15 Things Mr. Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping

[Guest guest]

Dear Mrs. Fenton,Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.RE: Mr. Bill Fenton - 15 Things Mr. Fenton has done while his spouse isshopping: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code3' in Housewares...and watched what happened. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M & M's on layaway. 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"And last, but not least.15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"