Re: advice on placement/Jan

[Guest guest]

Jan,

I really appreciate your response. I have been lurking here for a year

and read every message everyday. You are a wonderful, caring woman

and you have done everything within your power to make things better

for your husband, with absolutely no help from his children. Shame on

them! You have been a wonderful role model for me. I do hope this

transition goes smoothly for you. I worry about you and your health.

I see now what a toll caregiving has taken on me in the past year and

I haven't had to deal with anything in comparison to you. Take care

of yourself, Jan. I will be thinking of you in the next few months.

in FL

>

> > Hi all. I cannot thank you all enough for the

> > wisdom you all have

> > passed on during the past year. My husband's

> > grandmother has been

> > living with us for the past 2.5 years. Many ups and

> > downs... she goes

> > throught periods of deep sleep followed by several

> > days of no sleep at

> > all. Her hallucinations are very real to her and

> > almost always

> > terrifying. She has been in rehab for the past 2

> > weeks and prior to

> > that spent a week in the hospital. Many problems

> > but they did put a

> > pacemaker in to help with extremely low pulse. My

> > current delemia is

> > that I have 2 children, 8 and 6 and they have been

> > so happy since

> > " Mimi " has been gone. We are able to do things as a

> > family that we

> > haven't been able to do in over a year. I had no

> > idea that her

> > presence was having such a negative effect on my

> > children. She is in

> > rehab and is not putting forth much effort to get

> > better. She wants

> > to come home and has no idea of the stress and

> > pressure she is

> > creating. She is incontinent and apparently has had

> > a small stroke or

> > TIA that has made her mobility much worse. She now

> > requires a walker

> > or wheelchair along with 2 adults to assist to

> > toliet. She is beyond

> > the point of reason. I know that she would NEVER

> > want to be burden

> > and it would hurt her to realize that my children

> > are not able to have

> > a " normal life. Logically I know that the solution

> > is to leave her in

> > the nursing home. She is well cared for but not

> > happy. OF course she

> > wasn't happy at home either. I just don't know how

> > to over come the

> > guilt. My health is suffering and so are my

> > children. Even my

> > husband, who is admittantly clueless, has remarked

> > that the stress is

> > totally gone from the house now that his grandmother

> > is elsewhere.

> > Any advice on how to come to terms with my emotions?

> > in FL

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

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>

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