Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Men have no choice but to step up. Anything less is complete cowardice. You don't run from a problem. 80% single!!! I am single raising my three children. I also have 5 girlfriends doing the same. We never get together or ever get a chance to get out. All the men in our lives couldn't step up, many of us had healthy relationships but when it came to raising our son's who range from low to high functioning they just couldn't or wouldn't help. The youngest child in my circle of single friends is 10. Maybe because years ago we just did not have the resources that are available now.DAN dr.'s were just starting, computers were nothing like today. The few books that were out on autism did very little to help! ABA was huge and OT was rarley considered. We had no answers!!I am not man bashing!!! My Dad has been the biggest help, and I see dads helping, especially here so many caring dads and grandpa's. Trina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Yes!! Thank you!! In my case it was help or get the ****! out of my way!!! > > Men have no choice but to step up. > Anything less is complete cowardice. > You don't run from a problem. > > > 80% single!!! > > > I am single raising my three children. I also have 5 girlfriends > doing the same. We never get together or ever get a chance to get > out. > > All the men in our lives couldn't step up, many of us had healthy > relationships but when it came to raising our son's who range from low > to high functioning they just couldn't or wouldn't help. > > The youngest child in my circle of single friends is 10. Maybe > because years ago we just did not have the resources that are > available now. > > DAN dr.'s were just starting, computers were nothing like today. The > few books that were out on autism did very little to help! ABA was > huge and OT was rarley considered. We had no answers!! > > I am not man bashing!!! My Dad has been the biggest help, and I see > dads helping, especially here so many caring dads and grandpa's. > > Trina > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 My husband is a wonderful help. My son's father couldn't deal with it, but my current husband has totally stepped up to the plate. He makes sure I don't have to work so I can be home when my son gets home from school. Not all men are created equal. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 He's a keeper! Re: 80% single!!! My husband is a wonderful help. My son's father couldn't deal with it, but my current husband has totally stepped up to the plate. He makes sure I don't have to work so I can be home when my son gets home from school. Not all men are created equal. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 I, too, am a single parent. My son, 26, with autism, was 5 at the time. He has a younger brother, now 23, who does not have autism. I divorced when they were 5 and 2 1/2. It is hard to believe that now. I truly don't know how I did it when they were young, what with getting, keeping and changing jobs; constantly fighting to get child support from their out-of-state father, etc. To ensure he had college $, my youngest son joined the Navy. (9/11 postponed his enlistment date by 1 month.) The stress of it all is something I think I still fight. I never had migraines until they were teenagers. Only last year did I get tested to see why I was so tired all the time. I turns out I was Vitamin B-12 deficient and neede shots, but now I take a sublinquil pill daily. I have sinus problems I'll get straightened out tomorrow which may mean I'll need to take Vitamin K and calcium pills forever to fix a possible blood clot problem. As we all know, with autism in the family we cannot afford to be sick or down. Plus, we gotta work. I had no real support from my family members in the true sense of the word, but they did start giving $ to my sons a few years ago for important events, like the recent party for my youngest son's enrollment in NY's Culinary Institute of America yesterday! I even pondered the idea of calling my ex to suggest he send my youngest son $200/month to help him along. (No, we never had anything in out ridiculous Settlement Agreement decades ago about a college fund for my youngest son, so I refinanced to help pay $14,000 for CIA and other things. My son is supposed to get a weekend-only aide starting this month. I can't figure what happened with that. The funding was approved by MD. I decided to go to college myself. I think I have 1 more year of allocated and elective classes for a business administration degree. Initially, I thought it would be in case my son decided to open a restaurant he might need help. Then I just sort of decided I'd see about going on to law school, doing labor/employment law (my health permitting) and then ADA/sp ed pro bono. I think we all need $1,000,000 each to help us with our children with autism forever. We could sure use it instead of all this refinancing stuff and maing out our credit cards. Given the alternative, though, I'll stay single until I become a widow with a son with autism. Then the Social Security Administration, since I was married over 10 years, will pay me widow's benefits! It's not $1,000,000 all at once, but I'll take it for my son's sake. Oddly, my youngest son still supports his father, swearing he'll go see him in LV, NV, sometimes on breaks from the CIA. Why? msherrett. ________________________________________________________________________ Check out the new AOL. Most comprehensive set of free safety and security tools, free access to millions of high-quality videos from across the web, free AOL Mail and more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 80%? Can anyone site the source of this? Is this an estimate? Even though people say this country has a 50% divorce rate, that doesn't mean 50% of people get divorced. Think of everyone you know w/2nd, 3rd, or more marriages. Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think - http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html Carolyn p.s. I work w/statistics all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 Carolyn, I got the number from the ABC " Good Morning America " clip that ran several weeks ago: http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2286327 Kelli > > 80%? Can anyone site the source of this? Is this an estimate? > > Even though people say this country has a 50% divorce rate, that > doesn't mean 50% of people get divorced. Think of everyone you know > w/2nd, 3rd, or more marriages. > > Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think - > http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html > > Carolyn > p.s. I work w/statistics all day. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 Liz Birt told me the divorce rate in the autism community was 80% when I was talking with her during a break at an autism seminar just a few months before she was killed. I never thought to ask her where she got her info. from because if you are one of the divorced parents - the divorce rate is 100% for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 It's challenging enough to raise an autistic child even WITH the help of your spouse! And at 12:00 midnight when you notice your child has smeared poop everywhere...it's really nice to have someone to help you change diapers and scrub the walls!!! (not to mention that it's nice being with someone you love!) > > Liz Birt told me the divorce rate in the autism community was 80% when > I was talking with her during a break at an autism seminar just a few > months before she was killed. I never thought to ask her where she got > her info. from because if you are one of the divorced parents - the > divorce rate is 100% for you. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 That's very interesting. Most of the people I know are divorced, however, that doesn't prove anything. It only proves that I know a lot of divorced people . Even if it is 80%, how did they get to that number? Re: 80% single!!! 80%? Can anyone site the source of this? Is this an estimate?Even though people say this country has a 50% divorce rate, that doesn't mean 50% of people get divorced. Think of everyone you know w/2nd, 3rd, or more marriages.Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think - http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.htmlCarolynp.s. I work w/statistics all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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