Re: HELP I am all OCD'd out.......

October 23, 2006

In a message dated 10/23/2006 4:04:26 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

hippygal@... writes:

if he is not vomiting he is dry reaching throughout the day, even just a

germ thought will trigger of a vomiting attack. If he thinks I have breathed on

his food, he won't/can't eat it......

Jax

Gees..... you poor thing. Will your son prepare his own food? Would that

help - if no one else touched it? I don't know that that is so much being

co-dependent or giving into his rituals..... maybe it could just be considered

teaching him to do for himself??

I'm trying to remember your initial posts -- your ex is fairly removed from

the entire situation?? I do remember you said before that your son has

stopped wanting to visit his dad because of contamination issues... but has the

Dad ever shown any effort in helping you out?

This level of OCD is definitely out of my league... I just had to write &

say " UGH.... I feel for you! "

LT

October 23, 2006

Is there a support group near you? My son has a similar cluster of issues but

also has Aspergers and through the local association we have access to 'parental

relief services' - ie someone can come to your home and give you a few hours

respite. Is there anything like that avaible through the local TS association,

maybe? Or could the psychologist/psychiatrist direct you towards a respite

service somewhere? I don't know how you do it all by yourself - you NEED a break

- or you can't help your son!

kimz

HELP I am all OCD'd out.......

I don't often post but read nearly every post - this is such a busy forum

though, it is hard to keep up.

Anyway this is just a vent really - my son has TS, OCD and ADHD - we

have the ADHD sorted with meds but his OCD and tics is extreme, we have just

finished weaning him off meds for both TS and OCD as they were not doing much. I

homeschool him and he is suppose to be going to his dads every second weekend,

but he can't because his OCD won't let him (Germ related) I am a solo mum and

have not had a break from in months - he won't go to anyone's place in case of

germs either - his food is limited to less than 4 meals (which is fine) and he

vomits those up regularly when he thinks a germ has touched it etc...... if he

is not vomiting he is dry reaching throughout the day, even just a germ thought

will trigger of a vomiting attack. If he thinks I have breathed on his food, he

won't/can't eat it......

He is under a psychiatrist and psychologist but can't start therapy or wont

start therapy until the meds are sorted somewhat.

I am just so sick of walking on eggshells here in case we set of a panic

attack or a bout of vomiting........ I know in a couple of hours I will proberly

feel better but right now I am so sick and tired of it all. Why can't there be a

magic pill that will work....... anyway am feeling a bit better now, and I knew

I could vent on here because you all know what it is like. Sometimes I think I

should just go ToughLove but the psyc. team said not to.

Take care all and like I say I don't often post but I do read and have learnt

so much from you all.

Jackie (New Zealand)

October 23, 2006

Jackie,

Vent away and please don't feel like you have to apologize!! That is what we

are here for. I am soo sorry you are having a terrible time. It is

exhausting to go through this with no hope for relief.

When you say tough love how would you actually do that? We did that one

time with my sons gameboy, he uses it as a coping tool and is totally

obsessed with it. Our doctor wasn't sure that was a good idea either and it

actually worked out and he found other things to do. But that wasn't his OCD

issue except to cope. Not sure how you would do that with food that he has

to eat? You can't stop the vomiting?

You can stop catering to it, maybe that is what you need to do. We went

through a period where my son wouldn't go to the psychologist to get help

with his storms, said he didn't need help and didn't want to go. So. we did

stop catering to his fear. I told him if he doesn't need help then that is

fine but he is on his own when the storms come, don't come crying to me. So.

one day the storms came, he started panicing, wanted me to stop what I was

doing and console him, I reminded him that he is in control and doesn't need

my help or the doctors. So he did do his best to take control of the

situation. The funny part was after about two weeks of this he finally

admitted that he would go to the psychologist office. I really think so much

of this OCD is about control and we have to figure out how to put the

control on them. This little exercise did teach my son to learn how to

manage it by himself some which was a good thing also. For about a month I

kept reminding him in a joking way, " you are in control, remember? "

Sorry again, maybe sometimes when he vomits you just need to walk outside

and get busy in the yard to take your mind off of it. There is nothing you

can physically do to help him. I remember when my son had colic really bad

as a baby I had to do some of that just to get my sanity back. I found also

music can help a ton, get yourself a MP3 player and load it up with your

favorite songs, when the vomiting starts put that baby on and tune it out. I

learned this last summer when my stress level was way high that music was

one of the few things that actually brought relief. I also found somedays to

just go out and walk as hard as I could with the music and that seemed to

help also. It is all such a mental game.

Just some suggestions, hope things get better soon!

Adele

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Jaxx Brown

Sent: Monday, October 23, 2006 3:42 PM

Subject: HELP I am all OCD'd out.......

I don't often post but read nearly every post - this is such a busy forum

though, it is hard to keep up.

Anyway this is just a vent really - my son has TS, OCD and ADHD - we

have the ADHD sorted with meds but his OCD and tics is extreme, we have just

finished weaning him off meds for both TS and OCD as they were not doing

much. I homeschool him and he is suppose to be going to his dads every

second weekend, but he can't because his OCD won't let him (Germ related) I

am a solo mum and have not had a break from in months - he won't go to

anyone's place in case of germs either - his food is limited to less than 4

meals (which is fine) and he vomits those up regularly when he thinks a germ

has touched it etc...... if he is not vomiting he is dry reaching throughout

the day, even just a germ thought will trigger of a vomiting attack. If he

thinks I have breathed on his food, he won't/can't eat it......

He is under a psychiatrist and psychologist but can't start therapy or wont

start therapy until the meds are sorted somewhat.

I am just so sick of walking on eggshells here in case we set of a panic

attack or a bout of vomiting........ I know in a couple of hours I will

proberly feel better but right now I am so sick and tired of it all. Why

can't there be a magic pill that will work....... anyway am feeling a bit

better now, and I knew I could vent on here because you all know what it is

like. Sometimes I think I should just go ToughLove but the psyc. team said

not to.

Take care all and like I say I don't often post but I do read and have

learnt so much from you all.

Jackie (New Zealand)

October 23, 2006

Hey Jackie,

Please do vent/rant here! It really does help. I recall my own bad

days with my son (now 17).

Even though you homeschool, do you find some time for yourself??

Just anything from a long shower, to going outside, a walk around the

block, buying yourself some " treat " (food, clothing...), setting

aside 30 min or more that is YOUR time (your me-time) each evening or

afternoon (OCD and kids will have to wait). I even have kept books

in my bathroom to pull out to read for 10 min or so (I took many

trips to the bathroom, LOL) during the day.

Do you know - without any medication, which is the worst for your

son: the ADHD, OCD, or TS? Wondering if it's the OCD, would you want

to try stopping the ADHD med and just try a new OCD one?

>

> I don't often post but read nearly every post - this is such a busy

forum though, it is hard to keep up.

>

> Anyway this is just a vent really - my son has TS, OCD and

ADHD - we have the ADHD sorted with meds but his OCD and tics is

October 23, 2006

_____

>>Do you know - without any medication, which is the worst for your

son: the ADHD, OCD, or TS? Wondering if it's the OCD, would you want

to try stopping the ADHD med and just try a new OCD one? >>

I ditto that, the ADD meds make the OCD worse many times.

October 23, 2006

We have Respite care - but he will not go anywhere and to find carers here is

just about impossible........ One thing I am lucky about is that he goes to bed

early and is asleep most nights by about 8.30 - 9pm so get some " me " time then.

BTW am feeling much better now

Thanks Jackie (New Zealand)

Re: HELP I am all OCD'd out.......

Is there a support group near you? My son has a similar cluster of issues but

also has Aspergers and through the local association we have access to 'parental

relief services' - ie someone can come to your home and give you a few hours

respite. Is there anything like that avaible through the local TS association,

maybe? Or could the psychologist/psychiatrist direct you towards a respite

service somewhere? I don't know how you do it all by yourself - you NEED a break

- or you can't help your son!

kim

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October 23, 2006

" Do you know - without any medication, which is the worst for your

son: the ADHD, OCD, or TS? Wondering if it's the OCD, would you want

to try stopping the ADHD med and just try a new OCD one? "

The ADHD is the worse danger wise, so hence why we don't want to fiddle with

that. Without it he is a danger to himself, his twin sister and me..... The OCD

is a pain, and it disrupts everyone but at least he is in no danger, well I

should say that is not quite true, because at one stage there he was talking

alot about killing himself but since we have removed him from school which was

causing the main stress that is slightly better and the TS just causes a lot of

tics which he gets embarassed about.

Cheers and thanks Jackie (New Zealand)

October 23, 2006

I would not go Toughlove unless the psyc. team backed me up....... sometimes I

am tempted to try but with having had suicidal thoughts in the past it is

just not worth the risk...... I try to just focus on other things but some days

(like this morning) it just gets to much.......

Cheers Jackie (New Zealand)