a hopeful day

[Guest guest]

Hi

I haven't written in a while, but wanted to share a positive experience this

week with a new

therapist for my 9 y.o. son (with OCD, ADHD, LDs & probably more.) FYI Our son

takes

Trilpetal, Zoloft, Tenex & Focalin.

We live in MD outside DC, and found a new doc in northern VA. He's a Ph.D who

works

with kids suffering from anxiety & attention disorders. He specializes in

Exposure and

Response Prevention (ERP), which we've never tried in a really structured way.

After a brief intro play period, the doctor challenged my son to play a few

games with him.

First, he asked him to have a conversation for three minutes without saying the

word " no " .

(He could respond with a negative as long as it wasn't the actual word " no " .) My

son was

able to do this, even when asked if he had a girlfriend in third grade! It was

fun.

Then the doc asked my son to sit on his couch and let him snap elastics at his

torso

without jumping. My son thought this was very silly and readily agreed. Then

the doc

brought out a variety of elastics of different sizes, asking my boy to rate his

nervousness

from 1 - 10 for each one. He started at a 9, and though the elastics got

larger, his anxiety

went down to as low as a 5, once he got accustomed to it, and he was able to

hold very

still.

The third " game " was designed to cause frustration, which he told my son up

front. He

took out a dollar bill, flattened and creased it slightly, and held it above my

son's hand.

The task was to catch the dollar as he released it. Of course, this was

difficult, and my

child failed repeatedly. He became very determined and eventually caught it a

couple of

times. Then he failed again several times, and started to get mad at himself.

But he

persisted without quitting until he caught it once more, and ended the game with

a win.

The doctor then told my son that he'd learned a lot about him, and that he liked

what he

saw. In the first " no " game, he learned that my boy can " hear " his thoughts in

his head and

with concentration, can interrupt them. In the elastics game, he learned that my

boy can

control his body by using one part of his brain to give instructions to overide

another part

of his brain that wants to react. (He showed these brain parts on a model.)

The dollar game showed him that my son can remain focused through frustration,

and can

be very determined when he wants to succeed.

All these strengths will be called upon as he teaches my son to control his OCD

compulsions through ERP. My son left that office feeling like a million bucks

and very

optimistic about his potential to master his OCD, rather than be mastered by it.

We have loads of awful days, like all of you, so I wanted to share this lovely

one with all the

parents out there who sometimes feel hopeless, as I have, in the battle with

this horrible

affliction.

I know many families don't have access to professional help and that many kids

aren't

ready for ERP. We sure weren't before now. And the doctor warned us we are

signing up

for hard and frustrating and stressful work for a long, long time. But I am so

encouraged

to know that I can learn, and my child can learn, how to fight back against OCD

and

establish the habits of a lifetime to keep the worst of OCD at bay.

My best to all of you who share your struggles and sorrows through this network.

The

value of connection with others who " get it " is worth more than words can say.

Pam