15 year old son resisting treatment

[Guest guest]

I am new to group. I have OCD. I'm a checker. Medication has helped

me tremendously with checking but I still have thoughts which

trouble me. I feel guilty for thinking certain thoughts.

My son is 15. His issue is contamination. He's a hand washer. His

symtoms are not severe. If you'd didn't live with him you wouldn't

know he had a problem. It's not that he spends hours in the

bathroom. He does take 1/2 hour showers and washes his hands when

there doesn't seem to be any reason to be washing them. He puts a

piece of paper over the mouse when he sits down at the computer. I

could go on but he definitely has OCD. He was diagnosed with it when

he was 11. It went away but seemed to come back when he entered

hight school.

Our concern is that he doesn't think he has a problem. We took him

to a therapist who told us that she couldn't help him because he

wouldn't open up to her. He won't even talk to us about it. It's a

very uncomfortable subject for him. It does affect him. We went to a

parent teacher conference and his social studies teacher said she

doesn't know how he's going to make it through college boards

because he's so slow when taking tests. Does anyone have any

suggestions for getting him to treatment? Know of any books, etc

that deal with this? Or simply good books about parenting a teenager

who has OCD.

Thank you

Sheila

Pittsburgh

Sheila

Pittsburgh

[Guest guest]

I have some similar challenges with my 14 y/o son.

Mine is willing to read selected sections of OCD books

that I give him and emails from this group and the

teen group that I forward to his computer. Maybe you

could try this because it might not feel so

confrontational to him. It's a rebellious time of

life so our psychologist suggested being careful not

to make it an issue to rebel about.

We can't do much unless they want to help themselves.

We can make sure we're not enabling while still

holding some of the reigns tho.

Lynn

--- smac31416 <elmccall@...> wrote:

---------------------------------

I am new to group. I have OCD. I'm a checker.

Medication has helped

me tremendously with checking but I still have

thoughts which

trouble me. I feel guilty for thinking certain

thoughts.

My son is 15. His issue is contamination. He's a hand

washer. His

symtoms are not severe. If you'd didn't live with him

you wouldn't

know he had a problem. It's not that he spends hours

in the

bathroom. He does take 1/2 hour showers and washes his

hands when

there doesn't seem to be any reason to be washing

them. He puts a

piece of paper over the mouse when he sits down at the

computer. I

could go on but he definitely has OCD. He was

diagnosed with it when

he was 11. It went away but seemed to come back when

he entered

hight school.

Our concern is that he doesn't think he has a problem.

We took him

to a therapist who told us that she couldn't help him

because he

wouldn't open up to her. He won't even talk to us

about it. It's a

very uncomfortable subject for him. It does affect

him. We went to a

parent teacher conference and his social studies

teacher said she

doesn't know how he's going to make it through college

boards

because he's so slow when taking tests. Does anyone

have any

suggestions for getting him to treatment? Know of any

books, etc

that deal with this? Or simply good books about

parenting a teenager

who has OCD.

Thank you

Sheila

Pittsburgh

Sheila

Pittsburgh

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[Guest guest]

Sheila, is he worried about testing taking so much time? Maybe that

might be a motivator?? Of course he could seek accommodations for

it. Do you know what is slowing him down (the reading, the

writing...)? In middle school, my son's reading speed and writing

speed went down. I'm not sure reading has fully recovered!

I think with most kids/teens (even adults), their OC behaviors have

got to get really distressing for *them* before they will seek any

help. The first time around with OCD with my son was in middle

school. He wouldn't talk much at all about it, closed-mouthed. Now

at 17, OCD has reared up with new stuff and he's actually taking

more of an interest in talking about it a bit - at least letting me

know it's bothering him - and is actually interested in reading

about it. He's a type that is interested in medicine though, so

reading about how the " brain is involved " is more his interest. I

can give him things to read and tell him things that I've found

about how therapy works, what he can try for his " bad thoughts " and

so on, but I don't think he's really trying any right now or at

least *pushing* himself as hard as he might. At least when he's

alone!

We might not *see* it but our kids are always battling back at OCD

in some ways. They might put that sheet of paper over the mouse and

not seem to fight that OC demand, but I'm sure when he's doing his

schoolwork that he is struggling and bossing OCD then so that he

*can* get through and done, slow or not.

Just some quick thoughts, hope it makes sense somewhat. My son is

battling scrupulosity/religious things now and is being distracted a

lot at school (bad thoughts).

>

> I am new to group. I have OCD. I'm a checker. Medication has

helped

> me tremendously with checking but I still have thoughts which

> trouble me. I feel guilty for thinking certain thoughts.

>

> My son is 15. His issue is contamination. He's a hand washer. His

> symtoms are not severe. If you'd didn't live with him you wouldn't

> know he had a problem. It's not that he spends hours in the

> bathroom. He does take 1/2 hour showers and washes his hands when

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

I didn't face my OCD until I was 35 years old. After my son was born

the OCD was really bad. Believe it or not I had never heard of OCD. I

guess I just thought it was me and was ashamed of it.

I gather from your post that your son isn't willing to go for therapy

either. I get so frustrated and angry with my son sometimes. He's such

a procrastinator about doing homework . He wants to wait until 9:00 pm

to start his homework which doesn't work because at that point he's

falling asleep. He complained about us bugging him about doing his

homework so we stopped saying anything for a while. That didn't work at

all so now we're back to telling him he has to do some homework before

dinner.

I think his OCD plays a role in his procrastination or maybe it's just

being a teenager. Anyways he just started his math homework at 9:00 pm.

Before that he was in the bathroom for a half an hour. I don't know why

it takes so long him so long to go to the bathroom. He flushed the

toilet quite a few times. Going to the toilet for him is a major

operation. I am proud of myself for not saying anything about it to

him. I know yelling at him won't do any good. That's why I'm posting

this. Better to vent than to yell at him. I just try to remember that

I need to love him unconditionally.

Thanks for listening

Sheila

> >

> > I am new to group. I have OCD. I'm a checker. Medication has

> helped

> > me tremendously with checking but I still have thoughts which

> > trouble me. I feel guilty for thinking certain thoughts.

> >

> > My son is 15. His issue is contamination. He's a hand washer. His

> > symtoms are not severe. If you'd didn't live with him you wouldn't

> > know he had a problem. It's not that he spends hours in the

> > bathroom. He does take 1/2 hour showers and washes his hands when

> >

>