Re: About Death and Depression WAS: Question...

[Guest guest]

And how many of us in this group have either considered or attempted suicide? I'm one. No clear plan, which was a good thing. But after hearing someone at Baptist Union give a talk during college, it scared me. The story was similar to my own. I started telling folks I was suicidal not long after. My parents at that time were part of the problem, in fact most of it. So Mom heard a couple of years after I had left school. Yes, I have my degree-Psych.ravenmagic2003 <ravenmagic2003@...> wrote: I will say though, that there is great comfort in accepting that things are as they are and that there is a reason for everything that happens in life. The trick is to find the lesson and learn from it ... not always an easy thing to accomplish.Instead of righting every wrong or trying to live up to other people's

unreasonable expectations, live life in the moment of now and accept that the only person who needs to be satisfied with that moment is yourself and whoever else you choose to share that moment with in the first place.I am now standing down from my ratty soap box and handing it over to someone -- anyone! -- who undoubtedly knows far more on this subject than I.RavenNick wrote: "The depression and misery will always be there I'm guessing because there is on reason and no blame. One can live their life trying to right every wrong and then get more depressed and in pain."Tom wrote: "Ever since I can remember I've realized I do not fit in in this world and I have wished that I was dead. My sister too."If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@...

Sneak preview the all-new .com. It's not radically different. Just radically better.

[Guest guest]

" Ever since I can remember I've realized I do not fit

in

> in this world and I have wished that I was dead. My sister too. "

This is why I value the Other World, without it I might not be able

to survive reality.

[Guest guest]

Maya wrote: " I'm still not fully recovered though. Too much

stress/pressure because of uni, so I never could take the really

necessary deep long rest I need(ed). But I'll have to, after I

finish university, before I break down again!! "

I have been told (again just recently) that I am a survivor. I have

to be ... I have an almost 11-year-old Aspling that depends on me to

be a survivor. And before this, I suppose I was a survivor because

even in my darkest moments, I used faulty logic to justify NOT

succumbing to depression. I would remind myself that -- my luck

being what it was back then especially -- if I succumbed to

depression, the following morning, undoubtedly a major label would

phone wanting to sign me and then where would I be? Majorly annoyed

with myself as my spirit wandered about, separated from my body.

Maya wrote: " Also I thanked myself for the small things I did,

instead of demanding large (impossible) things at the time. It gave

me perspective, slow but steady forward movement. And after a while

the energy came back more and more ... "

In this I was lucky as well because, as a composer, it takes on

average 10 hours to create 1 minute of orchestrated music. I

learned to be grateful for having composed and orchestrated 30

seconds of music in a day on the most difficult days. And after

stringing enough days together, I could sit back and prove to myself

that a little work every day did, indeed, mount up to an impressive

end result. I also did, and still do, a lot of self-talk ...

sometime aloud, which can be annoying to non-AS people (or so they

keep telling me).

Tom wrote: " Ever since I can remember I've realized I do not fit

in, in this world and I have wished that I was dead. My sister too. "

Maya wrote: " This is why I value the Other World, without it I

might not be able to survive reality. "

You refer to it as the Other World. I refer to it as my Inner

World. As long as my Inner World is what it is, it is a safe

haven. The trick is to keep the Inner World untainted from the Real

World and if you can manage to do that, then you will always have a

place in which to sequester yourself and find some calmness.

Lately, my Real World has been chaotic but my Inner World remains

unchanged hence the ability to still compose and perform and record

despite the many challenges thrown in my direction. Of course, it

helps to have two people (I must include that Aspling, of course,

who really does understand his mother's thinking) in my life who

accept my differentness. :-)

Raven

[Guest guest]

>

> " Death is a permanent solution to a series of temporary situations.

> That being said, I will also point out that platitudes such

> as " Tomorrow is another day " and " This, too, shall pass " just do not

> cut it when life is less than what it should be. "

Well said, and the rest of your post too. I have been depressed and

suicidal and know how terrible it is. But intellectually you must hold

onto the 'this to shall pass' and get help. Something is wrong but it

happens to be in the part of the body that controls thought and emotion

so you can't be objective. I made it and am happy now and as Maya

Angelou says " I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now " . It was hell

but I am better for going through it and can help others with my

experiences and wouldn't change it.

[Guest guest]

I also did, and still do, a lot of self-talk ...

> sometime aloud, which can be annoying to non-AS people (or so they

> keep telling me).

me too, at work they sometimes ask me if I am talking to them or to

myself LOL

> You refer to it as the Other World. I refer to it as my Inner

> World. As long as my Inner World is what it is, it is a safe

> haven. The trick is to keep the Inner World untainted from the Real

> World and if you can manage to do that, then you will always have a

> place in which to sequester yourself and find some calmness.

yes, Other World is the celtic term for the magickal realm, like

Dreamtime is for the aboriginals and also I call it Avalon sometimes.

I think there is a collective space and there are private places in it.

I actually believe we are linked THROUGH the Other World primarily (as

in a collective subconscious), hence I also believe in a Universal

Symbolic Language (though with many language-branches and individual

dialects) etc.

But these are again just theories in the learning/making.. it's just

one of those interests and creative thought processes I'm involved

in )

maYa

[Guest guest]

I forgot to say...

The trick is to keep the Inner World untainted from the Real

> World and if you can manage to do that, then you will always have a

> place in which to sequester yourself and find some calmness.

that I find this hard sometimes.. but I think that's because I feel

my life is threathened (because the future isn't certain enough for

me and I am not so naive anymore to think 'everything will solve

itself')

But I'm working on that! I think as soon as I got a real job I will

feel less threathened and I might be able to engage into pleasurable

activities more (especially creative ones like painting and working

on theories).

I wish you then much Inspiration! What kind of music do you create?

[Guest guest]

> I also did, and still do, a lot of self-talk ...

> > sometime aloud, which can be annoying to non-AS people (or so they

> > keep telling me).

>

> me too, at work they sometimes ask me if I am talking to them or to

> myself LOL

>

Me too. I love when I hear other people do it. My husband only does it

when he thinks no one is listening and it's so cute. I just do it all

the time, no matter who is listening. My workmates are used to it.

[Guest guest]

Maya wrote: " I wish you then much Inspiration! What kind of music

do you create? "

I wish I could say I write jazz or I write classical or I write

adult contemporary or I write rock or I write alt rock or I write

smooth jazz .... but the fact is, Maya, that I write what moves me

at the time *OR* I write what I have been hired to write (which is

not always a good thing for the soul but it does satisfy and please

my banker).

I posted a link to a few songs that were posted on another website

to allow members to listen to the cross section of material and I

could re-post the link if you would like.

Currently, I am working on a song entitled " Midnight In Chicago "

which, interestingly enough, once recorded, will have three

versions ... a Top 40/Adult Contemporary version (imagine Smashmouth

meeting Cougar Mellencamp); a country version (imagine Dixie

Chicks), and; a smooth jazz version. At this point (since it is in

its infancy as a song), there are only guitar, drum and vocal tracks

recorded.

When I write whatever moves me, this is my Inner World and there,

all things are safe and understandable ... sometimes frustrating but

always sheltered from the Real World. This is where I can find

myself and experience balance from within because it most assuredly

cannot be found from without.

Raven

[Guest guest]

wrote: " Me too. I love when I hear other people do it. My

husband only does it when he thinks no one is listening and it's so

cute. I just do it all the time, no matter who is listening. My

workmates are used to it. "

I have been told that my grandmother talked to herself almost non-

stop and no one ever knew if she wanted an answer from someone else

or if she was just wondering aloud or allowing her inner muse the

freedom of expression.

She passed away 8 years before I was born so I did not know her.

The stories of her self-talk only became a subject of discussion

when I was a child when my parents would complain to others that I

talked incessantly to no one and that hardly anyone could understand

what I was going on about.

I see that not much has changed since childhood. LOL.

Raven