Guest guest Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 Just thought this post from Dr. Claiborn on the (really wonderful) OCD-Support list might be interesting to some other parents besides myself: " People with OCD will find something to obsess about and family doesn't need to try to protect them by being careful what they talk about. " If I survive this life without dying I will be surprised. Mullah Nasrudin Jim Claiborn Ph.D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 What is this " (really wonderful) OCD-Support list " ??? Is it for adults? or families? or what? what is the name of it?? ((always looking for more!)) > > Just thought this post from Dr. Claiborn on the > (really wonderful) OCD-Support list might be > interesting to some other parents besides myself: > > > " People with OCD will find something to obsess about > and family doesn't need to try to protect them by > being careful what they talk about. " > > > If I survive this life without dying I will be > surprised. > Mullah Nasrudin > Jim Claiborn Ph.D. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2006 Report Share Posted March 16, 2006 In a message dated 3/16/2006 1:30:13 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, k777thorpe@... writes: What is this " (really wonderful) OCD-Support list " ??? Is it for adults? or families? or what? what is the name of it?? - This is the link to the OCD Support group: _OCD-Support/_ (OCD-Support/) It is pretty big - I switched over to the parenting group because the other one was mostly adults (although you did get some folks with kids), and it just got to be too much email. I would log on & have 140 new mail (50% of which was from the group). The doctors are VERY active on that board too, which is nice. They participate & respond to most of the messages even if they're not directed to them. It just didn't center on kids & that's what I needed. I hope this helped. LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 16, 2006 Report Share Posted March 16, 2006 It's OCD-Support It's a servelist(I think it's called) just like this one but mostly adult sufferers talking/supporting each other. LOTS of info about ERP and LOTS of insight (for me) into the mind of OCs -- so that I can understand my child's inner world better. They are happy to include familie members questions although if questions are mostly about parenting they will gently guide you back to this site. One of the best parts is the two doctors (Jenike and Claiborn) who regularly answer posts. Lynn --- klwicklund77 <k777thorpe@...> wrote: --------------------------------- What is this " (really wonderful) OCD-Support list " ??? Is it for adults? or families? or what? what is the name of it?? ((always looking for more!)) > > Just thought this post from Dr. Claiborn on the > (really wonderful) OCD-Support list might be > interesting to some other parents besides myself: > > > " People with OCD will find something to obsess about > and family doesn't need to try to protect them by > being careful what they talk about. " > > > If I survive this life without dying I will be > surprised. > Mullah Nasrudin > Jim Claiborn Ph.D. > Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: / .. Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 I am catching up on my list reading, forgive me for responding to an older post. But I am frustrated! Our 9-year-old son's therapist (whom we generally like) is telling us how we need to " shelter him from things that he will take too literally " and therefore increase his anxieties (e.g. news on TV, violent video games, etc). Later on we're talking about playdates and I am venting a little about how moms of classmates call and say " bring DS over and the boys can play together " -- but they expect me to leave him there in the home of someone I don't know, doing God-knows-what. So the psych starts telling me that my feelings are (essentially) unhealthy and that " children pick up on our anxieties even when we think we're hiding them " . OK, so I am supposed to insulate him, but not overprotect him? How exactly do I do that?? Arrgh!! Should I show her Dr. Claiborn's quote? ;-) OK, I feel better now. Momentarily. Thanks, > > Just thought this post from Dr. Claiborn on the > (really wonderful) OCD-Support list might be > interesting to some other parents besides myself: > > " People with OCD will find something to obsess about > and family doesn't need to try to protect them by > being careful what they talk about. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Hi , I can remember when my sons were in elementary school and I was the same way about playdates with people/families I didn't know. I wanted an address/phone number, etc., before I would let them go. Forget spending the night the first time over there. And I assume other parents would have felt the same about us inviting someone over. I did ease up as my sons got older and I felt they could call me if they were uncomfortable while there, etc. And also when they were older or I felt they were mature enough to understand (maturity varied per son), explained how I was concerned about possible situations/family life they could get into while visiting/sleeping over. (really, I was married - now divorced - to an alcoholic, so I know situations can arise any time of the day) What you can do is when someone invites your son over, maybe suggest that their child come over to your home that day (give a " white lie " as to it'd be more convenient that day for your family...) which will give you a chance to be around the child, see how they interact, ask about their family.... That said, I'm wondering why the doctor mentioned your son might take things too literally?? Does he have that tendency? When my Aspie son was young (he's 17 now), he had that tendency so I did have to watch how things were said/phrased. I'm a bit puzzled over his suggesting you avoid some apparent triggers around your son but yet urges you to let him go over to others' homes (or whatever), as there would be no 100% avoidance of any triggers (news, video games) there. Show him Dr. C's quote! What type OC problems/anxieties is your son having? My son had a lot of compulsions/rituals when younger. He had a feeling that something bad would happen to him and had to get a " just right " feeling with his OC behavior. As to triggers, he did avoid some things but he could be happily watching a favorite TV show and then I'd see some little " OCD movement. " I even saw him do it in his sleep before. I thought, " poor kid, can't even get away from it while he sleeps, he's dreaming it! " Just what all has your psych been working on with your son regarding his OCD? single mom, 3 sons , 17, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers , 17 (twin, not identical) Randall, soon to be 21! > > I am catching up on my list reading, forgive me for responding to an > older post. But I am frustrated! Our 9-year-old son's therapist > (whom we generally like) is telling us how we need to " shelter him > from things that he will take too literally " and therefore increase > his anxieties (e.g. news on TV, violent video games, etc). Later on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 > What type OC problems/anxieties is your son having? My son had a lot > of compulsions/rituals when younger. He had a feeling that something > bad would happen to him and had to get a " just right " feeling with > his OC behavior. As to triggers, he did avoid some things but he > could be happily watching a favorite TV show and then I'd see some > little " OCD movement. " I even saw him do it in his sleep before. I > thought, " poor kid, can't even get away from it while he sleeps, he's > dreaming it! " Mostly anxiety about us (parents) dying, war, the poor children lost in the hurricanes, what if there was an earthquake and I was in LA and he's at home in the 'burbs and what if I go to heaven and he doesn't and will the dog go to heaven too.... You get the idea. We stopped watching TV news at home, that has helped. It's helped me, too -- all the stories about " children in peril " were making ME rather anxious! He has a lot of the magical thinking (years ago he had a dream about a monster in my closet, so he came up with this elaborate ritual " if I get mom to take her earrings off before she goes into her closet, then I won't have a bad dream... " . I had no idea why the first thing he said to me when I got home was " Hi Mom, take off your earrings " ). He is a finger/lip picker, big-time. Of course, I have been picking my fingers for years, no doubt there is some OCD in my family.... He was picking his eyelashes but hasn't done that in a while. He also has some scrupulosity ( " If I think about a sin is that the same thing as doing it? " ) but it's not too intrusive. He also has ADHD and epilepsy -- I understand that trio of diagnoses is not uncommon. The reason we went to the therapist in the first place was due to his phobia about bees. Probably tied to the fears about dying ( " killer bees " and all that). We hardly could go outside last summer, he was so vigilant about avoiding bees. So we're doing gradual exposures, gathering evidence about how many times we've been around flowers, etc without being stung, etc. It's working -- but it's still pretty early in the spring.... We are most grateful to the therapist for finally put a name to all his " quirks " . He has been on Anafranil since December and there has been a dramatic improvement. We hadn't told anyone at his school about the OCD diagnosis or the new meds, and I started hearing things like " Did you change his ADHD medicine, it's like night and day " and " I never noticed what a great sense of humor he has! " . I think he is finally able to show his real personality, not just sitting there picking and ruminating. OK, I'll stop rambling now ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 - My daughter (14) has similar fears/anxieties about death, but her fears are more centered around people getting sick and THEN dying - not necessarily some type of disaster. I completely agree with you about watching the news, etc on TV. I fine myself quickly changing the channel when she walks into the room & there is a " bad news " story on that I think will promote her fears. And I'm also right with you about all the stories about kids (kidnappings, abuse, etc) that make ME feel like I want to hide in the closet sometimes (...should I take my earrings off first?? :-) ) LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 , " ramble on " , I tend to do that a lot too, LOL! This is a good place to " ramble " !! I'm glad your son is doing better. And that's soooo true about showing " real personality " once OCD can retreat. And it must be making a huge difference for others to comment about! > We are most grateful to the therapist for finally put a name to all > his " quirks " . He has been on Anafranil since December and there has > been a dramatic improvement. We hadn't told anyone at his school > about the OCD diagnosis or the new meds, and I started hearing things > like " Did you change his ADHD medicine, it's like night and day " and > " I never noticed what a great sense of humor he has! " . I think he is > finally able to show his real personality, not just sitting there > picking and ruminating. > > OK, I'll stop rambling now ;-) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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