Re: consider homeschooling

[Guest guest]

Interesting topic, . I have to admit, back in 6th grade I had given

some real serious thought to it for my son. BUT, then reality set in - LOL!!

I thought about it from all angles, spoke with other parents in the area who

were homeschooling, and gathered all the information I could. When I weighed

the pros/cons, I didn't feel I could play the role of caretaker and teacher.

There were just too many what-ifs. I envisioned a screaming match getting

my son out of bed every morning so I could teach him. While I agree that the

anxiety levels would be lessened, I'm not sure that I was ready to

completely protect him from the big outside world. Although it was tough, I

think

some of the day-to-day pressures were/are good for him since eventually he'll

need to go out there and make his way without me " kicking all the rocks out

from in front of him " so to speak.

I think for some, homeschooling is probably a great solution, but in our

case, I just couldn't bring myself to make the big decision to do it.

Homeschooling has taken off in my area and, yes, there are large groups and

support type networks available so it obviously is something that parents are

doing now. It just wasn't the right option/choice for us.

In a message dated 8/30/2006 8:00:10 PM Central Standard Time,

lauraj2@... writes:

Those with kids having trouble in school, have you considered homeschooling?

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm not against homeschooling. I'm just wondering how you do it?! I have been

thinking about it for a few years now. I just don't see how my children would

learn anything at all.How do you get them to sit and pay attention long enough

for them to learn? I get frustrated just trying to get my son to do anything. I

'm a stay at home mom, so it would be possible, but how do you homeschool 3 kids

age 4-11, all on totally different learning levels?

Just curious, I don't think I would have the patience, but school is

definitely a problem for two of my kids, and I do not want them being

bullied.(It's becoming so much more common now for our kids to become bullied)

thanks

Judy

[Guest guest]

There are many homeschooling styles. First, you don't have to spend the 8 hours

that kids are in school. Much of that isn't really spent on academics. So, you

can probably do a young child in 1-2 hours, in 15 minute chunks here and there

and an older child in 2-3 hours. If you feel the need for lots of sit down

structured time. Also, you can make it fun so they want to learn. I use lots

of hands on stuff, that he is so into, like history, science etc... We write and

read about those fun topics and really anything he's interested in, legos,

games, dragons. There also should be a period of de-schooling, after kids have

been taken out of school. Typically a month for every year they have been in.

Take that time to relax, get to know each other and find out what they want to

learn about. Mixed ages in homes are good to do unit studies. Find a topic and

explore it with your kids. You can get a boxed curriculum and go that way, very

structured etc... But, probably the best scenario is when you all approach it as

learning together an adventure. You decide together what the goals are. It

doesn't have to be school at home, and probably shouldn't be. If you view

yourself as a teacher then you will be put in the role as over the kids, forcing

them to learn. But, if you think of yourself as a guide, letting them learn

along as they want, you will have a happier role. Kids naturally want to learn.

And you can learn alot of " basic " skills while exploring topics of interests,

books they love and with games, loads of games are educational. And the

software is amazing that is available. It depends on how you approach

homeschooling and also how you view education. Is it to learn a set of skills

that someone decides is important and you must force your child to learn it, or

is education teaching them how to learn, love learning and always seeking

knowledge. Look into it. Many families love homeschooling, though it is not for

everyone. But, don't think of it in terms of the rigidness of school. Look at it

from another perspective.

J

Re: consider homeschooling

Hi ,

I'm not against homeschooling. I'm just wondering how you do it?! I have been

thinking about it for a few years now. I just don't see how my children would

learn anything at all.How do you get them to sit and pay attention long enough

for them to learn? I get frustrated just trying to get my son to do anything. I

'm a stay at home mom, so it would be possible, but how do you homeschool 3 kids

age 4-11, all on totally different learning levels?

Just curious, I don't think I would have the patience, but school is

definitely a problem for two of my kids, and I do not want them being

bullied.(It's becoming so much more common now for our kids to become bullied)

thanks

Judy

[Guest guest]

Thought about it in the past, but it is not for me. I couldnt do it. I would

condsider having her homeschooled with someone else and their kids, if I knew

and trusted them.

Sharon

consider homeschooling

Those with kids having trouble in school, have you considered homeschooling?

Not just as an emergency crisis type of thing, but embracing it as a good solid

educational choice. We were always planning on homeschooling even before the OCD

thing came up. I know not everyone's situation allows that. But, it's something

to consider. Some kids do better learning at home in a more nurturing

environment. There are probably many good groups in your area that could help

and provide a nice social environment. I've noticed that homeschooled kids tend

to be very accepting of others, and those who are different than them. Multi-age

groups are common, big kids play with the little ones, and they tend to be

non-cliquish. Is that a word? Ben's quirkiness doesn't stick out as much. It may

help lower the anxiety and provide a comforting environment for your child.

There is so much curriculum that is available that it isn't that hard anymore.

Some even provide dvds that teach for y J

[Guest guest]

~

Do I understand correctly that you do or have done homeschooling? If so,

where do I begin?

Glenda

<lauraj2@...> wrote:

There are many homeschooling styles. First, you don't have to spend

the 8 hours that kids are in school. Much of that isn't really spent on

academics. So, you can probably do a young child in 1-2 hours, in 15 minute

chunks here and there and an older child in 2-3 hours. If you feel the need for

lots of sit down structured time. Also, you can make it fun so they want to

learn. I use lots of hands on stuff, that he is so into, like history, science

etc... We write and read about those fun topics and really anything he's

interested in, legos, games, dragons. There also should be a period of

de-schooling, after kids have been taken out of school. Typically a month for

every year they have been in. Take that time to relax, get to know each other

and find out what they want to learn about. Mixed ages in homes are good to do

unit studies. Find a topic and explore it with your kids. You can get a boxed

curriculum and go that way, very structured etc... But, probably the

best scenario is when you all approach it as learning together an adventure.

You decide together what the goals are. It doesn't have to be school at home,

and probably shouldn't be. If you view yourself as a teacher then you will be

put in the role as over the kids, forcing them to learn. But, if you think of

yourself as a guide, letting them learn along as they want, you will have a

happier role. Kids naturally want to learn. And you can learn alot of " basic "

skills while exploring topics of interests, books they love and with games,

loads of games are educational. And the software is amazing that is available.

It depends on how you approach homeschooling and also how you view education. Is

it to learn a set of skills that someone decides is important and you must force

your child to learn it, or is education teaching them how to learn, love

learning and always seeking knowledge. Look into it. Many families love

homeschooling, though it is not for everyone. But, don't

think of it in terms of the rigidness of school. Look at it from another

perspective.

J

Re: consider homeschooling

Hi ,

I'm not against homeschooling. I'm just wondering how you do it?! I have been

thinking about it for a few years now. I just don't see how my children would

learn anything at all.How do you get them to sit and pay attention long enough

for them to learn? I get frustrated just trying to get my son to do anything. I

'm a stay at home mom, so it would be possible, but how do you homeschool 3 kids

age 4-11, all on totally different learning levels?

Just curious, I don't think I would have the patience, but school is definitely

a problem for two of my kids, and I do not want them being bullied.(It's

becoming so much more common now for our kids to become bullied)

thanks

Judy

[Guest guest]

Glenda,

I am new to this list.. and I realize this question was directed to someone

else... However, I have homeschooled my three children for eight years. Feel

free to pm me if you would like to ask questions about it. My dd (13) recently

began suddenly with " bad thoughts " OCD along with confessing and intense

worrying/anxiety. Being able to start homeschool again this year has been a

blessing. My answer to your question of where do you begin? It is legal to

homeschool in all 50 states, however the laws are different in each. Do some

research and find out what your requirements are. There is a group called Home

School Legal Defense Association that lists all the laws on their web site or

you should be able to find them at your state department of education's web

site.

Hope this helps.

Tamara

Re: consider homeschooling

~

Do I understand correctly that you do or have done homeschooling? If so, where

do I begin?

Glenda

<lauraj2@...> wrote:

There are many homeschooling styles. First, you don't have to spend the 8 hours

that kids are in school. Much of that isn't really spent on academics. So, you

can probably do a young child in 1-2 hours, in 15 minute chunks here and there

and an older child in 2-3 hours. If you feel the need for lots of sit down

structured time. Also, you can make it fun so they want to learn. I use lots of

hands on stuff, that he is so into, like history, science etc... We write and

read about those fun topics and really anything he's interested in, legos,

games, dragons. There also should be a period of de-schooling, after kids have

been taken out of school. Typically a month for every year they have been in.

Take that time to relax, get to know each other and find out what they want to

learn about. Mixed ages in homes are good to do unit studies. Find a topic and

explore it with your kids. You can get a boxed curriculum and go that way, very

structured etc... But, probably the

best scenario is when you all approach it as learning together an adventure. You

decide together what the goals are. It doesn't have to be school at home, and

probably shouldn't be. If you view yourself as a teacher then you will be put in

the role as over the kids, forcing them to learn. But, if you think of yourself

as a guide, letting them learn along as they want, you will have a happier role.

Kids naturally want to learn. And you can learn alot of " basic " skills while

exploring topics of interests, books they love and with games, loads of games

are educational. And the software is amazing that is available. It depends on

how you approach homeschooling and also how you view education. Is it to learn a

set of skills that someone decides is important and you must force your child to

learn it, or is education teaching them how to learn, love learning and always

seeking knowledge. Look into it. Many families love homeschooling, though it is

not for everyone. But, don't

think of it in terms of the rigidness of school. Look at it from another

perspective.

J

Re: consider homeschooling

Hi ,

I'm not against homeschooling. I'm just wondering how you do it?! I have been

thinking about it for a few years now. I just don't see how my children would

learn anything at all.How do you get them to sit and pay attention long enough

for them to learn? I get frustrated just trying to get my son to do anything. I

'm a stay at home mom, so it would be possible, but how do you homeschool 3 kids

age 4-11, all on totally different learning levels?

Just curious, I don't think I would have the patience, but school is definitely

a problem for two of my kids, and I do not want them being bullied.(It's

becoming so much more common now for our kids to become bullied)

thanks

Judy

[Guest guest]

Thank you Tamara! I'll start researching Kansas Law on Homeschooling.

Glenda

TSLaskar@... wrote:

Glenda,

I am new to this list.. and I realize this question was directed to someone

else... However, I have homeschooled my three children for eight years. Feel

free to pm me if you would like to ask questions about it. My dd (13) recently

began suddenly with " bad thoughts " OCD along with confessing and intense

worrying/anxiety. Being able to start homeschool again this year has been a

blessing. My answer to your question of where do you begin? It is legal to

homeschool in all 50 states, however the laws are different in each. Do some

research and find out what your requirements are. There is a group called Home

School Legal Defense Association that lists all the laws on their web site or

you should be able to find them at your state department of education's web

site.

Hope this helps.

Tamara

Re: consider homeschooling

~

Do I understand correctly that you do or have done homeschooling? If so, where

do I begin?

Glenda

<lauraj2@...> wrote:

There are many homeschooling styles. First, you don't have to spend the 8 hours

that kids are in school. Much of that isn't really spent on academics. So, you

can probably do a young child in 1-2 hours, in 15 minute chunks here and there

and an older child in 2-3 hours. If you feel the need for lots of sit down

structured time. Also, you can make it fun so they want to learn. I use lots of

hands on stuff, that he is so into, like history, science etc... We write and

read about those fun topics and really anything he's interested in, legos,

games, dragons. There also should be a period of de-schooling, after kids have

been taken out of school. Typically a month for every year they have been in.

Take that time to relax, get to know each other and find out what they want to

learn about. Mixed ages in homes are good to do unit studies. Find a topic and

explore it with your kids. You can get a boxed curriculum and go that way, very

structured etc... But, probably the

best scenario is when you all approach it as learning together an adventure. You

decide together what the goals are. It doesn't have to be school at home, and

probably shouldn't be. If you view yourself as a teacher then you will be put in

the role as over the kids, forcing them to learn. But, if you think of yourself

as a guide, letting them learn along as they want, you will have a happier role.

Kids naturally want to learn. And you can learn alot of " basic " skills while

exploring topics of interests, books they love and with games, loads of games

are educational. And the software is amazing that is available. It depends on

how you approach homeschooling and also how you view education. Is it to learn a

set of skills that someone decides is important and you must force your child to

learn it, or is education teaching them how to learn, love learning and always

seeking knowledge. Look into it. Many families love homeschooling, though it is

not for everyone. But, don't

think of it in terms of the rigidness of school. Look at it from another

perspective.

J

Re: consider homeschooling

Hi ,

I'm not against homeschooling. I'm just wondering how you do it?! I have been

thinking about it for a few years now. I just don't see how my children would

learn anything at all.How do you get them to sit and pay attention long enough

for them to learn? I get frustrated just trying to get my son to do anything. I

'm a stay at home mom, so it would be possible, but how do you homeschool 3 kids

age 4-11, all on totally different learning levels?

Just curious, I don't think I would have the patience, but school is definitely

a problem for two of my kids, and I do not want them being bullied.(It's

becoming so much more common now for our kids to become bullied)

thanks

Judy

[Guest guest]

Our family also homeschools. We started when our first son was of compulsory

school age (6 in NYS). When our third son who has the OCD was diagnosed, we

just continued to do what we did educationally-wise. We find that our

homeschool lifestyle fits us well. It allows our children (and my husband

and I) to learn in a way that is meaningful for them. All those school-based

assumptions about how learning takes place flies out the window when one

homeschools. The best way I can describe it is if you think back to when

your children were born. Think back on the joy those babies and toddlers had

when they mastered a new skill: grasping objects, crawling, babbling and

getting parents' attention and then proceeding to language development and

walking/running, etc. No one had a set curriculum for them to learn these

things. Kids learn all the time. One really can't prevent them from

learning. They are sponges. They learn from observing and mimicking adults

around them. They learn from trial and error, etc. The school assumption is

that once they turn a certain age (and it varies from country to country),

it is time for sit-down formal learning from an expert (certified teacher).

I challenge that assumption. Why do we assume that once children are five

years old they need school? Their learning curve does not stop just when

they turn 5 nor does it stop when they turn at any given age. My 18 year old

son never went to school and he is just as eager to learn things that

interest him as he was when he was a toddler. Due to his maturity, he also

knows how to learn things he needs to know to accomplish what he wants to

accomplish. For example, because he wants to go to college, he is formally

studying and preparing for the SAT.

In the case of an OCD child who thinks he is a failure because he can't

manage to attend school due to the obsessions, I think the biggest challenge

would be to help him overcome those obsessions. I wonder that if one

homeschools solely due to avoiding the obsessions, that perhaps one is

enabling the OCD? I am only mentioning this as food for thought.

I personally am glad we homeschool especially due to the fact that we do

have an OCD son. I imagine the anxiety for him would have been much higher

had he been in school but I work hard not to be an enabler. I recommend that

you do a lot of reading on homeschooling. Meet other homeschoolers. There

are all kinds of approaches. We are of the unschooler kind but there are

other approaches that may fit you better especially since your son

associates learning with the school approach.

I think it is important not to look upon homeschooling as an option for

those that do not have what it takes to succeed in school (due to OCD),

because it hurts the child's self-esteem. They need to feel they can

succeed. My point is that attitude about one-self is so important. My kids

are proud they homeschool and don't feel like failures.

My ocd son is a perfectionist and he does have anxiety about things. His ocd

is very subtle and an integrated part of his personality. I cannot separate

the two. They are provoked in a real life setting as opposed to an

artificial setting that school creates. School creates its own world (it is

necessary due to the numbers they are responsible for) with its own time

table, rules, and structure. Home and community life create a very different

kind of world so the anxiety that my OCD son has is related to what I

associate as real world and everyday living issues. I try to help him deal

with those and don't need to waste time with what I probably would have had

to deal with had he gone to school. Things like contamination issues with

school bathrooms, cafeteria and trying to get that perfect grade no matter

what, etc. I help him deal more with things that come up in the home and

community. I try to help him deal with people and places in the community

and relationships. Learning academics and other topics occur in a more

meaningful and relaxed way. There are no artificial standards, competition,

testing, or grading. I feel homeschooling allows us to be more in tune with

what he has to deal with for the rest of his life.

-

[Guest guest]

I read through the other posts and I think you got some great info there. The

only thing I can add to it is, can you help him think in terms of maybe taking a

break from school. Put it in a positive light. Maybe in addition to his work

from school, he can have time to work on some cool project or study something

that he's really interested in, but hasn't had time for. That's one of the best

things about homeschooling is having the time to learn what you want and explore

things on a deeper level. He could probably complete his work from school in a

few hours and would have plenty of time to get really into something he want to

learn about. Online courses, learn a language, web design, playing an

instrument, writing, learning to cook, the list goes on. Maybe do a plus minus

list with him and find some pluses about being home, to help him see it better

for himself. And I would try and arrange some time with friends from school, so

he won't be too left out of things. An understanding friend of course. They

might be rather envious of the time he has for fun things if he is at home.

It's all how you can spin it. Find the positives, there are many and play those

up.

Curriculum wise, there are so many options. I have a younger child and I was a

teacher for his grade level, so I tend to piece things together from lots of

different resources. But, you may want look into a packaged curriculum to get

you started. There are so many. We sometimes use Oak Meadow, it is a secular

program, and I have seen their things for older kids, very good.

www.oakmeadow.com If you are Christian, there are many, many curriculums that

you may like. My friend used Abeka and it has dvds that do pretty much

everything for you. You are there for support and guidance, but the dvds

structure it for you. It is expensive though. Maybe let him help you choose

something together. And of course check out if the school district has an online

course. They have it here in Florida and they give you a computer. Good luck, he

has a great mom who cares so much about him. There are many of us who homeschool

and we are here if you need us.

J

Re: consider homeschooling

Hi ,

I'm not against homeschooling. I'm just wondering how you do it?! I have been

thinking about it for a few years now. I just don't see how my children would

learn anything at all.How do you get them to sit and pay attention long enough

for them to learn? I get frustrated just trying to get my son to do anything. I

'm a stay at home mom, so it would be possible, but how do you homeschool 3 kids

age 4-11, all on totally different learning levels?

Just curious, I don't think I would have the patience, but school is

definitely a problem for two of my kids, and I do not want them being

bullied.(It's becoming so much more common now for our kids to become bullied)

thanks

Judy

[Guest guest]

Thanks !!

Glenda

<lauraj2@...> wrote:

I read through the other posts and I think you got some great info

there. The only thing I can add to it is, can you help him think in terms of

maybe taking a break from school. Put it in a positive light. Maybe in addition

to his work from school, he can have time to work on some cool project or study

something that he's really interested in, but hasn't had time for. That's one of

the best things about homeschooling is having the time to learn what you want

and explore things on a deeper level. He could probably complete his work from

school in a few hours and would have plenty of time to get really into something

he want to learn about. Online courses, learn a language, web design, playing an

instrument, writing, learning to cook, the list goes on. Maybe do a plus minus

list with him and find some pluses about being home, to help him see it better

for himself. And I would try and arrange some time with friends from school, so

he won't be too left out of things.

An understanding friend of course. They might be rather envious of the time he

has for fun things if he is at home. It's all how you can spin it. Find the

positives, there are many and play those up.

Curriculum wise, there are so many options. I have a younger child and I was a

teacher for his grade level, so I tend to piece things together from lots of

different resources. But, you may want look into a packaged curriculum to get

you started. There are so many. We sometimes use Oak Meadow, it is a secular

program, and I have seen their things for older kids, very good.

www.oakmeadow.com If you are Christian, there are many, many curriculums that

you may like. My friend used Abeka and it has dvds that do pretty much

everything for you. You are there for support and guidance, but the dvds

structure it for you. It is expensive though. Maybe let him help you choose

something together. And of course check out if the school district has an online

course. They have it here in Florida and they give you a computer. Good luck, he

has a great mom who cares so much about him. There are many of us who homeschool

and we are here if you need us.

J

Re: consider homeschooling

Hi ,

I'm not against homeschooling. I'm just wondering how you do it?! I have been

thinking about it for a few years now. I just don't see how my children would

learn anything at all.How do you get them to sit and pay attention long enough

for them to learn? I get frustrated just trying to get my son to do anything. I

'm a stay at home mom, so it would be possible, but how do you homeschool 3 kids

age 4-11, all on totally different learning levels?

Just curious, I don't think I would have the patience, but school is definitely

a problem for two of my kids, and I do not want them being bullied.(It's

becoming so much more common now for our kids to become bullied)

thanks

Judy

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

I have certainly thought that if I homeschool him it will enable/strengthen

his OCD. When we talk about it, we always talk about it as a temporary thing to

keep him from falling behind until he feels good enough to get back into the

classroom. Lots to think about......

Glenda

<dpryntz@...> wrote:

Our family also homeschools. We started when our first son was of

compulsory

school age (6 in NYS). When our third son who has the OCD was diagnosed, we

just continued to do what we did educationally-wise. We find that our

homeschool lifestyle fits us well. It allows our children (and my husband

and I) to learn in a way that is meaningful for them. All those school-based

assumptions about how learning takes place flies out the window when one

homeschools. The best way I can describe it is if you think back to when

your children were born. Think back on the joy those babies and toddlers had

when they mastered a new skill: grasping objects, crawling, babbling and

getting parents' attention and then proceeding to language development and

walking/running, etc. No one had a set curriculum for them to learn these

things. Kids learn all the time. One really can't prevent them from

learning. They are sponges. They learn from observing and mimicking adults

around them. They learn from trial and error, etc. The school assumption is

that once they turn a certain age (and it varies from country to country),

it is time for sit-down formal learning from an expert (certified teacher).

I challenge that assumption. Why do we assume that once children are five

years old they need school? Their learning curve does not stop just when

they turn 5 nor does it stop when they turn at any given age. My 18 year old

son never went to school and he is just as eager to learn things that

interest him as he was when he was a toddler. Due to his maturity, he also

knows how to learn things he needs to know to accomplish what he wants to

accomplish. For example, because he wants to go to college, he is formally

studying and preparing for the SAT.

In the case of an OCD child who thinks he is a failure because he can't

manage to attend school due to the obsessions, I think the biggest challenge

would be to help him overcome those obsessions. I wonder that if one

homeschools solely due to avoiding the obsessions, that perhaps one is

enabling the OCD? I am only mentioning this as food for thought.

I personally am glad we homeschool especially due to the fact that we do

have an OCD son. I imagine the anxiety for him would have been much higher

had he been in school but I work hard not to be an enabler. I recommend that

you do a lot of reading on homeschooling. Meet other homeschoolers. There

are all kinds of approaches. We are of the unschooler kind but there are

other approaches that may fit you better especially since your son

associates learning with the school approach.

I think it is important not to look upon homeschooling as an option for

those that do not have what it takes to succeed in school (due to OCD),

because it hurts the child's self-esteem. They need to feel they can

succeed. My point is that attitude about one-self is so important. My kids

are proud they homeschool and don't feel like failures.

My ocd son is a perfectionist and he does have anxiety about things. His ocd

is very subtle and an integrated part of his personality. I cannot separate

the two. They are provoked in a real life setting as opposed to an

artificial setting that school creates. School creates its own world (it is

necessary due to the numbers they are responsible for) with its own time

table, rules, and structure. Home and community life create a very different

kind of world so the anxiety that my OCD son has is related to what I

associate as real world and everyday living issues. I try to help him deal

with those and don't need to waste time with what I probably would have had

to deal with had he gone to school. Things like contamination issues with

school bathrooms, cafeteria and trying to get that perfect grade no matter

what, etc. I help him deal more with things that come up in the home and

community. I try to help him deal with people and places in the community

and relationships. Learning academics and other topics occur in a more

meaningful and relaxed way. There are no artificial standards, competition,

testing, or grading. I feel homeschooling allows us to be more in tune with

what he has to deal with for the rest of his life.

-