Re: How I would like to meet their Kieran

November 20, 2006

This is very common, Sue, have stood outside waiting for my turn at teacher's conferences and when the teacher was through giving her analysis of the student's progress I often heard "Are we talking about the same kid?"

I never had this, mine was exactly the same at home and school, but know plenty who experience this phenomenon of alter identities in their kids.

How I would like to meet their Kieran

We have just returned from a progress meeting at school (Year 1 in a special class within mainstream). We are absolutely stunned with the progress he has made since March. At that point they were extremely concerned about his complete lack of orientation. He managed to get lost from the cloakroom to his classroom (next door), and although he now lined up when the whistle went, he would stand in anyone's line, not his own class line. Last week he was class monitor, and had to take the register to the office, which involves crossing the school hall. The hall was occupied, and Kieran managed to find his way through all the adjoining classrooms, to circumnavigate the hall entirely. They were amazed, and so were we. No one can tell me that such a big difference is due to natural maturation. They are also amazed at his written work and knowledge of jolly phonics. He now sits on the table with the year 2 children because "he can get on with his work unassisted". EH? He rarely stims or scripts, and rarely refuses to join in activities. All this at a time where we are having more of the above problems. Still, if it means he is able to take advantage of his education, then they are problems we are happy to manage/endure at home.The more they told us about how well he was doing, the more I wanted to meet the Kieran they have. I love my lad to bits, and am thrilled that he can do so well in some environment somewhere, but I would love to see and talk with this alter ego myself. Does anyone else find it hard to recognise their child from the school description?Sue

November 21, 2006

That's been my experience also Peta, you wouldn't believe the stories I have been told, but to be fair they were much more far fetched than these ones.

I was told when was at his absolute worst, really suffering with his gut and head banging 24/7 that he enjoyed playing the violin and had a keen interest in judaism!!!!

He is in SLD completely non verbal with severe learning difficulties.

Having said that I do think good progress needs to be reported as well as difficulties and that is probably the case here.

Vicky

November 21, 2006

Hi Sue

I recently joined this group as I am interested in the possible

benefits of biomedical treatments to my child. Thus far I have not

given my child anything I am observing and trying to make sense of

what does what.

The other day the school sent home a kit we gave them to help teach

our child to take turns. It made me realise just how far we have

come. Like your child great progress has been made but that does not

mean you should under estimate the difficulties he will face.

School is the ideal place for an autistic child because of the

routine, this helps them make sense of it, they know what is coming

and what they have to do. Of course they still get distracted and can

go down a completely different route to the lesson plan. For our

child the learning support assistant is absolutely fundamental at

keeping focus and preventing distraction in the class.

Now consider home life, well there is some structure in the form of

meal times, but otherwise it is a free for all, especially if you have

siblings.

We do not want our child to be robotic but by providing some structure

at home we usually get improved results, this also helps the siblings.

Another factor is that your child has to let off a bit of steam when

they get home after sticking to all the rules during the day.

I think all autistic children develop with or without the biomedical

treatments. I think it happens at a much slower pace than

neurotypical children. I also think it can be helped when the child is

in an environment where there is routine and things that cause anxiety

are dealt with quickly.

Like most ASD parents we spend most of our time keeping the child

between two lines, avoiding or preparing for the unexpected and trying

to teach that the ability to adapt is a rule in itself.

>

> We have just returned from a progress meeting at school (Year 1 in a

> special class within mainstream). We are absolutely stunned with the

> progress he has made since March. At that point they were extremely

> concerned about his complete lack of orientation. He managed to get

> lost from the cloakroom to his classroom (next door), and although he

> now lined up when the whistle went, he would stand in anyone's line,

> not his own class line. Last week he was class monitor, and had to

> take the register to the office, which involves crossing the school

> hall. The hall was occupied, and Kieran managed to find his way

> through all the adjoining classrooms, to circumnavigate the hall

> entirely. They were amazed, and so were we. No one can tell me that

> such a big difference is due to natural maturation. They are also

> amazed at his written work and knowledge of jolly phonics. He now

> sits on the table with the year 2 children because " he can get on

> with his work unassisted " . EH? He rarely stims or scripts, and

> rarely refuses to join in activities. All this at a time where we

> are having more of the above problems. Still, if it means he is able

> to take advantage of his education, then they are problems we are

> happy to manage/endure at home.

> The more they told us about how well he was doing, the more I wanted

> to meet the Kieran they have. I love my lad to bits, and am thrilled

> that he can do so well in some environment somewhere, but I would

> love to see and talk with this alter ego myself.

> Does anyone else find it hard to recognise their child from the

> school description?

> Sue

>

November 21, 2006

Hi Sue

Call me a sceptic but if your child is very different at home then I

wouldn't really believe the teachers. My son is also in year I in

mainstream with a full time TA and they naturally want to praise the

child that they are looking after but I have said please tell me

really how it is. I want my child compared to his NT peers and I

want to know the bad and the good. Luckily our school is great - I

talk to the TA's every day - they even describe what his BM's are

like! My fiends son goes to a special school and they always say he

is as good as gold whereas at home he is wild.

Just my cynical thoughts!

Peta

-

-- In Autism Treatment , " magherabuoysue "

<GSWILKI@...> wrote:

>

> We have just returned from a progress meeting at school (Year 1 in

a

> special class within mainstream). We are absolutely stunned with

the

> progress he has made since March. At that point they were

extremely

> concerned about his complete lack of orientation. He managed to

get

> lost from the cloakroom to his classroom (next door), and although

he

> now lined up when the whistle went, he would stand in anyone's

line,

> not his own class line. Last week he was class monitor, and had

to

> take the register to the office, which involves crossing the

school

> hall. The hall was occupied, and Kieran managed to find his way

> through all the adjoining classrooms, to circumnavigate the hall

> entirely. They were amazed, and so were we. No one can tell me

that

> such a big difference is due to natural maturation. They are also

> amazed at his written work and knowledge of jolly phonics. He now

> sits on the table with the year 2 children because " he can get on

> with his work unassisted " . EH? He rarely stims or scripts, and

> rarely refuses to join in activities. All this at a time where we

> are having more of the above problems. Still, if it means he is

able

> to take advantage of his education, then they are problems we are

> happy to manage/endure at home.

> The more they told us about how well he was doing, the more I

wanted

> to meet the Kieran they have. I love my lad to bits, and am

thrilled

> that he can do so well in some environment somewhere, but I would

> love to see and talk with this alter ego myself.

> Does anyone else find it hard to recognise their child from the

> school description?

> Sue

>

November 21, 2006

This reminded me. My daughter spent a year in special school. She is

very unbalanced. Virtually no useful speech but a good swimmer,

trampolinist, musician etc -- anything that isn't mediated with speech.

Her special school teachers spoke " specialschoolese " When they said the

school had a music club they meant that there was a supervised room with

drums and keyboards in it where children who couldn't bear the

playground could go and lie on the floor. They assumed I spoke the same

language. When I said she played the piano they took it that she liked

to bang her head on the keys. When I said that she could swim and I

didn't want her to go to school swimming lessons because they didn't

teach proper strokes they concluded that she was frightened of water.

The children were all encouraged to believe that they would be doctors

and lawyers. The best way I can convey it would be that if a teacher

told you your child was " our little athletics champion " they would be

expressing pride in persuading him or her to put one foot in front of

another. I was never sure who they thought they were fooling or if they

believed it themselves.

It was like a fantasy world. I suppose it's better than " file and

forget " . Diagnose as vegetable and ignore. But pretending (though I

would love my daughter to do it) just seems a waste of space to me -- a

distraction from a square look at the problem and some possible real

progress.

Sally

> 't believe the stories I have been told, but to be fair they were much

> more far fetched than these ones.

> I was told when was at his absolute worst, really suffering with

> his gut and head banging 24/7 that he enjoyed playing the violin and

> had a keen interest in judaism!!!!

> He is in SLD completely non verbal with severe learning difficulties.

> Having said that I do think good progress needs to be reported as well

> as difficulties and that is probably the case here.

> Vicky

>

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November 21, 2006

In a message dated 21/11/2006 12:41:51 GMT Standard Time, peta3366@... writes:

Call me a sceptic but if your child is very different at home then I wouldn't really believe the teachers.

>>I would have wanted evidence day by day on this. We had a report fro annual review telling me Sam enjoyed plying a part in the play and taking photos at the beach. Wow?

YOu have to be kidding me I said what exactly did you do, hold the camera near his eye and press the button? yes. That translated to Sam taking photo's at the beach. I really think some of these teachers write this stuff to make themselves feel better. I had terrible trouble getting them to change the report but persisted - I don;t wnat the LEA thinking that is what they have acheived with my son when it was a complete load of dribble. Peta I am with you!

When they said he could swim I said I want video - the headteachers actually went and filed it for me with my camera - thats evidence and yeah he was swimming good and proper!

Cynic Mandi x

November 21, 2006

I agree with peta, - be sceptical.

Margaret

November 21, 2006

Dear

,

I don’t think all children with

autism develop without biomedical intervention. Tom was regressing fast before

we intervened.

Sara