a little about me

[Guest guest]

As y'all know, I'm new to the group. I decided a little about what

I want to tell you about me to help you get to know me better. So

far, I really like it here, and I love how supportive people are of

each other.

I've been told all my life I was overweight, even as a little kid.

THen one day, I found some pictures of me as a kid, and to my great

shock, I wasn't overweight. But by third grade I was. I was teased

and made fun of a lot growing up, and my parents solution was to

comfort me with food: cookies, ice cream, candy, fudge...whatever we

had that I wanted. By third grade, I really was fat. In 9th grade,

I passed the 200# mark. And I just kept getting bigger.

In college I started the dieting yo-yo, losing weight only to gain

back more. Today, I find myself weighing in (last time I was on a

scale) at 314#s. This is the heaviest I've ever been. To be

honest, it scares me. I know it's unhealthy, for me, because I lead

a sedentary lifestyle with little to no exercise and lots of sweets.

I'm forced to make changes, and have, as last year I was diagnosed

with Type II diabetes. So far, the doc has me on pills. Last time

I saw him was because my sugars were out of control, running in the

two and three hundreds. He did blood tests and my a1c came back as

8.5. I still need to do the follow-up appt but I'm scared to. When

I told him what my sugars were running, he put me on another pill in

addition to what I was already on. I'm scared he's going to put me

on insulin next.

Some of the changes I've made is less sweets, switching to Splenda

and diet soda, and eating healthier meals. This past spring I

worked my butt off preparing a garden, but didn't do much during the

summer when it was hot as the heat makes me sick.

Now the weather, for a few more days anyway, is nice enough to go on

walks, but nobody will go with me and it's boring by myself. I

can't join a gym because I don't have the money. (I'm on disability

for other reasons.) I'd love a treadmill, but again, no money for

it.

Ok. Think. What do I have that I can use or do? I could walk in

place...boring, but probably effective...Sweating to the

Oldies...fun, but way too advanced, just the warm up kills me...

wait a minute! In college, I did Nutri System...worked too...I lost

over 50#s... I can't afford to go back on their meal plan...but I am

a packrat... I could use their exercise tapes! <little light bulb

glowing brightly over my head> They have three workouts, and if I

remember right, while the first one is too advanced for me now, it

isn't as advanced as SttO...the music sucks, but I can put in a fun

CD...that's what I did in college...

That solves one problem. Now for another.

I don't have a scale, and can't get one. Does anyone know if you

can go to hospitals just to borrow their scales? I can't buy one

because one of my roommates has anorexic tendencies and it would

aggravate her problem. If not the hospital, any other ideas on

where to use a scale? As far as I know, there are no weight loss

groups based near where I live.

Instead of looking at the whole picture of having to lose 130#s, I'm

dividing it up. My first goal is to reach 295. I figure I can lose

20#s. Then I'll go down with 20-30# goals until I reach my goal.

Maybe by then, I'll know what I should weigh. LOL. I think I'm

supposed to be around 185, but I'm not sure. That's why I have to

divide it. I see how much I have to lose, and get overwhelmed and

feel like it's futile.

I am worried about the meds I'm on (all of them), as several make

you gain weight, but I think if I just get moving it will improve my

overall health.

Sorry for writing a novella. If you managed to read all this I hope

I didn't bore you to tears. Most of it was just thinking " out loud "

and trying to encourage myself.

I'm going to see if I can find the NS tape and get myself started

moving.

warm smiles,

Trish