Re: Had 3rd grade teacher conference today

[Guest guest]

Hello and thanks for the 2 responses to mey earlier posting...I will answer

them as soon as I am able....I went to the confeence with 's 3rd grade

teacher this morning.....it is as bad or even worse than I expected.....for

the time being, I have cried til I can cry no more........I had to pull over

the van....sobbing. I am afraid the " end " of this is going to break 's

heart......she LOVES her " new " (for 2 yrs now) school and takes SUCH pride in

it....I KNOW I cant let her suffer and lag behind. Teacher and I will meet

with A Guidance counselor ASAP next week... looks like she will be evaluated

for a special ed SCHOOL and/ or program....just the change will devastate

her....had her 2 best friends move consecutively the last 2 yrs.....wasnt

" picked " for a relay team yesterday at school in PE and cried...lady " coach "

didnt approach her......I DID call her last night and talked...and was " nice "

but told her IF MY CHILD is crying, I want an ADULT to find out WHY and let

me know about it~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was hurt to be left

out (of course) and then went on to be " missing her Daddy " .............I was

right on target with her current school work being on 1st grade

level......THEN I pulled out her report cards, and her " assessment " from

Shands (teaching school Univ of Fl)...and teacher SAW her IQ and her reading,

reading comprehension, math, vocabulary, verbal, ETC skill levels and they

were at " grade level " and many ABOVE grade level. So there is something

happening here. Teacher says she did get those " checkmarks by her name on

board " for not paying attention......after the 3rd -4th reminder....but she

did not SAY " ok, NOW you are getting a checkmark by your name because you

have been told 3 times to get out your spelling book " ...etc.....I

understood. Though I saw where didnt relate the checkmark to the past 3

times...etc etc etc..

She said she cannot do alot with extra that is NOT in front of

the class for I.E. helping her without making her " look dumb " wo other kids

and embarrassing her)........plus they are moving so rapidly, she doesnt have

time to do alot of that.........I understood that...

I have to get to RE-do 2 papers over this

weekend..teacher has NO IDEA how hard that will be.....on and Me~!

and yes, I am doing " research " on IEP (individual education program) but

welcome any input on this whole " issue " ....I NEVER expected this as the last

2 school yrs couldNOT have BEEN BETTER!...she has always taken about 4 weeks

to get " situated " but then ok...but this is the start of the 4 th week of

school and I knew in my gut things are different " somehow " ...I just don't

know HOW....am struggling...many thanks for personal emails

and list replies!! thanks SO VERY much....love, Lee in Ocala Fl

" I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly,

acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all

I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a

grand thing. "

--Agatha Christie

[Guest guest]

Lee

There must have been earlier posts from you I cannot recall, but felt

responding to this one immediately very important.

You need to find a parent advocate immediately. Yes, this costs money, but

in the long run, it will save your child and you huge heartbreak.

Perhaps someone in Florida has some ideas about how to go about finding you

an advocate nearby you-- you do not have the luxury to learn about IEP's

right now without help. Perhaps your yellow pages, perhaps a search on the

web under advocate and Florida. Check with your high school and perhaps

neighboring districts as well-- there is an organization called SEPTA--

special education PTA-- they should have some suggestions for you. Your

child cannot be evaluated without your express written permission, by the

way, and this has to be decided on by a special committee called by the

school, usually consisting of her teacher, a special education chairman, a

psychologist, and a parent there for you.

On the other hand, if she is struggling in school, and miserable, I would not

automatically fight all the changes they are suggesting.

But you do need knowledgable help right now!

Ellen/NY

[Guest guest]

Lee,

Sounds like the teacher has some learning difficulties! Until you can get

things settled, speak with the school principal and see if she can

intervene. i've mentioned before contacting last years teacher and having

her speak with the new one, is this worth a try?

About re-doing the assignments - my advise is to use your common sense:

does she have to do it all, or will part serve the same purpose? Answering

10 questions on the same concept may be tooo much - 5 shows if she gets the

concept. Be assertive with the teacher and let her know that you surpervised

and this is what you determined was in her best interest.

We had ocd related difficulties with the middle school last year so I

took Adi out until everything was settled (new classroom and teacher). Maybe

could use a bit of a break, let her regain some self esteem, hopefully

be assigned a new teacher, and then start fresh.

Please dont let ignorant bullies push you down! You need to advocate for

your daughter and do everything - including using the various board

departments - until she is getting the education and resources she deserves.

I try and have everything documented with the school board social work

department - even if the worker doesnt have to intervene. Documentation if

very important for . Many parents have mentioned keeping a log of all

calls and memos for future reference.

You sound exhausted. So, what are you doing for youself? If you dont have

a counsellor - get one! Its in your best interest to contact someone with

experience in families dealing with 'invisable' disabilities (ocd would be

fantastic). To find a worker, try looking at community mental health

centres, through your religious organization, or hospital. Therapists may

be psychologists, social workers, licensed counsellors, chaplins, etc. The

fees are based on education, credentials, association, etc.

Try and take a break over the weekend. Spend some time on you, and doing

relaxing things with . Re-group and try fresh next week.

take care, wendy in canada wb4@...

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

Lee:

Ellen is absolutely right that you must get yourself an advocate. Here is the

info from the Pacer Center on their southern regional center who should be able

to direct you to someone local. Call them right away.

South Regional Center

Partners Resource Network, Inc.

1090 Longfellow Drive, Suite B

Beaumont, TX 77706-4819

(409) 898-4684 voice

(409) 898-4869 fax

E-mail: txprn@...

Janice S. Meyer, Regional Director

Beverly Elrod-, Technical Assistance Coordinator

J. Juarez, Multicultural TA Coordinator

AL, AR, FL, GA, LA, MS, NC, OK, SC, TN, TX, VA, WV

The school may not do an initial evaluation without your written consent

(although I don't think there's any reason NOT to). I would make sure it is

a full multifactored evaluation (MFE). They must explain the results to you and

they may NOT make any changes to your daughter's current situation

without your consent. This I would NOT give. They are required to place your

child in the least restrictive environment (LRE). What they

should be assessing is why she is suddenly working below grade level. What is

crucial is to get her on an IEP ASAP. All you need to do

is get a signed statement from her psychiatrist stating that she has OCD and

needs classroom accomodations under an IEP under the

classification other health impaired (OHI). For my son, these accomodations

include reduced work load, being graded on work completed, being

in an inclusion classroom (an LD teacher is in the room helping multiple

students -- he is in regular ed), etc. These are all tailored to

your chld's specific needs. NEVER go to a meeting without another person with

you. You may find that there are parent advocates locally. Take

someone you trust that can be cool headed. Go over strategies together before

any meeting. Make sure all communication with the school

is in writing, and document all phone calls. Start a binder that you keep all

of this information in. Include school work past and present (samples,

not everything), report cards, etc.. Be sure the school knows that your child

is on medication (if she is) and that you are working with a doctor

and/or therapist outside of school. Visit the wrightslaw website. Educate

yourself as fast as you can.

Good luck.

Jule in Cleveland

[Guest guest]

HI Lee:

is entitled to receive her education in the " least restrictive

environment " . I suggest you discuss the school situation immediately with

Dr. Shands and determine what you both feel the LRE is for .

Sometimes you just have to take a hard line with the school, this is tricky

as you do not want to provoke a defensive response from them as this really

gets in the way of effective problem solving.

I hope you can find a parent advocate to assist you in your dealings with

the school. This really helped me as I learned what Steve's rights were

and when the school was making the wrong (and often illegal)

interpretations. Depending on the situation, keeping her in her present

situation may or may not be the LRE for .

Yes, all this is upsetting for and you do need to grieve about it.

Getting a good assessment and developing suggested accommodations for the

teacher will help. For example it is a good idea for her to compliment

in front of the class. Also, if appropriate, getting her to mentor a

child in a lower grade or involving her in a school mediation program, can

be other ways of helping her sense of her own competency.

If you can keep the focus on and meeting her needs rather than the

teacher's inability to provide needed accommodations you can help them

focus on problem solving rather than finger pointing. Perhaps there is a

teacher or counselor at the school who can help this teacher learn

strategies to work with . Do you have the book, " Teaching the Tiger "

by Dr. Marilyn Dornbusch? This could be very helpful to both you and

's teacher.

Take care, aloha, Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 11:44 AM 08/25/2000 -0400, you wrote:

>Hello and thanks for the 2 responses to mey earlier posting...I will answer

>them as soon as I am able....I went to the confeence with 's 3rd grade

>teacher this morning.....it is as bad or even worse than I expected.....for

>the time being, I have cried til I can cry no more........I had to pull

over

>the van....sobbing. I am afraid the " end " of this is going to break 's

>heart......she LOVES her " new " (for 2 yrs now) school and takes SUCH pride

in

>it....I KNOW I cant let her suffer and lag behind. Teacher and I will meet

>with A Guidance counselor ASAP next week... looks like she will be evaluated

>for a special ed SCHOOL and/ or program....just the change will devastate

>her....had her 2 best friends move consecutively the last 2 yrs.....wasnt

> " picked " for a relay team yesterday at school in PE and cried...lady " coach "

>didnt approach her......I DID call her last night and talked...and was

" nice "

>but told her IF MY CHILD is crying, I want an ADULT to find out WHY and let

>me know about it~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was hurt to be left

>out (of course) and then went on to be " missing her Daddy " .............I was

>right on target with her current school work being on 1st grade

>level......THEN I pulled out her report cards, and her " assessment " from

>Shands (teaching school Univ of Fl)...and teacher SAW her IQ and her

reading,

>reading comprehension, math, vocabulary, verbal, ETC skill levels and they

>were at " grade level " and many ABOVE grade level. So there is something

>happening here. Teacher says she did get those " checkmarks by her name on

>board " for not paying attention......after the 3rd -4th reminder....but she

>did not SAY " ok, NOW you are getting a checkmark by your name because you

>have been told 3 times to get out your spelling book " ...etc.....I

>understood. Though I saw where didnt relate the checkmark to the

past 3

>times...etc etc etc..

> She said she cannot do alot with extra that is NOT in front of

>the class for I.E. helping her without making her " look dumb " wo other kids

>and embarrassing her)........plus they are moving so rapidly, she doesnt

have

>time to do alot of that.........I understood that...

> I have to get to RE-do 2 papers over this

>weekend..teacher has NO IDEA how hard that will be.....on and Me~!

>and yes, I am doing " research " on IEP (individual education program) but

>welcome any input on this whole " issue " ....I NEVER expected this as the

last

>2 school yrs couldNOT have BEEN BETTER!...she has always taken about 4 weeks

>to get " situated " but then ok...but this is the start of the 4 th week of

>school and I knew in my gut things are different " somehow " ...I just don't

>know HOW....am struggling...many thanks for personal emails

> and list replies!! thanks SO VERY much....love, Lee in Ocala Fl

>

> " I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly,

>acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all

>I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a

>grand thing. "

>--Agatha Christie

[Guest guest]

Here's another Florida resource.

Florida (CPRC)

Parent to Parent of Miami, Inc.

Janet Bell

c/o Sunrise Community

9040 Sunset Drive, Suite G

Miami, FL 33173

305-271-9797

305-271-6628 FAX

PtoP1086@...

Miami Dade and Monroe Counties

[Guest guest]

Hi Lee,

You are going through the hardest part of learning about/being the parent of

a school age child with OCD. There are so many things happening right now

for you that it is very overwhelming....and you HAVE to deal with them all

now because of the school issues and at the same time deal with the day to

day OCD existence with your daughter. I have been THERE. The school issues

are difficult to deal with until you can educate yourself on: 1. the laws

governing IEP's and the services that you can ask for; 2. what your child's

specific needs are in the classroom; 3. educating the school personnel about

OCD. I know this sounds overwhelming in itself but it is a start. There is

a great book: slaw:Special Education Law and they also have a web

address: www.wrightslaw.com. 'There a wealth of information on this site.

Also you can access Gail , M.D. through the OCfoundation site. She is

an educational psychologist and I went to her workshop at the conference in

Chicago and was so very impressed with her " dead on " observations and

insights about everyday school occurrences within the classroom for our

children. She has great advice for parents in their approach to working with

school personnel. I hope this helps you and stay as strong as you seem to be

and committed and all will turn out ok.

Take care,

Noelle

[Guest guest]

Lee - When a school district wants to evaluate your child for special

services, they must give you a brochure containing a list of your rights.

On that brochure, you will also find several phone numbers to call that will

enable to contact an advocate. Good luck. Eliza in WI

Re: Re: Had 3rd grade teacher conference today

> Lee

> There must have been earlier posts from you I cannot recall, but felt

> responding to this one immediately very important.

>

> You need to find a parent advocate immediately. Yes, this costs money,

but

> in the long run, it will save your child and you huge heartbreak.

>

> Perhaps someone in Florida has some ideas about how to go about finding

you

> an advocate nearby you-- you do not have the luxury to learn about IEP's

> right now without help. Perhaps your yellow pages, perhaps a search on

the

> web under advocate and Florida. Check with your high school and perhaps

> neighboring districts as well-- there is an organization called SEPTA--

> special education PTA-- they should have some suggestions for you. Your

> child cannot be evaluated without your express written permission, by the

> way, and this has to be decided on by a special committee called by the

> school, usually consisting of her teacher, a special education chairman, a

> psychologist, and a parent there for you.

>

> On the other hand, if she is struggling in school, and miserable, I would

not

> automatically fight all the changes they are suggesting.

>

> But you do need knowledgable help right now!

>

> Ellen/NY

>

>

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