Jump to content
RemedySpot.com
Sign in to follow this  
Guest guest

Hello and help

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Guest guest

thi is so true and I would never just take someones advice... I

always think things through and make sure his doctors know what we

are trying and not trying. Thanks.

Rose

-- In , environmental1st2003

<no_reply@...> wrote:

>

> It is rare that a doctor or a professional who does NOT have AS

can

> completely understand those who do have it.

>

> AS people are quiet by nature, and sometimes we find it hard to

> express ourselves orally. But as you see here, we can talk at

great

> length with logic and make sense. You can learn a lot from us, but

> remember to use common sense before acting on what you hear, and

> medical advice should come only from a professional.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

>

>

>

>

>

> tom

>

> You make a good point however the proffesionals cannot give the

> insight to a parent like all of you have. Experience is a great

> teacher and your life experience is helping us in ways that doctors

> cannot. this is why i requested to join the group for your life

> experiences... WEG I cannot help Mitch in any way if I do not

> understand how his mind. You all are the best.

>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Hi Rose

and welcome to the forum.

I realise at this moment I am coming in late on this particular

discussion and have not read any of the other responses pertaining to

this (reading in order of posts here). However just wanted to ask

firstly, does your son want more social contact?

My son is 13 (dx HFA) and in most part he likes social contact, but

only some - he fast realised that 'mainstream' children can be very

cruel - he has also realised some adults are not nice either :-(

I was wondering if your son did want access to social contact then

perhaps other aspies? You perhaps own a computer what about your son

accessing online groups?

>

> Hi everyone, My name is Rose and I am the parent of a 14 yr old

with

> Aspergers' BiPolar and ADHD- after 9 years of grueling meds and too

> many doctors to count we hope we have a correct diagnoisis. Here

is

> one of our many issues with our boy. My biggest concern is trying

to

> help him deal and find a way to handle the social aspects of life

> while also maintaning his wonderful personality and intelligence.

the

> reason I joined this group is because of the information pages and

> what they contained. I love the fact that this group is based on

the

> fact that what my son has is not a disorder but rather an asset. I

> need help on how to guide him to utilize this asset and make it

work

> for him in the real world. Any and all ideas are welcome and we are

> more than willing to try to help him find his way. My fondest wish

is

> that my boy will be able to do what he loves and work in the real

> world, at something he truly loves doing. thanks to all in advance

> for any and all input.

>

> Rose

>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" Beilieve me I know he is frustrated and feels like no one

understands him, and to be honest most of the time we do not. "

I think it is important that he has someone who does understand him -

therefore I still think him having access to others on the spectrum

could be beneficial.

As for the issues concerning washing etc, sometimes aspies have

difficulties with what are called 'excutive fuctioning', learning

strategies that have worked for others on the spectrum and especially

those that other aspies have come up with theirselves might be

beneficial. Also something called 'Social stories' by Carol Grey I

have been told are fairly useful. I haven't used 'Social Stories'

myself, as although I understand such theoretically often I myself do

not understand a lot of social stuff (I am dx Aspergers).

>

> Hi Ender,

> It is a bit of missed social activies due to his lack of interest

> and inablility to handle large groups and is apathy and

> unwillingness to take on regular responsibilities of daily life,

> coupled with a huge sense of what is right and wrong in his eyes

and

> being completely unable to comprimise. (There is are not any issues

> with bullies as of yet) He is better than he was we enrolled him in

> a special school called Hammitt

> (http://www.thebabyfold.org/progserv/hammittschool.html)and he has

> grown in leaps and bounds in the social area, but he craves

> friendship and has none in our town. I guess I just worry he needs

> so much but we are unable to fill those needs and it is very

> frustrating. i know I am blathering but it is so nice to talk to

> someone who knows what I am talking about. Currently he is on 3

> medications and they seem to be working pretty well for him.

> concerta for the ADHD, Risperdal for the BIPolar and Neurontin for

> the skin sensitivity and the BiPolar. I have researched and

> researched the diagnosises, the medications, the doctors, the

> counselors and have learned a ton of information and some of the

> symptoms and signs are there just as with any " disorder " and some

> are not...it is a guessing game as to what will work with him and

> what will not. Beilieve me I know he is frustrated and feels like

> no one understands him, and to be honest most of the time we do

> not. There is s world and our world, I DO NOT want to

> change my funny, charming,intelligent, wonderful son, I do however,

> want to at least help him gain the skills that our society deems

> neccesary for him to exist in the world. .My main issues to cut to

> the chase are hygiene- (hairwashing is a 1 or 2 times every 2 weeks-

> a major battle, I believe it is due to hypersensitive skin...face

> washing, and brushing of teeth all are a major battles) and

Changing

> of clothes on a daily basis. Ya know if I could get this part of it

> handled, I believe I could help him in other areas.

> Thanks for listening to me rant...lol.

>

> ROse

>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" ...not so much to change him to conform but I like the idea Tom gave

to strip away the socialtal notions and be who he was intended to

be. What really ticks me off is that everyone we deal with insists

that he conform and that just ticks me off... so what he likes to

wear long pants and dress shoes... he looks nice and it makes him

feel good... who cares what time of year it is... or if it is in

fashion... I can go on and on... but won't... thanks for the input if

anyone else has anything to share please do.... thank you for helping

me. "

I have gotten sick of being told to conform/fit in throughout my life

and I have tried at times, it didn't work and at times when I have

been trying to fit in, I have actually being accused of trying to be

different!

Now I just have given up on such. I have never had an interest in

fashion, other than historically and what drives such; but as for

having and wearing the latest fashion/fads/celebs etc - I really

don't care.

Thing is now I realise that some do actually envy the fact I have my

own style, own thoughts and the fact I do not adhere to social

conformity - not all will admit such, but many non aspies would I

suspect love just to be theirselves and yet are scared to stand out

and not fit in. Tom gave a very good example why non aspies 'goof

off' in the work place, because I believe they want to fit in with

others and be popular - but I personally believe if you are being

paid to do a job, that is what you do and you do your best - that

this isn't appreciated always confuses me and likely confuses many

others on the spectrum. I am here to work, I am working, why is this

deemed bad?

>

> Hello Tom,

> A heart felt thank you, the information is wonderful, In all my

> research I have not been able to talk to anyone who is AS and there

> in lies my frustration, how can I help him if I can not understand

> what it is he is. That being said i will take your advice and look

> at the pod casts and see about joining the group for non AS family

> members, but would still like to stick around and listen and ask

for

> advice from you who understand what Mitch is going through on a

> daily basis.

>

> Yes all of you are very chatty and very inteligent as far as I can

> see. There are some very thought provoking conversations going on

> in here. All I can say is well done.

>

> I will take you up on your invitation to stay ;0) and please be

> assured all of you that I am not going to be posting a lot I really

> need to " see " into what it is Mitch " sees " and you all can help me

> with my quest, not so much to change him to conform but I like the

> idea Tom gave to strip away the socialtal notions and be who he was

> intended to be. What really ticks me off is that everyone we deal

> with insists that he conform and that just ticks me off... so what

> he likes to wear long pants and dress shoes... he looks nice and it

> makes him feel good... who cares what time of year it is... or if

it

> is in fashion... I can go on and on... but won't... thanks for the

> input if anyone else has anything to share please do.... thank you

> for helping me. Talk to you soon.

>

> Rose

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" This group is founded on the idea that we should all accept

ourselves, but not be too complacent either. Most of us here have

fashioned out some kind of living for ourselves, or at least have

managed to find some online friends, or have become a bit more

optimistic about ourselves, which in many cases is more than meds

and therapy have done. "

Oh I remember first arriving in this group and at the time was at the

point people in my life were pointing out I was likely aspie,

although I sought a diagnosis (I needed to know personally for

myself). When I arrived here at first I was rather wary - living in

this world had already made me feel as if I was abnormal in some way

and I was scared that I would yet again be treated as such.

I was very nervous at first and often when I posted initially I would

say things like 'I hope that makes sense'. Basically I always was

doubting that I would be understood as offline I have a lot of

difficulties interacting and often people just do not understand what

I am trying to get across. I guess I also lacked a lot of confidence

when I first arrived at this forum and often apologised a lot too -

this was pointed out to me by one of the people from the forum.

After being here a while I began to realise that I wasn't

considered 'abnormal' and that people did understand and could relate

to what I was saying and I to them and I also realised I didn't need

to constantly apologise for basically being me (but that is how the

world had made me feel).

>

> " Yes all of you are very chatty and very inteligent as far as I can

> see. There are some very thought provoking conversations going on

> in here. All I can say is well done. "

>

> Well, as I said earlier, we all have different levels of

> functionality, but we say and post here is what goes on inside our

> heads. The problem, as you say, is that most people cannot see

> inside our heads.

>

> I don't know if you have ever seen that old bugs bunny cartoon

where

> this construction worker is tearing down a building, and in the

> cornerstone is a box. Within the box is a frog, who promptly gets

> out and dances and sings.

>

> The construction worker thinks there is money in this so he brings

> the frog to a talent agency, but all the frog will do there

> is " Brrrrrrrrrrrroooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk! "

>

> Not dissuaded, the optimistic construction worker gathers together

> all the money he has and buys a theatre and sends out fliers.

People

> rush in to see the frog, who is singing and dancing back stage, but

> when the curtain is lifted...

>

> " Brrrrrrrrrrrroooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk! "

>

> He winds up taking the frog to the construction site and puts the

> frog in the cornerstone for the new building and seals it up.

>

> AS people are like that frog, and a select few people are like that

> construction worker.

>

> :)

>

> " I will take you up on your invitation to stay ;0) and please be

> assured all of you that I am not going to be posting a lot I really

> need to " see " into what it is Mitch " sees " and you all can help me

> with my quest, not so much to change him to conform but I like the

> idea Tom gave to strip away the socialtal notions and be who he was

> intended to be. "

>

> I think the more question you ask the better. If you just sit

> silently and watch, you may misunderstand some of the things that

> happen here.

>

> For instance, as you can see, we are in the midst of a number of

> conversations which might appear topical to anyone. But they are in

> fact reflective of our perseverative interests, which is why for

> example, you could go back three years and see is talking about

> pretty much the same things in many cases.

>

> Do we ever get tired of the same old things? Some do but many

don't.

>

> " What really ticks me off is that everyone we deal with insists

that

> he conform and that just ticks me off...'

>

> Well, there is no crime in wanting him to conform. The problem is

> that he can never completely conform. Recently, Scherer at

> Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto identified the GENES which autistics

> have. This means that we are built a certain way, and not much will

> change us in terms of therapy or medication. (No therapy or

> medication will change your eye color for example.) But medication

> does help with co-morbidities, and therapy helps to the extent that

> it can relieve stress and give us coping mechanisms to deal with

the

> real world.

>

> The biggest misconception about AS people is that people think we

> are just social rejects who are not willing to make the changes

> necessary to fit in. That is untrue. Even when we make the changes,

> people sense enough differences in us that we just are not

accepted.

> As much as society promotes tolerance, we can accept others, but

> others cannot accept us, which is why most of us struggle, except

> those like Bill Gates and Speilberg, who have AS and

managed

> to break free of the reigns and harnesses put on them.

>

> This group is founded on the idea that we should all accept

> ourselves, but not be too complacent either. Most of us here have

> fashioned out some kind of living for ourselves, or at least have

> managed to find some online friends, or have become a bit more

> optimistic about ourselves, which in many cases is more than meds

> and therapy have done.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" I have never had an interest in fashion, other than historically

and what drives such; but as for having and wearing the latest

fashion/fads/celebs etc - I really don't care.

" Thing is now I realise that some do actually envy the fact I have my

own style, own thoughts and the fact I do not adhere to social

conformity - not all will admit such, but many non aspies would I

suspect love just to be theirselves and yet are scared to stand out

and not fit in. "

I have a green jacket with loads of patches on it and an Indiana

type hat I take out with me when I hike. People think it is

cool. Some people think I am a park ranger. Some people think I am a

boy scout. I've found lots of people ask me for directions when I

wear this jacket, and they ask me questions about nature.

Tom

Administrator

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

,

Hi and thanks for the input... I believe we are going to try and

get him involved in a group but have not had the time to find one in

our area... and finances are not the best to be transporting... we

are in the stages of getting help and respite for him and us... you

are right... he needs to be in a group of AS that way he does not

feel so strange.... more of a fit for him.

Rose

> >

> > Hi Ender,

> > It is a bit of missed social activies due to his lack of

interest

> > and inablility to handle large groups and is apathy and

> > unwillingness to take on regular responsibilities of daily life,

> > coupled with a huge sense of what is right and wrong in his eyes

> and

> > being completely unable to comprimise. (There is are not any

issues

> > with bullies as of yet) He is better than he was we enrolled him

in

> > a special school called Hammitt

> > (http://www.thebabyfold.org/progserv/hammittschool.html)and he

has

> > grown in leaps and bounds in the social area, but he craves

> > friendship and has none in our town. I guess I just worry he

needs

> > so much but we are unable to fill those needs and it is very

> > frustrating. i know I am blathering but it is so nice to talk

to

> > someone who knows what I am talking about. Currently he is on 3

> > medications and they seem to be working pretty well for him.

> > concerta for the ADHD, Risperdal for the BIPolar and Neurontin

for

> > the skin sensitivity and the BiPolar. I have researched and

> > researched the diagnosises, the medications, the doctors, the

> > counselors and have learned a ton of information and some of the

> > symptoms and signs are there just as with any " disorder " and

some

> > are not...it is a guessing game as to what will work with him

and

> > what will not. Beilieve me I know he is frustrated and feels

like

> > no one understands him, and to be honest most of the time we do

> > not. There is s world and our world, I DO NOT want to

> > change my funny, charming,intelligent, wonderful son, I do

however,

> > want to at least help him gain the skills that our society deems

> > neccesary for him to exist in the world. .My main issues to cut

to

> > the chase are hygiene- (hairwashing is a 1 or 2 times every 2

weeks-

>

> > a major battle, I believe it is due to hypersensitive

skin...face

> > washing, and brushing of teeth all are a major battles) and

> Changing

> > of clothes on a daily basis. Ya know if I could get this part of

it

> > handled, I believe I could help him in other areas.

> > Thanks for listening to me rant...lol.

> >

> > ROse

> >

>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

>

> I understand but getting Mitch to understand is more of the issue.

> He sees other kids who do not have Aspergers and they are helped

> with their problems whatever they may be, and then here he is and

he

> gets so frustrated... wanting to be " normal " I tell him he is

normal

> for him... and for us and we are the ones that matter...We try very

> hard to reassure him that he is and we love him no matter

> what. He said to me yesterday " I have Aspergers? Why does that

> sound familiar? " We have told him before but there are no

> information packets written for teenage boys about what to expect

> with aspergers. I understand why... but that does not help me. I

> really want to take a bit of everyone's conversations and let him

> see them...I beleive it would help him.

>

> Rose

Aspergers isn't a disease. there is no rash or Epi pen for an acute

attack, no glycerine tab. It is a different way of thinking and

being but it isn't wrong and it doesn't need to be fixed but

translation has to be worked out. You must translate this world and

his world. He may look at things more honestly. he will be a truer

friend, an honest worker, an idealist. that isn't a bad thing. Like

Raven's son he may turn to writing philosophy, medicine, history

fantasy. He will even be truer to his hobbies. As can be your

friend in a supported community or an enemy when one is mocked. It

can be a loving place or a wasteland. That is where you come in

Rose. He can never feel broken, just a different model. cars have

different models and features and while not everyone wants every

feature all have value to some. Mitch will need to find his own

space.

You help him to be unafraid to reach his goals, you are the

lighthouse guiding him into shore safely. He still has to steer

though and that is a parents worry, but that is the way it must be he

has to pilot his own ship, he has to (study people) to read his own

maps (you are doing what any parent does showing him the way. Loving

who he is(and making him feel secure and whole) The world storms and

he must survive those storms. While AS doesn't make him broken he

must still do the work

I am a jewess, I fought with a Rabbi once who said because we are the

chosen people we don't have to do anything but be. I argued that we

must do our own work, being chosen means nothing witout our own

effort and that in the end of days his non-effort would bring

punishment. The Lord help those that help themselves. As is no

different. Time and circumstance (you are his environment, his

advocate, his teacher, and he is all of those things to you. I am

not saying that it will be smooth sailing all the time. it won't but

mostly I feel with my own child that bringing the world to him in

manageable chunks while also keeping it at bay is my job.

My son's job is to be a sponge. I guess I am also manipulative. If I

know he has an issue with something I undertake it and then give it

to him to handle. I work on each thing teaching him(by hit and miss)

what he needs to make something ok. The germ thing

For example we got a book about germs, we went online and looked at

how germs get in and what was clean and dirty. i wash his clothing

everyday, point out inconsistancies in germ removal. Washing hands

after toileting, washing cuts and even being stinky. well I could go

on but it gets pretty graphic.

We even went online and looked at medical posters to see where stuff

went and what it looked like. that eased him. I also need to know

things, to calm me down. how a thing works could also work for you.

Plus you can learn alot :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

>

> It is rare that a doctor or a professional who does NOT have AS can

> completely understand those who do have it.

>

> AS people are quiet by nature, and sometimes we find it hard to

> express ourselves orally. But as you see here, we can talk at great

> length with logic and make sense. You can learn a lot from us, but

> remember to use common sense before acting on what you hear, and

> medical advice should come only from a professional.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

I am being bold in adding this

It is my view Mimi's that AS individuals value choice and the right

to gather information to choose. we respect free will and take

responsibility seriously and while we may give opinion none of us

would want you to take what we have written blindly without doing

your own math. We would not want to cause any harm by our ideas.

this is a thing that is very strong in myself and anything I take up

I take up fully. Literally putting my soul on the line. I intend no

harm, but in 3rd party situation everything is not knowable. I am

very careful in what I commit to. Once I saved a person's life

against their will, I have ever wondered if it was the right thing to

do. On the surface, perhaps yes but what if I prolonged his

suffering by my act. I did act, and quickly and I supported him when

that person went to the hospital and beyond. anyway the point was

everything has a consequence, a life after the moment decision was

made. You the parent are the conscience party. We are only voices

in the fog. I hope I can convey how deep this is for me anyway as I

would not want to put words in the mouth of others. You may find

your own child is also imbued with this feeling of duty. (as pehaps

yourself) many of us. Myself certainly, feel tremendous loss over

things that do not affect us personally. I have often been accused

of parenting adults, being an enabler, trying to protect those that

will take advantage. This is one reason I hide from people. the

desire to aide, anyway I am getting lost in my point.

What other people take for granted, may bring me to my knees with

tears. yet what outrages many may get a laugh from me. it depends

on wether i place value on it(in my way of thought)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

>

> After being here a while I began to realise that I wasn't

> considered 'abnormal' and that people did understand and could relate

> to what I was saying and I to them and I also realised I didn't need

> to constantly apologise for basically being me (but that is how the

> world had made me feel).

>

>

>

I was accused of always needed to prove myself my motives my thinking.

Of driving my point to hard. of being over sensititive etc etc, after

being here a while the world that I fought with so often made a place

for me. I made sense and others made sense. If I wrote something

confusing I wasn't banned from humanity (I could explain, refine and

reword and things got better) Situations weren't dire life and death

disapproval. I fully imersed myself in my world and now I am better at

knowing how to protect myself from overstimulation. How to let go of

misunderstanding, where I can have a voice and when to be cautious.

even how to weigh my efforts so as not to get burned or burned out. I

get low as many of us do. we disallusion easily, are mortally wounded

when we are betrayed, hide for weeks and months (sometimes i only

interact with others by watching and being silent) to me that is

interaction because I have taken in data.

But s last few posts about strategy in social setting and escape

routes is myself as well. Yet we all are different and do different

things

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

>

> I have a green jacket with loads of patches on it and an Indiana

> type hat I take out with me when I hike. People think it is

> cool. Some people think I am a park ranger. Some people think I am a

> boy scout. I've found lots of people ask me for directions when I

> wear this jacket, and they ask me questions about nature.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

I have to laugh as this is a non-verbal cue. Likely you know the

answers. You look like a knowledgeable trustworthy person. It is that

energy vampires read these cues too (so maybe not so funny) but you can

talk with attire if people are willing to listen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

In a message dated 7/31/2007 10:16:12 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

by the way was fascinated by the art work and photos posted here... (except for the nude- he said "ewww yuck next pic please" under his breath...LOL) we printed a few for his walls and he was interested in reading the Aspergian Miracle Web page as well, then had to find cuniform writing to print so he could study it. Right up his alley. Rose

I believe that one was put up by a member in her own section. I haven't looked at those in a long time though.

The picture change now and then. I will put up some of my animal pictures and pictures from my travels and the place in Alabama. If you are interested, I could try to find some of those old pics and put up some, if you and your son like pictures of buildings, like the old barns and churches. The pictures of my collections are something new, mostly because I was looking for something to do that didn't involve going out in the high summer heat.

Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

In a message dated 7/31/2007 10:16:12 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, no_reply writes:

by the way was fascinated by the art work and photos posted here... (except for the nude- he said "ewww yuck next pic please" under his breath...LOL) we printed a few for his walls and he was interested in reading the Aspergian Miracle Web page as well, then had to find cuniform writing to print so he could study it. Right up his alley. Rose

I believe that one was put up by a member in her own section. I haven't looked at those in a long time though.

The picture change now and then. I will put up some of my animal pictures and pictures from my travels and the place in Alabama. If you are interested, I could try to find some of those old pics and put up some, if you and your son like pictures of buildings, like the old barns and churches. The pictures of my collections are something new, mostly because I was looking for something to do that didn't involve going out in the high summer heat.

Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

I really appreciate your thoughts and insights and wanted all of you

who have posted here to understand that I am only looking for

insight and information. is doing well and my only thought

in this process is to try to understand how he thinks. I figured if

I understood his thought process a little better I would be able to

better communitcate with him. I have researched and read and re-read

all kinds of books, pamplets, web pages, info sheets, spoken to many

many doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, peers, teachers, principals

and on and on.... I cannot count the amount of information i have

already gathered. That being said, the most informative and helpful

information I gathered here in this forum from people who actually

live with AS everyday. This helps me to understand Mitch and IF I

understand him, I can help him find his path in life, whatever that

may be. I hold no ideal for him, I only want him to be happy and

sucessful at whatever it is he decides to do.

In a way I am like that mother bear, who wants to protect her cub

from any harm. I want him to explore and find out on his own, but

God help the person who gets in his way or tells him he cannot do

it...I WILL step up and let them know that CAN'T never did anything.

(don't worry I do know when to step back and let him fight his own

battles)

I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him

up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their

settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of

doing.

So THANK YOU to everyone for your overwhelming responses and giving

me insight to what it is like to live with AS. All of your comments

were heartfelt and have helped me more than I can say. I will

contiune to post (very few) and see what is happening in here. If I

have an issue I will post a new thread and again ask for help.

by the way was fascinated by the art work and photos posted

here... (except for the nude- he said " ewww yuck next pic please "

under his breath...LOL) we printed a few for his walls and he was

interested in reading the Aspergian Miracle Web page as well, then

had to find cuniform writing to print so he could study it. Right up

his alley.

Rose

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Rose wrote: " ... <snip> ... after listening to doctors telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of doing ... <snip> ..."

Rose, I am wading in late on this topic because I was away on business these past couple of weeks when you have been posting.

Like you, I was told to give up on my AS child very early in the game and like you, I refused to give up on my AS child.

I, too, am AS and my son is AS with multiple co-morbid disabilities.

Doctors and other alleged professionals who deal with AS but who do not have AS themselves are doommongers and fearmongers of the highest degree in my opinion (based on personal experience).

Perhaps it will bring you some modicum of relief to check out my son's website (he just turned 12) to help you continue to feel settled with your decision to continue helping Mitch be the person he is. Please click on http://www.thisislewis.net and read what is posted.

Also, read his latest extensive interview with Donna for Irked Magazine by clicking HERE .

And to get a sense of how he perceives the world, you can listen to the MIC podcast by clicking HERE to hear my son discuss a number of things from his recent interview with world renown autistic author, Donna to his views on life in general and quite a bit in between.

Raven

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him

up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their

settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of

doing. "

I've had some professionals tell me that in the past children like my

son would have been locked away in institutions and forgotton about,

I have had others say I should put him in care and forget about him

and other such horrible things. This is my child, my son; it saddens

me what some attitudes are, saddens, appals, scares :-(

>

> I really appreciate your thoughts and insights and wanted all of

you

> who have posted here to understand that I am only looking for

> insight and information. is doing well and my only

thought

> in this process is to try to understand how he thinks. I figured

if

> I understood his thought process a little better I would be able to

> better communitcate with him. I have researched and read and re-

read

> all kinds of books, pamplets, web pages, info sheets, spoken to

many

> many doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, peers, teachers,

principals

> and on and on.... I cannot count the amount of information i have

> already gathered. That being said, the most informative and

helpful

> information I gathered here in this forum from people who actually

> live with AS everyday. This helps me to understand Mitch and IF I

> understand him, I can help him find his path in life, whatever that

> may be. I hold no ideal for him, I only want him to be happy and

> sucessful at whatever it is he decides to do.

>

> In a way I am like that mother bear, who wants to protect her cub

> from any harm. I want him to explore and find out on his own, but

> God help the person who gets in his way or tells him he cannot do

> it...I WILL step up and let them know that CAN'T never did

anything.

> (don't worry I do know when to step back and let him fight his own

> battles)

>

> I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

> telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give

him

> up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

> child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

> should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their

> settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of

> doing.

>

> So THANK YOU to everyone for your overwhelming responses and giving

> me insight to what it is like to live with AS. All of your

comments

> were heartfelt and have helped me more than I can say. I will

> contiune to post (very few) and see what is happening in here. If

I

> have an issue I will post a new thread and again ask for help.

>

> by the way was fascinated by the art work and photos

posted

> here... (except for the nude- he said " ewww yuck next pic please "

> under his breath...LOL) we printed a few for his walls and he was

> interested in reading the Aspergian Miracle Web page as well, then

> had to find cuniform writing to print so he could study it. Right

up

> his alley.

>

> Rose

>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him

up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their

settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of

doing. "

I've had some professionals tell me that in the past children like my

son would have been locked away in institutions and forgotton about,

I have had others say I should put him in care and forget about him

and other such horrible things. This is my child, my son; it saddens

me what some attitudes are, saddens, appals, scares :-(

>

> I really appreciate your thoughts and insights and wanted all of

you

> who have posted here to understand that I am only looking for

> insight and information. is doing well and my only

thought

> in this process is to try to understand how he thinks. I figured

if

> I understood his thought process a little better I would be able to

> better communitcate with him. I have researched and read and re-

read

> all kinds of books, pamplets, web pages, info sheets, spoken to

many

> many doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, peers, teachers,

principals

> and on and on.... I cannot count the amount of information i have

> already gathered. That being said, the most informative and

helpful

> information I gathered here in this forum from people who actually

> live with AS everyday. This helps me to understand Mitch and IF I

> understand him, I can help him find his path in life, whatever that

> may be. I hold no ideal for him, I only want him to be happy and

> sucessful at whatever it is he decides to do.

>

> In a way I am like that mother bear, who wants to protect her cub

> from any harm. I want him to explore and find out on his own, but

> God help the person who gets in his way or tells him he cannot do

> it...I WILL step up and let them know that CAN'T never did

anything.

> (don't worry I do know when to step back and let him fight his own

> battles)

>

> I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

> telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give

him

> up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

> child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

> should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their

> settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of

> doing.

>

> So THANK YOU to everyone for your overwhelming responses and giving

> me insight to what it is like to live with AS. All of your

comments

> were heartfelt and have helped me more than I can say. I will

> contiune to post (very few) and see what is happening in here. If

I

> have an issue I will post a new thread and again ask for help.

>

> by the way was fascinated by the art work and photos

posted

> here... (except for the nude- he said " ewww yuck next pic please "

> under his breath...LOL) we printed a few for his walls and he was

> interested in reading the Aspergian Miracle Web page as well, then

> had to find cuniform writing to print so he could study it. Right

up

> his alley.

>

> Rose

>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

In a message dated 7/31/2007 4:06:09 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, mnmimi@... writes:

I added some pics of myself, usually I take very bad pictures, these are not the best or the worst. anyway I like pictures of barns churches buildings, I even liked the tanks. One of your "shells" is pink tipped does that denote something in particular?

I'll look for ones of the barn and churches, they should be on one of these disks. If not, I'm got some that I took with film camera and I should be able to scan them and then post them.

As for the shells, I found a list of what they are on the company website, the company I bought them from that is. The pink is probably the purple and was used for test purposes.

Thanks about the tanks. They weren't easy to do because there was a lot of detail on them and the lighting isn't very good in here.

1.Target Practice (blue)

2.Armor piercing discarding sabot* (black tip with very heavy tungsten penetrator showing) 3.Armor piercing (black) 4.High explosive incendiary (yellow/red) 5.High explosive (yellow) 6.High Pressure Gun Proof Test (purple) 7.Propellant Test (yellow with somewhat faded black text)Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

In a message dated 7/31/2007 4:06:09 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, mnmimi@... writes:

I added some pics of myself, usually I take very bad pictures, these are not the best or the worst. anyway I like pictures of barns churches buildings, I even liked the tanks. One of your "shells" is pink tipped does that denote something in particular?

I'll look for ones of the barn and churches, they should be on one of these disks. If not, I'm got some that I took with film camera and I should be able to scan them and then post them.

As for the shells, I found a list of what they are on the company website, the company I bought them from that is. The pink is probably the purple and was used for test purposes.

Thanks about the tanks. They weren't easy to do because there was a lot of detail on them and the lighting isn't very good in here.

1.Target Practice (blue)

2.Armor piercing discarding sabot* (black tip with very heavy tungsten penetrator showing) 3.Armor piercing (black) 4.High explosive incendiary (yellow/red) 5.High explosive (yellow) 6.High Pressure Gun Proof Test (purple) 7.Propellant Test (yellow with somewhat faded black text)Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him

up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their

settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of

doing. "

What you have experienced is what I frequently witness as an AS

advocate. Doctos are " professionally distant " and they believe this

causes them to be " objective " and " realistic. " What they do is look at

the child's case and estimate how much effort it would take the child

to help himself/herself and whether or not the child is capable of

self-motivation. Then they look at how much help a child will need and

whether or not that help can be provided in the real world. Lastly,

they evaluate whether or not the parent is up to the challenge.

Sometimes a doctor knows that a child will be able to improve on their

own and with a parent's support, but they believe the parent is not up

to the challenge, and so residential treatment is suggested. The

parent then goes away believing that it is the child's problem and not

their own.

You are the type of parent who believes in exhausting every avenue to

ensure that her child gets what he needs. You are actually one of a

minority, which is why doctors are NOT inclined to believe that you

will be able to do what you need for your child. It is NOT prejudice

on their part exactly. They are making a forecast based on what they

have seen before. Most parents SAY they have the stamina to do what

needs to be done, but they do NOT.

You do have the stamina.

So just keep doing what you are doing and things will surely improve.

Tom

Administrator

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

" I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him

up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. I reufse to let their

settling for mediocrity be the basis on what my son is capable of

doing. "

What you have experienced is what I frequently witness as an AS

advocate. Doctos are " professionally distant " and they believe this

causes them to be " objective " and " realistic. " What they do is look at

the child's case and estimate how much effort it would take the child

to help himself/herself and whether or not the child is capable of

self-motivation. Then they look at how much help a child will need and

whether or not that help can be provided in the real world. Lastly,

they evaluate whether or not the parent is up to the challenge.

Sometimes a doctor knows that a child will be able to improve on their

own and with a parent's support, but they believe the parent is not up

to the challenge, and so residential treatment is suggested. The

parent then goes away believing that it is the child's problem and not

their own.

You are the type of parent who believes in exhausting every avenue to

ensure that her child gets what he needs. You are actually one of a

minority, which is why doctors are NOT inclined to believe that you

will be able to do what you need for your child. It is NOT prejudice

on their part exactly. They are making a forecast based on what they

have seen before. Most parents SAY they have the stamina to do what

needs to be done, but they do NOT.

You do have the stamina.

So just keep doing what you are doing and things will surely improve.

Tom

Administrator

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

>

> " I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

> telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him

> up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

> child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

> should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. >

The

> parent then goes away believing that it is the child's problem and

not

> their own.

>

Most parents SAY they have the stamina to do what

> needs to be done, but they do NOT.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

It had not occured to me this way, but that is what I have seen over

and over and with my own child.

Each time I was cautioned by dr's, and family to give up before I

started. I have gone to confrences attended advocacy training, gone

to parent leadership series, spoke to dr's and met parents that look

for fairy dust.

Something that leaves them to vacation, eat out, get any babysitter,

or watch american idol on TV.

But as Tom has said there is another faction, a secret society if you

will of people like you that are unwilling to ensure their own

child's failure.

Life is precious, but it still suprises me when I see parents give up

and give away their children. I know there are those that have tried

everything and that was the right answer, but I know children that

languish in placements that don't need to be there.

Anyway Tom you have given me a new perspective on the medical

profession. (I simply thought they were weak willed and cruel, while

also being pompous and inflated) They couldn't do it so what made

them think I could.

In fact sometimes the size of a parent plays a role, I kept being

told that at 3 he could hurt me at 6 or 7 or 8 I would be over

powered.

Anyway I am glad you are doing what you are doing Rose for yourself

and your son. Don't be shy, I was quite whiney until it dawned on me

that here I wasn't an alien.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

>

> " I know that may sound extreme, but after listening to doctors

> telling me I should put my son in residential treatment, or give him

> up because he will always be with us... I refuse to accept that my

> child, who is very intelligent, and does have the skills to succeed

> should be placed on a shelf to gather dust. >

The

> parent then goes away believing that it is the child's problem and

not

> their own.

>

Most parents SAY they have the stamina to do what

> needs to be done, but they do NOT.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

It had not occured to me this way, but that is what I have seen over

and over and with my own child.

Each time I was cautioned by dr's, and family to give up before I

started. I have gone to confrences attended advocacy training, gone

to parent leadership series, spoke to dr's and met parents that look

for fairy dust.

Something that leaves them to vacation, eat out, get any babysitter,

or watch american idol on TV.

But as Tom has said there is another faction, a secret society if you

will of people like you that are unwilling to ensure their own

child's failure.

Life is precious, but it still suprises me when I see parents give up

and give away their children. I know there are those that have tried

everything and that was the right answer, but I know children that

languish in placements that don't need to be there.

Anyway Tom you have given me a new perspective on the medical

profession. (I simply thought they were weak willed and cruel, while

also being pompous and inflated) They couldn't do it so what made

them think I could.

In fact sometimes the size of a parent plays a role, I kept being

told that at 3 he could hurt me at 6 or 7 or 8 I would be over

powered.

Anyway I am glad you are doing what you are doing Rose for yourself

and your son. Don't be shy, I was quite whiney until it dawned on me

that here I wasn't an alien.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

> like pictures of buildings, like the old barns and churches. The

pictures of

> my collections are something new, mostly because I was looking for

something

> to do that didn't involve going out in the high summer heat.

>

>

I added some pics of myself, usually I take very bad pictures, these

are not the best or the worst. anyway I like pictures of barns

churches buildings, I even liked the tanks. One of your " shells " is

pink tipped does that denote something in particular?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest guest

> like pictures of buildings, like the old barns and churches. The

pictures of

> my collections are something new, mostly because I was looking for

something

> to do that didn't involve going out in the high summer heat.

>

>

I added some pics of myself, usually I take very bad pictures, these

are not the best or the worst. anyway I like pictures of barns

churches buildings, I even liked the tanks. One of your " shells " is

pink tipped does that denote something in particular?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...