Guest guest Posted July 24, 2006 Report Share Posted July 24, 2006 Sharon wrote: > > > I am really upset, There was a little four year old autistic boy > wearing nothing but a diaper who got out of his house around four am > Saturday morning and walked about a half a mile and was hit by a car, > the driver never stopped. Now I know my daughter has gotten out of the > house, but she has never gotten far without someone running after her > and we have locks that cant be opened without a key so she isnt going > anywhere at night. It really bothers me when this kind of stuff > happens and I wonder where his Mother was and how he got so far away > from home without someone missing him. Normaly I dont think that the > parent is always at fault when things happen to kids because I live > with autism every day and does things that I sometimes cannot > control but this time I feel his caregiver should be help accountable. When Louie was 4, he went travelling whether it was light or dark out! And one time we were awakened by police at the foot of our bed at 3 in the morning, asking us what our son was doing standing with his dog on the center line of a busy street five blocks away and backing up traffic for miles in both directions. Dressed in a diaper. We didn't know he was out. He was asleep when we went to bed. Our apt. complex wouldn't OK padlocks on the inside of our doors, and there was no way to lock the windows....and we were on the ground floor. He could (and still can) pick any non-key lock there is, including combination locks of all kinds (he's very patient). He'd get into apartments too, ones where the people weren't home, and watch TV early in the a.m., read their magazines and papers, and sleep a bit on the floor. And we'd be frantic trying to find him; his longest " hide and seek " lasted almost 4 hours. Who knew our son would do that? Certainly not us! He'd never done it before, in the middle of the night (it was the first of his night time voyages). We did sleep in shifts, but it made it hard on the one of us working during the week (me) and tough on the person who had to work till all hours on the weekend (my dh, a pro musician). It almost did us in. And when we thought we had it whipped and started sleeping at night, guess what? Right. He did this until he was 12 years old, when he finally stopped doing it. We were really worried by then because he was big enough that someone might have shot him as a burglar. Parents must sleep sometimes too. And they shouldn't be blamed if their child goes travelling when they do. Some things cannot be forseen or easily prevented. Some things you just have to get through until they fade out. Being hassled by the cops and/or CYFD is just the thing we *didn't* need in this situation. Just my opinion. ymmv Annie, who loves ya annie@... -- “If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -- Pickford Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Oh, that is so sad! Poor little guy!! How distressing for his parents. I can understand your irritation, though. But I think if it was about 4 AM, everyone's asleep. Y'know? Now, 4 in the afternoon, WHERE WERE THEY? But 4 AM is a little harder. Max used to run off when he was little. Finding a way for him to stay IN was like looking for a needle in a haystack. He seemed to do better once we moved to a house where he COULD go out and run around freely. Of course, that isn't always a feasible option for everyone. Now he's 6, high functioning, so I am a little more relaxed w/ him, but not too much! Do you have a link to the story? ~ > > I am really upset, There was a little four year old autistic boy > wearing nothing but a diaper who got out of his house around four am > Saturday morning and walked about a half a mile and was hit by a car, > the driver never stopped. Now I know my daughter has gotten out of the > house, but she has never gotten far without someone running after her > and we have locks that cant be opened without a key so she isnt going > anywhere at night. It really bothers me when this kind of stuff > happens and I wonder where his Mother was and how he got so far away > from home without someone missing him. Normaly I dont think that the > parent is always at fault when things happen to kids because I live > with autism every day and does things that I sometimes cannot > control but this time I feel his caregiver should be help accountable. > Maybe I am wrong, just my opinion Hope I didnt step on anybody's > toes here and upset anyone but these things are happening too often > and I get so upset when I realise how easy it would be to lose my > child. Thanks y'all Sharon > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 I understand what you are saying. I know there are many careless parents out there but without knowing what it is like in their shoes, we ought to not be so quick to judge (I'm not saying you are judging but just reminding the group to be careful - myself included). Some of our kids are escape artists but we don't know it until the first time it happened. Some kids are so clever that no matter what we try, they get out. Was this the first time or was this a regular thing? My son is 7 years old and have never even left his room in the middle of the night. He does however try to run off when walking to and from our car. I have to hold his hand tightly so he will not run off. He struggles and I often get looks from people as if I am abusive. If I don't hold him tight, I am negligent because he ran in the street but if I do hold him tight I run the risk of having CPS called on me. There is no way to avoid being judged. I have a friend that lived in a two-story house. Her autistic daughter wanted to strip naked and stand in the window on the second floor. For months she tried in desparation to find a solution. Neighbors were calling in complaints and she knew it was only a matter of time till CPS would get called. She is a single mom so taking turns sleeping was not an option. I think one of the things she considered trying was putting her in a crib with a cover over it but I think she didn't because at her age it would be considered imprisonment. I don't remember all the things she tried but the last effort was to move a bookshelf in front of her bedroom window. Unfortunately her daughter was strong and just pushed it away. She had no choice but to move to a single floor house. For a single parent of 3 kids that is a major expense. I'm sure the neighbors all talked about her but she was desparately seeking government assistance for behavioural therapy with no luck and asking everyone she knew for ideas. It is true that we are hearing more and more stories like this. I wonder though if it is that parents are getting more careless or is it because more and more kids are becoming autistic. 15 years ago, the statistics were something like 1 in 10,000 but now it is 1 in 166. It would make sense that more accidents will happen like this because the fact of the matter is many autistic kids have no concept of danger. > > I am really upset, There was a little four year old autistic boy > wearing nothing but a diaper who got out of his house around four am > Saturday morning and walked about a half a mile and was hit by a car, > the driver never stopped. Now I know my daughter has gotten out of the > house, but she has never gotten far without someone running after her > and we have locks that cant be opened without a key so she isnt going > anywhere at night. It really bothers me when this kind of stuff > happens and I wonder where his Mother was and how he got so far away > from home without someone missing him. Normaly I dont think that the > parent is always at fault when things happen to kids because I live > with autism every day and does things that I sometimes cannot > control but this time I feel his caregiver should be help accountable. > Maybe I am wrong, just my opinion Hope I didnt step on anybody's > toes here and upset anyone but these things are happening too often > and I get so upset when I realise how easy it would be to lose my > child. Thanks y'all Sharon > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Hello Sharon, How is the little boy? I hope he wasn't killed...... I had this happen with my son Marty, when he was about 3 years old. He had lots of problems then, but since it was all new to us we did not realize that if he was to wake up in the night, he would open the front door and walk out! He slept in a room with his two older brothers. I have no idea how long he was gone, when I woke up the sun was up and I went to check on the kids and saw he was gone, and the door was open. So then I went out it screaming his name, and my husband and two other boys followed and all of us were in our pajamas and it was Sunday morning. Dogs started barking and people started looking out as I ran in to call the police. And they had him, thank God! Some people had seen him walking down the middle of the road and couldn't figure out where he came from, and he could not tell them so they took him to the right place. I remember when the cop put him into my arms, he said, "Is there something wrong with him?" And I said, "Yep," and went in the house. Sometimes people just have to learn, nobody told us to look out for this, I didn't know he could unlock the door by himself. Man, wonder why my hair is all totally gray now! Carolyn My turn to rant I am really upset, There was a little four year old autistic boy wearing nothing but a diaper who got out of his house around four am Saturday morning and walked about a half a mile and was hit by a car, the driver never stopped. Now I know my daughter has gotten out of the house, but she has never gotten far without someone running after her and we have locks that cant be opened without a key so she isnt going anywhere at night. It really bothers me when this kind of stuff happens and I wonder where his Mother was and how he got so far away from home without someone missing him. Normaly I dont think that the parent is always at fault when things happen to kids because I live with autism every day and does things that I sometimes cannot control but this time I feel his caregiver should be help accountable. Maybe I am wrong, just my opinion Hope I didnt step on anybody's toes here and upset anyone but these things are happening too often and I get so upset when I realise how easy it would be to lose my child. Thanks y'all SharonMessages in this topic (1) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Wow Annie, I can relate. I started putting a rope around my son's waist and tying it to the bedframe when we moved here on account of he jumped out our upstairs window shortly after we moved here. It was a soft rope, he wore it for years. Now he can't get out of bed alone so doesn't need it anymore. Is your hair gray too I wonder? Carolyn Re: My turn to rant > Sharon wrote: > > > > > > I am really upset, There was a little four year old autistic boy > > wearing nothing but a diaper who got out of his house around four am > > Saturday morning and walked about a half a mile and was hit by a car, > > the driver never stopped. Now I know my daughter has gotten out of the > > house, but she has never gotten far without someone running after her > > and we have locks that cant be opened without a key so she isnt going > > anywhere at night. It really bothers me when this kind of stuff > > happens and I wonder where his Mother was and how he got so far away > > from home without someone missing him. Normaly I dont think that the > > parent is always at fault when things happen to kids because I live > > with autism every day and does things that I sometimes cannot > > control but this time I feel his caregiver should be help accountable. > > When Louie was 4, he went travelling whether it was light or dark out! > And one time we were awakened by police at the foot of our bed at 3 in > the morning, asking us what our son was doing standing with his dog on > the center line of a busy street five blocks away and backing up traffic > for miles in both directions. Dressed in a diaper. We didn't know he > was out. He was asleep when we went to bed. Our apt. complex wouldn't > OK padlocks on the inside of our doors, and there was no way to lock the > windows....and we were on the ground floor. He could (and still can) > pick any non-key lock there is, including combination locks of all kinds > (he's very patient). He'd get into apartments too, ones where the > people weren't home, and watch TV early in the a.m., read their > magazines and papers, and sleep a bit on the floor. And we'd be frantic > trying to find him; his longest " hide and seek " lasted almost 4 hours. > > Who knew our son would do that? Certainly not us! He'd never done it > before, in the middle of the night (it was the first of his night time > voyages). We did sleep in shifts, but it made it hard on the one of us > working during the week (me) and tough on the person who had to work > till all hours on the weekend (my dh, a pro musician). It almost did us > in. And when we thought we had it whipped and started sleeping at > night, guess what? Right. He did this until he was 12 years old, when > he finally stopped doing it. We were really worried by then because he > was big enough that someone might have shot him as a burglar. > > Parents must sleep sometimes too. And they shouldn't be blamed if their > child goes travelling when they do. Some things cannot be forseen or > easily prevented. Some things you just have to get through until they > fade out. Being hassled by the cops and/or CYFD is just the thing we > *didn't* need in this situation. > > Just my opinion. ymmv > > Annie, who loves ya annie@... > -- > “If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You > may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call > 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -- Pickford > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 You remind me of another story with my son Marty. He never liked to walk to the car or from the car, just didn't want to cooperate at all. Well one day we were at the park, and he was in a particularly resistant mood, and as was his usual custom he decided to lay on his back and roll on the black top while kicking and screaming at us as we lunged to try and get ahold of him. We were only trying to get him into the car so he could leave. Well a couple of women came up to us and began to bawl us out, and said they were going to report us to the authorities for beating up on our child, and we weren't even hitting him at all. My husband and I both had to laugh at that. Memories, memories. Sigh. Carolyn Re: My turn to rant I understand what you are saying. I know there are many careless parents out there but without knowing what it is like in their shoes, we ought to not be so quick to judge (I'm not saying you are judging but just reminding the group to be careful - myself included). Some of our kids are escape artists but we don't know it until the first time it happened. Some kids are so clever that no matter what we try, they get out. Was this the first time or was this a regular thing?My son is 7 years old and have never even left his room in the middle of the night. He does however try to run off when walking to and from our car. I have to hold his hand tightly so he will not run off. He struggles and I often get looks from people as if I am abusive. If I don't hold him tight, I am negligent because he ran in the street but if I do hold him tight I run the risk of having CPS called on me. There is no way to avoid being judged.I .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 thank god that my daughter has never attempted to leave the house by herself, but i do know many people who have had this issue. when she was younger (she's 12 now) i did worry about her waking up before me and doing something dangerous without me hearing her, so i reversed the door knob to her room so i could lock it from the outside. this way i would hear her knocking or crying or something, so i could open the door. this way she couldn't wander around the house without me knowing. obviously if i child can pick the lock or something this won't work, lol. but fortunately, my daughter has never had that skill, lol. I LOVE SOMEONE WITH AUTISM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Carolyn wrote: > Wow Annie, I can relate. I started putting a rope around my son's > waist and tying it to the bedframe when we moved here on account of > he jumped out our upstairs window shortly after we moved here. It was > a soft rope, he wore it for years. Now he can't get out of bed alone > so doesn't need it anymore. > > Is your hair gray too I wonder? > Yeah, but it would be anyway. I turned 58 in March. Right now I'm just hoping I can *keep* my hair! (I'm doing Pegasys/Ribavirin therapy for my HCV). Annie, who loves ya annie@... -- “If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -- Pickford Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 I understand your concern and wondering where his mother was, but it was the middle of the night, and she was probably sleeping and never heard him escape and leave. So sad, and this could happen to any of us. in IL **** > wearing nothing but a diaper who got out of his house around four am> Saturday morning and walked about a half a mile and was hit by a car,> the driver never stopped. Now I know my daughter has gotten out of the> house, but she has never gotten far without someone running after her> and we have locks that cant be opened without a key so she isnt going> anywhere at night. It really bothers me when this kind of stuff> happens and I wonder where his Mother was and how he got so far away> from home without someone missing him. Normaly I dont think that the> parent is always at fault when things happen to kids because I live> with autism every day and does Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.