[Norton AntiSpam] Re: [Fear} an interesting story about conquering it..

[Guest guest]

I had an interesting experience with a security guard at a mental

hospital when I was in my 20's. I had gone to the hospital to visit a

friend/acquaintance named " Bea, " but I was thinking of her as " Be, "

as in " to be " (or not to be.) I was afraid for her, even though she

had signed herself into the mental hospital, because I'd seen some

nasty, rotten things go on in such places.

In fact, to me, it is almost as if the only real way to tell

the " mental patients " in a mental hospital from the " staff " is by who

gets to stand on which side of the nurses's station. Those mental

hospitals attract some REALLY NUTTY employees!

Well, in any event, I went to visit Bea, and I got to the hospital at

about 5 till 9 PM and visiting hours were over at 9 PM. There was a

great, big security guard standing at the elevator,(about the height

an size of Wilt Chamberlain), and he told me I couldn't go up to

visit Bea. I pleaded with him, but he refused.

So I decided I was going to visit Bea by getting myself signed into

the hospital as a patient. I went to the intake area and started

acting crazy. Two security guards came out and escorted me into a

treatment room where I was waiting for a doctor to come examine me,

when the great, big security guard stuck his head in the door and

said, " Oh, so you're the crazy! "

Having spent years with the label of " crazy " and " manic-depressive, "

I took exception to what that security guard said, and I replied to

him, " So you're the ______________! " I never speak that way anymore,

but I was not a believer in 3:16 at the time, and I was in my

twenties.

The security guard strode up to me, (I was sitting on a table), stuck

his face right up close to me, bared his teeth and drew back his huge

right fist. " WHAT DID YOU CALL ME???!! " he growled.

I decided at that moment that I was sick to death of being bullied

and pushed around and put down by people such as this security guard,

so I tried with all my mind to flush all the fear from my body, and

prayed silently, " Shemah Yisroel Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echad! " which

means: " Hear Oh Israel, the Lord Our God, the Lord is One! Save me,

Lord! "

That security guard then struck me in the throat with his great big

fist---and either it passed right through me, or he pulled his punch

at the last second. I don't know. Immediately after punching me, or

whatever he did, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room. I

never saw him again.

At that point, I decided not to get myself admitted to the hospital

after all. I told the other two security guards, who, by the way,

just STOOD THERE as the other security guard tried to MURDER ME, or

at least severely injure me, that there was nothing wrong with me. I

also asked them why they'd just allowed the other guard to attack me.

They replied, " Well, you did call him a pretty nasty name... "

Sure---like that was supposed to have been reason to allow him to

maybe crush my Adam's apple?!

They allowed me to leave the intake room, and here the story becomes

more interesting still:

I walked about 80 blocks through pouring rain to get back to the

apartment in which I was living at the time. About halfway there, a

thin old man with a long, white beard said to me, " I love you, son! "

I passed him by(he is the one thing I am most unsure about in all

this---whether he actually said that to me or not>) and when I

finally made it to my apartment I was very tired and lay down to

sleep.

While asleep, I dreamt that a long, thick, black snake was crawling

down my throat, choking me to death. Still asleep, in the dream, I

reached into my throat and grabbed hold of the snake and began

pulling it out of my throat.

I woke up then, and found I had pulled from my throat a very thick

rope of green phlegm---it was about 2 inches in diameter and about 12

to 18 inches long. I held it in my two hands for a moment or two and

then took it into the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet.

To this day, I am not entirely sure what all that was about. But I do

know that the Lord saved my life at least twice that night, and I

know my voice deepened after that night. I felt as if up until that

night, fear had such a grip on me that I actually spoke in a higher

voice. Facing a LOT of fear and coming through it safely relaxed my

whole body, and my voice became deeper as a result of that.

dear renee

> your mantra is you won't live in fear

> what would you be without fear?

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