RE: what's a mother to do???

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for sharing that wonderful story - - emphasizes the importance of perceptual frame of reference. Maybe you could design a protocol that could help her feel less depressed but not so perky in such an annoying way.

I hope/suspect that you and your daughter might be able to laugh at the irony some day.

Thanks again,

Parks

-----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ]On Behalf Of DuncanSent: Wednesday, March 08, 2006 11:39 AM Subject: what's a mother to do???

Hi list~

Just thought I'd share something personal....

I have 3 kids who needed NF for different reasons and its why I started doing neurofeedback. My oldest now in college used to have severe anxiety and panic attacks. Neurofeedback was able to help her with that, she says she no longer feels anxious.

Being a sophomore and a civil engineering student under a lot of stress she has shared that this semester she is struggling with depression. Knowing her, she has always been very introverted, a bit too serious and rather stoic, so I was not surprised. So when she came home on break I set her up with some protocols on her laptop and showed her how to do them herself (she has her own equipment at school). She called me today and said " I really don't like those protocols you gave me, I don't like the way they make me feel". Well, I was very concerned and thought perhaps she was having some bad reactions and I asked her "Oh No, why, what is happening?"

She said" I keep feeling these little bursts of happiness. It is very annoying and makes me feel like I'm a perky annoying cheerleader"

I assured her she will never come across as a perky cheerleader, (she is a typical serious engineer type).

I can laugh about it but it sure is frustrating as a parent when you would do anything to help your children achieve success and feel happy and this is what you get. :~)

~

[Guest guest]

Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different sensations/distorted beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there as a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new feelings?

[Guest guest]

Thanks P

I have told her to scale down to 10 min sessions instead of 20 so the happiness comes on more gradually.

I asked her.."do you know how many people would kill for 'little bursts of happiness'?"

Yes, we will be able to laugh at the irony, as long as she continues with the sessions. :~)

~

RE: what's a mother to do???

Hi ,

Thanks for sharing that wonderful story - - emphasizes the importance of perceptual frame of reference. Maybe you could design a protocol that could help her feel less depressed but not so perky in such an annoying way.

I hope/suspect that you and your daughter might be able to laugh at the irony some day.

Thanks again,

Parks

[Guest guest]

~

I think you are right.

My theory is that because she had such severe emotional sensations from very early on any emotion that's not subdued feels uncomfortable. She was very colicky (for 8 months) and was hypertonic as a baby and child, scared of loud noises, like the ocean the toilet flushing, the hairdryer etc and was even afraid of seeing different looking faces, etc... Until H.S. she had terrible separation anxiety. Although she does not have the anxiety any more, perhaps feelings were so strong, any now are uncomfortable to her? It will probably take time to appreciate the happiness.

~

Re: what's a mother to do???

Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different sensations/distorted beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there as a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new feelings?

[Guest guest]

,

I thought of Winnie Dunn's ideas of sensory sensitivity - sensory avoidance when you wrote about your daughter. You may already know about her work, including the Sensory Profile - if not, I've attached an article I found some time ago on line that may have some value to you.

Kirk

Re: what's a mother to do???

Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different sensations/distorted beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there as a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new feelings?

[Guest guest]

I try to be okay with their not feeling okay with the new feelings. If I can be accepting, even if they are not, then perhaps they will carry with them that acceptance that might grow if watered.

Kirk

Re: what's a mother to do???

Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different sensations/distorted beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there as a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new feelings?

[Guest guest]

Great question. I look forward to hearing the answers...

>

> From: lindamary8@...

> Date: 2006/03/09 Thu AM 10:49:11 EST

>

> Subject: Re: what's a mother to do???

>

> Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

>

> Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not

> feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different

sensations/distorted

> beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the

> positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there

as

> a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go

> of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new

> feelings?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kirk~

Looks like a great paper , printing it now. Thank you!!!

~

Re: what's a mother to do???

Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different sensations/distorted beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there as a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new feelings?

[Guest guest]

and all,

This is an interesting issue. In addition to raising the question of how you train someone like this, it makes one think about the importance of getting beyond a simple report of how the trainee felt after the session.

I have experienced this " feeling bad about feeling good " with several children that had hot temporals. (Which many of my kids have) With them I have learned to go very slowly. My first observation of this was with a 12 year old girl who had been in state custody since the age of five. She never relaxed. I remember feeling very pleased (this should have been my first warning sign ;-0) the first time I saw her sink limply into the chair during a session. I figured I had gotten it right. The next session, however, she actively fought the training; chewing her braces elastics, clenching her jaw, etc. I finally realized that she was terrified by feeling a loss of control that came with relaxation. With her, I had to stop that training for a while and then reintroduced it very gradually. Since then, I go very slowly with my wired kids. The first moment I see them start to relax, I stop. Each succeeding time I see if I can go a little longer.

When I have someone who is more cognitively/emotionally invested in change, talking about it can help. Most of my little ones, however, have very limited ability to do that.

Regards to all,

Kittredge

Bridgeside Counseling and Neurofeedback

13 Ocean Street

South Portland, Maine 04106

On 3/9/06, lindamary8@... <lindamary8@...> wrote:

Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different sensations/distorted beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there as a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new feelings?

[Guest guest]

~

We have been working with the frontal alpha reversal and the Balance is a protocol that some cant handle for more than 5 min and others beg for 20. Definitely in some cases, less is more.

~

Re: what's a mother to do???

and all,

This is an interesting issue. In addition to raising the question of how you train someone like this, it makes one think about the importance of getting beyond a simple report of how the trainee felt after the session.

I have experienced this "feeling bad about feeling good" with several children that had hot temporals. (Which many of my kids have) With them I have learned to go very slowly. My first observation of this was with a 12 year old girl who had been in state custody since the age of five. She never relaxed. I remember feeling very pleased (this should have been my first warning sign ;-0) the first time I saw her sink limply into the chair during a session. I figured I had gotten it right. The next session, however, she actively fought the training; chewing her braces elastics, clenching her jaw, etc. I finally realized that she was terrified by feeling a loss of control that came with relaxation. With her, I had to stop that training for a while and then reintroduced it very gradually. Since then, I go very slowly with my wired kids. The first moment I see them start to relax, I stop. Each succeeding time I see if I can go a little longer.

When I have someone who is more cognitively/emotionally invested in change, talking about it can help. Most of my little ones, however, have very limited ability to do that.

Regards to all,

Kittredge

Bridgeside Counseling and Neurofeedback

13 Ocean Street

South Portland, Maine 04106

On 3/9/06, lindamary8@... <lindamary8@...> wrote:

Cute story. Good answer to assure your daughter.

Is this not a common perdictament with clients? What is healthy might not feel normal/comfortable. How do others deal with different sensations/distorted beliefs which might create obstacles to enjoying the full effects of the positive benefits of neurofedback? Often these beliefs and feelings were there as a coping strategy. Pete often talks of the client not being ready to let go of things. So how do others deal with this so clients can be ok with the new feelings?