Blaming yourself::::Re: Moving beyond SSRI's

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad you said this. My son started showing OCD after a

particular incident. A few experts have told me the incidents aren't

related. I can't see how they can say that. I'll let you judge.

Three years ago, my nephew and his wife had a beautiful baby girl. It

was a joyous event since they had just a year earlier given birth to

(at 20 weeks) and lost three little babies. This part of my family is

a bit of a disaster and constantly finds ways to end up in tragic

situations. So, when the baby girl was about six weeks old, they put

her down for a nap on the floor. Unfortunately, they didn't realize

she was in reach of a plastic bag. You can see where this is going.

She was revived after having been " down " for at least 45 minutes,

probably longer. She was transported to the children's hospital in the

nearest large city (where I live). The family was a wreck. As is the

typical case, I was called in to sit with my nephew and his wife

through the night at the hospital. Though the baby was brain dead,

they persisted in believing she would wake up. At one point, my nephew

even got into a physical fight with a doctor. It was one of the most

difficult situations I've been through...the feeling of helplessness,

of being in reality while watching other people crumble into oblivion.

My husband and kids came to visit me. My son (6 at the time) wanted to

visit his little cousin. A nurse told him, " you'd have to go the ER

and have a test to make sure you're not carrying any germs that could

hurt the sick children. " We elected not to go through the tests. And,

the baby finally died after another two days.

Two weeks later, I noticed that while riding his bike daily during a

beautiful August week, my son would make increasingly frequent trips

to the bathroom. After a few days, I saw that his hands were a little

rough and scratchy. Another day or so later, I found him in the

bathroom scrubbing his hands. I realized he had been making those

frequent trips to scrub his hands. And then I remembered that he'd

been asking a lot of questions about things he'd done and if they'd

hurt his little sister. I knew what was going on and got him into

therapy as quickly as I could.

He's long since gotten over the scrubbing. But, he still thinks about

how he might be hurting someone else. And, he travels through new

versions of compulsions. Questioning. Hoarding. Making deals with God.

Other physical rituals. Of course the disorder waxes and wanes.

Generally, he straddles the line between functional and paralysis.

I realize that the capacity for OCD was already in his genes and his

brain, but I also believe that incident was the trigger that brought

OCD out in the open in our family.

> This is so true. I can't tell you how many times I 'mentally'

revisited

> that day in October 2005 when we were all standing in our neighbor's

yard with

> the ambulance, fire truck, police car all parked outside.... then

seeing our

> good friend brought out on a stretcher hooked up to all sorts of

things.....

> they stopped in the driveway & started giving him CPR... everyone was

> watching, including my dd....

> You see - it was that day that really brought out her OCD.