Re: Holding back ??-long

[Guest guest]

, our son who is now 17 (snif, snif...my 'little' boy) had a AWESOME

kindergarten teacher. she had him almost reading, but not quite on grade level,

etc. 1st grade teacher was good also, but just not the go-getter as the kind.

teacher. We held him back and he did two years of kind. and his teacher,

basically just picked up where he left off and, similar to your grades 1-3

together class, it worked well for his skills. IN MY PERSONAL OPINION it was

much better for 's social skills etc. to hold him back at a younger age than

it would have as he got older and it was more obvious to the other kids and

considered a real stigma to have " failed " a grade (other kids don't understand

the hold back thing). I also believe that because he was way more

" mainstreamed " in the lower grades because the differences seem to me to get

bigger and bigger and more obvious the older gets, both academically and

socially. he is 17 now and finishing up 10th grade (our high school is grades

9-12 so this is 's second year at the high school). He will undoubtedly

stay in high school past his 18th birthday/12th grade year as we are just now

(this school year) really getting serious movement toward his transition from

school to work/life/independence/self-determination, etc. By this age, most all

of the students know him and even tho he is more segregated in his academic

classes by necessity, and acceptance is better. Also, I think by high school

(as opposed to those difficult middle school years...I'm an8-12th grade

teacher/librarian, too) the students are less likely to bully or shy away from

the special needs kids. Middle schoolers want to be " cool " and in my ezperience

that's when bullying, shunning, etc really kicks in because all of them at that

age are so insecure and want to " fit in " . Another reason I'm ok with him

staying more years in high school is that 12th graders will graduate and the new

kids moving into 9th grade won't really know how long he's been there or they

won't think he's still there because he " failed " , etc. They understand

different kinds of " finishing high school " experiences because we have

vocational programs, dual enrollment with high school and jr college in their

senior year, etc. so staying in a " transition " program is no different to our

high schoolers who are all breaking into their own " specialties " anyway.

Others of you may have competely different opinions and experiences and I

respect that. and our older daughter went to the school where I taught so

I am almost sure that that made his " middle school " years better because all of

the students knew all 3 of us and all of the staff and student body were way

more accepting and not wanting to do anything that would hurt all 3 of us as

opposed to some kid that no one knew and they could tease or whatever without

getting immediately jumped on about it.

Academically, I don't think you are going to be able to judge because you never

know who/what you will get for teachers or programs in the future. If you have a

good thing going, I say go with it. at 17 still has trouble with the

who/what/when/where questions and we are still working on that even tho he has

moved on with reading, etc. I think the WWWW questions are a more " abstract "

concept and, therefore, more difficult for our kids to master (i.e., death, a

sense of time (a day versus a week versus a year, etc.)

idk if any of this helps and I'm sorry for being so wordy. I'd be glad to

answer any questions I can about . Nothing is too personal. Good luck!

sohrmurphy@...

www.bayhavenkennel.com

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