Re: AS Perfectionism: Curse or Blessing?

[Guest guest]

Perfectionism is more of a curse I think. For me, it mostly appears in my writing: I hate everything I write. My stories never measure up to my standards or to other people's work. This makes it hard to actually get any writing done, and when I do, reviewing and editing is discouraging. I know I can write at least as well as some of the authors I have read, but that doesn't carry over into my writing. I still hate it all.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/24/2006 11:27:42 AM Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes:

I am like that with my writing and my art work, I never feel it is good enough. It matters not to me what others think, it has to be right for me.

Others have told me I write well, but I never see it either. All I see is how it could have been better or how it doesn't quite meet up with current trends, which I think are a little too heavy on description (people are supposed to have imaginations, so I think saying it is a run-down building and giving a little description lets them picture the building as they like, unless of course the set up demands a more detailed description as part of the story).

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/24/2006 11:27:42 AM Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes:

I am like that with my writing and my art work, I never feel it is good enough. It matters not to me what others think, it has to be right for me.

Others have told me I write well, but I never see it either. All I see is how it could have been better or how it doesn't quite meet up with current trends, which I think are a little too heavy on description (people are supposed to have imaginations, so I think saying it is a run-down building and giving a little description lets them picture the building as they like, unless of course the set up demands a more detailed description as part of the story).

[Guest guest]

Re:

> How many Aspies here feel that others tend to slide by on 'good enough

> to pass' while they demand the best of themselves and they insist on

> doing the job right on an ongoing basis?

I feel that way, definitely.

Yours for better letters, Kate Gladstone -

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[Guest guest]

>

> " How many Aspies here feel that others tend to slide by on 'good

enough

> to pass' while they demand the best of themselves and they insist on

> doing the job right on an ongoing basis? I am just trying to figure

> out if I am the impossible perfectionist I have been accused of being

> tonight. "

Something as important as your music demands perfectionism, I would

think. What is it worth if it's just 'okay'? What you say is what I

hear all the ones who have put out great work say.

I am that way with important things, but I do the minimum or slide by

on things I don't think matter--a lot of things in 'their' world fall

into that category. When it comes to helping other people I try to give

my best. I hate that in the job world, workers don't care about people

and won't do their best. I hate to leave a customer, who's depending on

me, hanging. I get stressed because of that, but I would get more

stressed if I left them hanging or had the attitude: I'll get to it

when it's convenient for me. Of course, if people are nasty or abuse

the situation, that's different.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am like that with my writing and my art work, I never feel it is good

enough. It matters not to me what others think, it has to be right for

me.

>

> Perfectionism is more of a curse I think. For me, it mostly appears

in my

> writing: I hate everything I write. My stories never measure up to my

standards

> or to other people's work. This makes it hard to actually get any

writing

> done, and when I do, reviewing and editing is discouraging. I know I

can write

> at least as well as some of the authors I have read, but that

doesn't carry

> over into my writing. I still hate it all.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am like that with my writing and my art work, I never feel it is good

enough. It matters not to me what others think, it has to be right for

me.

>

> Perfectionism is more of a curse I think. For me, it mostly appears

in my

> writing: I hate everything I write. My stories never measure up to my

standards

> or to other people's work. This makes it hard to actually get any

writing

> done, and when I do, reviewing and editing is discouraging. I know I

can write

> at least as well as some of the authors I have read, but that

doesn't carry

> over into my writing. I still hate it all.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I feel the same about my writing.

Fortunately, I paint better than I write, so I never feel discouraged

when I am done painting a canvass.

Tom

Administrator

Perfectionism is more of a curse I think. For me, it mostly appears in

my writing: I hate everything I write. My stories never measure up to

my standards or to other people's work. This makes it hard to actually

get any writing done, and when I do, reviewing and editing is

discouraging. I know I can write at least as well as some of the

authors I have read, but that doesn't carry over into my writing. I

still hate it all.

[Guest guest]

Are you paying his wages? What you say goes. Period, end of story. Now-yes, focus on details. Have learned when to let go til later, and what does not need to happen this second. It's why journal occurs before noon, and why trying to write book as page a day, when schedule allows. Want page written more than when I scribble. Writing, for me, is gift. Do articles for an online mag. Work? OH YES. Finished up two tv series start to finish, glad over. But other stuff written too. Spelling and grammar IMPORTANT, reflects my education and class. Tend to be wordy, so adjust so it sounds as though real person is speaking. English degree helps-psych major English lit minor. like to say I understand people and can communcate effectively. Have to work twice as hard due to AS, and my "editors" and colleagues know. However, hold my own. ravenmagic2003

<ravenmagic2003@...> wrote: How many Aspies here feel that others tend to slide by on 'good enough to pass' while they demand the best of themselves and they insist on doing the job right on an ongoing basis? I am just trying to figure out if I am the impossible perfectionist I have been accused of being tonight.Raven If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com

Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@...

Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min with Messenger with Voice.

[Guest guest]

wrote: " Others have told me I write well, but I never see

it either. All I see is how it could have been better or how it

doesn't quite meet up with current trends, which I think are a

little too heavy on description (people are supposed to have

imaginations, so I think saying it is a run-down building and giving

a little description lets them picture the building as they like,

unless of course the set up demands a more detailed description as

part of the story). "

Here is something that I work hard at instilling in my University

students re: musical composition.

Write for yourself and for no one else.

Understand that when you write, it is all about YOU!

Do not concern yourself with current trends. Trends come and trends

go but who you are as a composer/songwriter/lyricist/writer/et al

will always be who you are. Be true to yourself only.

When you write/compose in this way, then only you know the piece is

truly finished. Once you know in your heart that the piece is

complete, set it free so it may light upon others.

At this point, you must understand that once the listener or reader

picks up what you have written, it is all about THAT PERSON and not

about YOU at all anymore.

Raven