Re: Explaining to Siblings

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/31/2006 6:55:04 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

rifiutigrandissimi@... writes:

How do parents explain to the brothers and sister of a child with OCD what

their sibling has?

If the sibs are older, there shouldn't be a problem. The day we sat our son

down (17yrs) to explain about the " odd " behavior he obviously was noticing

in his sister (14yrs) - half way through the conversation he said, " I know. "

Much to our surprise, he had found her medication in the kitchen cabinet

with his sister's name on it (he had been looking for something & knew we

didn't keep medicine there - so he read the label to see what it was) and

looked

it up on the Internet to see what it was for. Between that written

explanation & the behavior he had been witnessing - he figured it out WEEKS

ago.

So, your friends might be just as surprised. OCD is not easy to keep a

secret. Chances are the other kids will be quite relieved to hear the

explanation - it's better than not know what's going on with a brother or

sister. It

affects sibling's much more than some people may think.

We waited until our daughter wasn't around (that was her choice). We even

had several episodes where she was 'stuck' in the shower when we were gone and

our son helped her by 'talking her out' of the shower - calming her down,

telling her it's ok, verbally talking her through rinsing off, etc.

Then, the next day they were beating the crap out of each other...

aaahhhh... sibling love.

LT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/31/2006 10:13:27 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

adelem@... writes:

My oldest also resents that younger brother doesn't get

disciplined for some of these things.

You need to tell your other kids. They not only 'need' to know, they have a

right to know what's going on.

We also made sure that we fully explained to our son the importance of how

this is a private family matter & it's not to be discussed for any reason with

anyone outside of the family. We also mentioned that teasing her about her

rituals, etc., could actually cause it to get worse.

He's really been very understanding & sympathetic about it with her.

LT

[Guest guest]

Interesting thread, I have been trying to figure out the same thing in my

family. I have a 17 year old that totally does not understand his cry baby,

scared of everything 9 year old OCD brother. I have thought of bringing in

my teen to the therapist and having a family session. I have also thought to

let my older son read " Mr. Worry " so he can somewhat relate to what his

brother has been going through. I did tell my oldest but I don't feel like I

explained it well. My oldest also resents that younger brother doesn't get

disciplined for some of these things. Will love to hear what others suggest.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of rifiutigrandissimi

Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 6:44 PM

Subject: Explaining to Siblings

Here is a situation. I know of two parents whose son seems to have

OCD. It has caused stress between him and an older sibling. How do

parents explain to the brothers and sister of a child with OCD what

their sibling has?

[Guest guest]

What is said would depend on the age of that older sibling. You might

get more technical with an older one. How old is he/she?

You can keep it sort of simple. If not too young, that it's a " brain

trick. " That OCD is a " chemical imbalance " and the person is not in

control; the brain is sending the wrong signals. That serotonin plays

a role in OCD and that doctors have found that using medication that

slows down the reuptake (reabsorption, recycling...find a word easy to

understand for their age) of serotonin, giving the brain more time

to " use it " , has been shown to help OCD. Other brain chemicals

(neurotransmitters) also play a role but doctors don't yet know

how.... That having OCD isn't a " choice " , any more than a person

developing/having diabetes or cancer or having ADD or being good/bad

at math/english/reading.... I'm rambling, I know, but with my OCD

son's siblings it was also easy to point out our own OCD " tendencies "

but that just got OCD " full force " and isn't able to help it.

For instance, likes things " neat " and was scared of spiders; or

Randall didn't like *anyone* sitting on his bed or borrowing a book of

his (might bend a page) and both would feel " anxiety " somewhat during

times those things came up. Or that I (me!) always tend to go back

and check the iron to make sure I turned it off; if I don't, it'll bug

me (did I turn it off? I can't remember....). I think we've all been

scared at times in our lives; most kids will at some time have a fear

of the dark. Why?? What's to be scared of, have they actually seen

anything, had anything bad happen..., what's logical about that? OCD

isn't logical either.

Just thinking of little examples that a parent could come up with to

show similarity.

You can look at the OCD Foundation website for a more technical

explanation.

Quick thoughts and hope something made sense (or was pretty much true!)

>

> Here is a situation. I know of two parents whose son seems to have

> OCD. It has caused stress between him and an older sibling. How do

> parents explain to the brothers and sister of a child with OCD what

> their sibling has?

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/1/2006 5:52:44 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

adelem@... writes:

I'm really thinking we are at a point that we need to

bring them both together with the therapist to work on these issues.

I think that's a great idea. I know the effects of OCD can be so different

depending on what the issues are.

LT

[Guest guest]

I have told my older son but I don't think he truly understands that it just

can't be disciplined. I'm really thinking we are at a point that we need to

bring them both together with the therapist to work on these issues. My OCD

youngest son craves attentions from his big brother, big brother truly

doesn't know how to connect with little brother because of these

differences. Its really been hard.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of jtlt@...

Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 10:36 PM

Subject: Re: Explaining to Siblings

In a message dated 8/31/2006 10:13:27 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

adelemcarolina (DOT) <mailto:adelem%40carolina.rr.com> rr.com writes:

My oldest also resents that younger brother doesn't get

disciplined for some of these things.

You need to tell your other kids. They not only 'need' to know, they have a

right to know what's going on.

We also made sure that we fully explained to our son the importance of how

this is a private family matter & it's not to be discussed for any reason

with

anyone outside of the family. We also mentioned that teasing her about her

rituals, etc., could actually cause it to get worse.

He's really been very understanding & sympathetic about it with her.

LT

[Guest guest]

depends on how old they are?

Explaining to Siblings

Here is a situation. I know of two parents whose son seems to have

OCD. It has caused stress between him and an older sibling. How do

parents explain to the brothers and sister of a child with OCD what

their sibling has?

[Guest guest]

Godd idea, I think about that too. In the future I think it can be

wonderful for them to be able to rely on each other and have a good

relationship. My daughter who is younger is fast becoming my son's

peer (20 months between them) and this is threatening to him making

for even more rivalry ect... Ugh!

Bonnie

>

> I have told my older son but I don't think he truly understands that

it just

> can't be disciplined. I'm really thinking we are at a point that we

need to

> bring them both together with the therapist to work on these issues.

My OCD

> youngest son craves attentions from his big brother, big brother truly

> doesn't know how to connect with little brother because of these

> differences. Its really been hard.

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of jtlt@...

> Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 10:36 PM

>

> Subject: Re: Explaining to Siblings

>

>

>

>

> In a message dated 8/31/2006 10:13:27 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> adelemcarolina (DOT) <mailto:adelem%40carolina.rr.com> rr.com writes:

>

> My oldest also resents that younger brother doesn't get

> disciplined for some of these things.

>

> You need to tell your other kids. They not only 'need' to know, they

have a

> right to know what's going on.

>

> We also made sure that we fully explained to our son the importance

of how

> this is a private family matter & it's not to be discussed for any

reason

> with

> anyone outside of the family. We also mentioned that teasing her

about her

> rituals, etc., could actually cause it to get worse.

>

> He's really been very understanding & sympathetic about it with her.

> LT

>

>

[Guest guest]

mine are all young - even the one with OCD so we told them all at the

same time - except the 16 month old of course - but they need to know

in simple terms and they are all very good at just backing off during

exposure or whatever - I hate that they have to deal too - but

hopefully it will help them somehow in life - must keep positive ;-)

eileen

Quoting kidsnpets <sdonovan1@...>:

> depends on how old they are?

> Explaining to Siblings

>

>

> Here is a situation. I know of two parents whose son seems to have

> OCD. It has caused stress between him and an older sibling. How do

> parents explain to the brothers and sister of a child with OCD what

> their sibling has?

>

>

>

>

>

>