Sibling Differences/Privileges

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone!

I don't often post simply because I haven't had many questions come up.

However, I am experiencing an issue right now that I would love some input on.

To refresh, because I am still relatively new, I have an 8 1/2 yr old daughter,

Grace, with DS & I have a recently turned 6 yr old son, Jay. I always knew

there would come a time when Jay would " out-pace " his big sister, so to speak, I

just wasn't expecting it so soon. I have never allowed the kids to play out

front by themselves, but recently Jay has been asking to be allowed to play out

front with some of his neighbor friends. He doesn't want me to come out to

watch him because he's not a baby (jeez mom no one else's mom is outside!) & he

wants to go play in his friends backyards. I feel confident in his

understanding of the rules (i.e. don't go in the street, only play in this kids

backyard, no where else, etc). I have let him go a few times & I just keep

walking down every 10 minutes to check on him. It is only a few houses down.

However, now Grace wants to go too. The problem is that I am not at all

comfortable affording her the same privileges because I do not trust her not to

go somewhere else, not to go inside the person's house, to stay out of the

street, etc. I need to accompany her or she needs to be watched & I do not feel

comfortable asking my neighbor if she can play too simply because I feel she

needs to be watched. I just don't think that it's their place or fair, if that

makes sense. Anyhow, she doesn't always understand why Jay is allowed to go &

she's not or why I stay with her but not with Jay. It has been so hard to see

the disappointment in her little eyes because she wants so badly to go out front

to play by herself, but I just can't let her do that! It's more difficult

because she is aware of the fact that she is the big sister, even though

physically, her little brother is now bigger than her. She told me it wasn't

fair. But we stress that fair is not always equal, however, that is a hard

concept for any kid to understand.

Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated

Thanks,

Shalanna in OH