soon.....just know that you're not alone in this.....this group has already given me so much hope and strength already.....it may be a tough road ahead.....but it will be SO worth it in the end....so hang in there....sending you lots of hugs and prayers... Keep Going When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,When the funds are low and the debts are high,And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,When cares are pressing

you down a bit,Rest if you must, but don't you quit.Life is queer with its twists and turns,As every one of us sometimes learns.And many a fellow turns about,When he might have won, had he stuck it out.Don't give up, though the pace seems slow,You may succeed with another blow.Often the goal is nearer thanIt seems to a faint and faltering man;Often the struggler has given up,When he might have captured the victor's cup;And he learned too late when the night came down,How close he was to the golden crown.Success is failure turned inside out,The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.And you never can tell how close you are,It may be near when it seems afar;So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.Addendum -- 1:12 (GNB) "Happy are thosewho remain faithful under trials, because whenthey succeed in passing

such a test, they willreceive as their reward the life which God haspromised to those who love Him." heethun666 wrote: The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that these side effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs. I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five months plus maybe two to get over it.I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy and stay pretty positive there but

find it hard to be that way. Also I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do this.Mike

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

thats beautiful and very appropriate hon! curlytoes45 wrote: Mike...I don't know

if this is even appropriate in this group...and if it's not....I apologize...this is just a poem someone sent me one time when I was struggling .....I just wanted to share it with you.....I have no idea what you're going thru right now.....but I'm sure I will soon enough....I will be starting tx pretty soon.....just know that you're not alone in this.....this group has already given me so much hope and strength already.....it may be a tough road ahead.....but it will be SO worth it in the end....so hang in there....sending you lots of hugs and prayers... Keep Going When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,When the funds are low and the debts are high,And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,When cares are pressing you down a bit,Rest if you must, but

don't you quit.Life is queer with its twists and turns,As every one of us sometimes learns.And many a fellow turns about,When he might have won, had he stuck it out.Don't give up, though the pace seems slow,You may succeed with another blow.Often the goal is nearer thanIt seems to a faint and faltering man;Often the struggler has given up,When he might have captured the victor's cup;And he learned too late when the night came down,How close he was to the golden crown.Success is failure turned inside out,The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.And you never can tell how close you are,It may be near when it seems afar;So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.Addendum -- 1:12 (GNB) "Happy are thosewho remain faithful under trials, because whenthey succeed in passing such a test, they willreceive as their

reward the life which God haspromised to those who love Him." heethun666 <heethun666> wrote: The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that these side effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs. I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five months plus maybe two to get over it.I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy and stay pretty positive there but find it hard to be that way. Also I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do

this.Mike Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Jackie

[Guest guest]

Mike, Have they ran any more blood work yet? If you have the doc tell you that you cleared early on, you will surely get a lift.. You are short term, 6 months, as compared to many who have 11 months minimum, often longer. You also have a really super chance of remaining clear, if you take good care of yourself.. We all need help from time to time, call the doc as soon as you can

and ask for help with those sides... Again, my heart goes out to you over your dog, I know how badly that can eat at you.. Hang in, Mike, I know you can do it and it will be worth it to have beat that dragon! Hugs, Sheena heethun666 wrote: The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that these side effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs. I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five months plus maybe two to get over it.I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy and stay pretty positive there but find it hard to be that way. Also I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do

this.Mike

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[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement, I do very much appreciate it. You are the only folks I can really talk to about this, since everyone else I know is so absorbed in their own lives and really don't appreciate what this is like. I did my first blood work at the two week mark, last Friday, but haven't heard anything about results. I kind of figured that there wouldn't be any word about viral load at this point and figured that if the blood counts were off in any way that was dangerous that I would be contacted (I know,,, that's not a good assumption to make). My viral load at start was three million, not sure how high that is really. I know I have an easier road ahead than many. You guys who have to do a year of this have my deepest respect. Thank you for the poem and word of encouragement everyone. MikeSheena

wrote: Mike, Have they ran any more blood work yet? If you have the doc tell you that you cleared early on, you will surely get a lift.. You are short term, 6 months, as compared to many who have 11 months minimum, often longer. You also have a really super chance of remaining clear, if you take good care of yourself.. We all need help from time to time, call the doc as soon as you can and ask for help with those sides... Again, my heart goes out to you over your dog, I know how badly that can eat at you.. Hang in, Mike, I know you can do it and it will be worth it to have beat that dragon! Hugs, Sheena heethun666 <heethun666> wrote: The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that these side effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs. I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five months plus maybe two to get over it.I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy and stay pretty positive there but find it hard to be that way. Also I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of

resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do this.Mike Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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[Guest guest]

Thanks Jackie. I just have to remember that I feel this way because of something I'm doing to get better, not something I've done to escape reality. It's so much like that cruddy doing without methadone and xanax feeling that it became disconcerting and the children and little dogs just became absolute spawns of Satan in my mind. I know I can make it if I don't freak out too much about how this will effect my job and come here for support as needed. Thanks again, MikeJackie on wrote: IF you quit, you will have wasted all this time on tx and your virus may mutate and move much quicker than had you never started tx.. YOU CAN DO THIS! You must realize that you ARE fighting for your life every bit as much as someone who is fighting cancer or AIDS.. This treatment WONT last forever and when you are done and if you remain SVR, your liver will regenerate unless you have total cirrhosis,, YOU WILL get your life back if you are successful.. It sometimes just helps to remember to take it one day at a time,, just for today you will get by.. you CAN do it.. The moodiness will go away, it wont take 2 months to recover

unless you have more damage from treatment or you become extremly anemic etc... Please, please, reconsider quitting,, you will forever be disappointed and angry with yourself if you do... We will help you, please come here every day and let us help you, ok? jax heethun666 <heethun666> wrote: The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that these side effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs. I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five months plus maybe two to get over it.I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy

and stay pretty positive there but find it hard to be that way. Also I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do this.MikeJackie

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[Guest guest]

i just wanted to let you know ive been feeling the same exact way started at week4 i was on the celexa 20 mg as they recommend a anti depressant and i do see why.......anyways i have been such a bit**. real mean and moody and nasty dreams and no sleep well i told doc they up my celexa to 40 mg and gave me a sleeping pill at night its been 5 days now and im feeling better, just wanted to share with you, pls dont quit,dont give up, you deserve to be clear of this diease , make the right decision, you can do it!!!!!!heethun666 wrote: The reason I'm thinking of stopping treatment is that these side effects feel just like I did for so many years while I was using drugs. I'm sick, tired and depressed and not sure I can deal with another five months plus maybe two to get over it.I'm afraid of how it all appears at work. I usually have so much energy and stay pretty positive there but find it hard to be that way. Also I'm just annoyed by people at home, at work, shopping, wherever. I even find myself getting annoyed at the little schnauzers here (I sort of resent them since I had to give my dog up recently.)I haven't really thought this through but am just doubting I can do this.Mike

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