Re: [One_EFT Healing Highrise] Re: Points of origin

[Guest guest]

Jef,

sorry been busy with writing letters and on the phone attempting the

impossible

Norman

[Guest guest]

Hi Terri,

The good news is you can do EFT without your husband knowing you are doing

it. You can get on your knees, pray for guidance and then in your mind tap

away, he will never know the difference!!!!

You can imagine you are tapping.. imagine the whole round just as if you are

physically doing it, and it will have some benefit. I do it all the time if

I'm in a social situation and can't tap, I tap in my mind.

I always pray before doing EFT. I ask God to guide me where I need to go,

bring to mind things I need to work on. He always does. Sometimes not

necessarily during that session, sometimes during walks, in my sleep, or at

such other times when I am quiet and meditating. That is why I recommend

prayer, if it isn't outside your belief system.

Bless you for all you are going through. I was in this type of marriage for

a grand total of 6 months. I left, went home to my parents pregnant with my

daughter. That was 19 years ago. My heart goes out to you. If it is okay

with you I will send some Reiki your way and prayers.

Re: [One_EFT Healing Highrise] Re: Points of origin

Is it possible to do EFT silently to myself??? I sometimes

find I get a few minutes early morning to myself while husband sleeps so he

doesn't see me tapping.. but if he heard me, I would have to answer a lot of

questions that he wouldn't like the answers to.. he is too " fundamental

Christian " in his beliefs that anything else is totally unacceptable to

him....

Thank you for any hints or tips you could give me!

Terri

[Guest guest]

Terri,

If the critters are keeping you somewhere you don't want to be, sell them,

move and buy them back or get an animal from the pound. This is the way our

minds work sometimes. You think about leaving, but think about the animals

and resign yourself to staying. But let your mind go beyond the animals.

Imagine they had a good home somewhere else. Imagine you are free to go

where you want. There must be women's shelters or agencies that help women

like you in your area. Contact them. Tell them your problems. You could

arrange for the animals to be taken somewhere after you are out and safe.

CAROL HENDERSON

kids who are all grown and gone- this last one a few months ago), and no

money, I am scared out of my mind where to go, what to do, etc.. especially

since I have the " critters " I take care of here... rabbits, poultry, a milk

goat and a dog... (we live on an acreage). My husband refuses to have

anything to do with them but pays the feed bill as long as I am conservative

with the amount/type I feed them. My " critters " are my solace.. they give me

a reason to get up in the morning so I can take care of them throughout the

day.

_____

[Guest guest]

Thank you, !! I was under the " mis " understanding that the tapping was

such an important part of the process that I'd be wasting my time doing it

all mentally... I do believe in God but I don't believe in legalism in any

religion where people are ridiculed and cut down... legalism is " man made "

and not from God. (my beliefs.. sorry if I offended anyone!)

When we married, he had never been married (or dated for 20 years). His

folks and grandparents raised him to believe the way he does (men wear the

pants, make the money and all decisions and the women were basically kitchen

slaves). I have tried to be as compassionate as I can be but lately??? As a

new empty nester, I am seeing things differently than I used to when the

kids were around and realize I simply can not survive this way another

______ (fill in the blank) # of years... it isn't healthy for me and isn't

healthy for HIM either.

Reiki is always welcome and many thank you's for that! I am just learning

more about Reiki and find it facinating and such a gentle way of sending

positive healing...

I'm very happy for your ability (19 years ago) to realize things don't

change unless both parties are willing. I am sure the road hasn't always

been easy for you since then... but at least you did have family to go to

help for. I thank you again for your kind words and encouraging post.

Terri

> Hi Terri,

> The good news is you can do EFT without your husband knowing you are doing

> it. You can get on your knees, pray for guidance and then in your mind

tap

> away, he will never know the difference!!!!

> You can imagine you are tapping.. imagine the whole round just as if you

are

> physically doing it, and it will have some benefit. I do it all the time

if

> I'm in a social situation and can't tap, I tap in my mind.

> I always pray before doing EFT. I ask God to guide me where I need to go,

> bring to mind things I need to work on. He always does. Sometimes not

> necessarily during that session, sometimes during walks, in my sleep, or

at

> such other times when I am quiet and meditating. That is why I recommend

> prayer, if it isn't outside your belief system.

> Bless you for all you are going through. I was in this type of marriage

for

> a grand total of 6 months. I left, went home to my parents pregnant with

my

> daughter. That was 19 years ago. My heart goes out to you. If it is

okay

> with you I will send some Reiki your way and prayers.

>

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Very insightful, Wade!! I will tap on these this morning now that I have the

house to myself for a while...

I have tried to just " live my life " and that is when things get really tough

here.. he stopped paying the phone bill (he has a cell phone), he shot all

the puppies we had just to get back at me.. ran over my favorite kitty on

purpose, took away the car keys for weeks on end (I was a virtual prisoner

with no means of communication.. we live in the country). Of course, he just

told people I was ill or had the flu or whatever if anyone asked... stopped

buying groceries and I ended up eating popcorn for a week (he went out to

eat). See why I call him a " control freak " ? I don't know how else to

describe it. I wish he could change and just treat me as well as he would

any client's wife, etc. In reality, the stronger I get, the worse his

behavior gets and the more demanding, critical, etc he behaves. (I try to

just breath deeply and find the serenity within during these times but

sadly, I have actually lost my temper and demanded basic respect as a

person.. which only makes him act worse ... a cycle that only burns itself

out over time).

I would like to read the file you mentioned if you think it would help...

Thank you again, Wade for your letter.

Terri

>

> Terri, I was just on my way to bed when I saw your email and just felt

> strongly about responding.

>

> You said that the more you give the more he takes, and that when

> you become 'better' he raises the bar. Allow me to suggest to you

> to tap on this:

> Even though I I feel HE sets the standard of my behavior...

> Even though I am not living my life for myself...

> Even though I feel that what I do is never satisfying to him...

> Even though I feel I must meet HIS goal and not my own...

>

> And just see what that brings up.

>

> I book that I just love says, a thing only means what You say it means.

> What that means is, nothing at all has any meaning except the meaning

> you give it. Now, the reason I bring this up is, you say you are starting

> to feel resentful because he takes what you give. A relationship is about

> what you put into it, not what you take from it. What opportunity does

> it provide to you? Now, to practicalize that, you need to tap on that.

> Things

> like, what does this relationship present as an opportunity for you,

> and why

> do I feel that I must live up to someone else's goals?

>

> What would happen if you just stopped trying to live up to His bar and

> just lived at yours? What would happen if you lived your goals? Moved

> in the direction of Your goals? Achieved Your goals? Tap on those as well.

>

> If it is alright, and you can just respond to me yes or no, I would like

> to send to you with your permission a zipped file of a short story that

> a friend recently emailed to me. I believe that you would receive

> great insight in yourself after reading it.

>

> Wade

[Guest guest]

Jef,

As freedom is the pinnacle of being it is only in freedom I can heal. I was

raised in a mentally retarded environment as my only older sister has cerebral

palsy. No brothers. Father is surviving and mother died 2002.

I am afflicted with a mental disorder and sterotyped and profiled for I was

abuse by the health care system. State Dept. of Retardation refuses to let me

freely visit my sister in her group home. I continue to love amongst the

negativity although be it difficult at times. Mis-diagnosed and mistreated I

must reconstruct my character...rebuild a better man.

Fighting for love of sister all I can do is write letters for voices for

change...always open for new thoughts and ideas

NM

[Guest guest]

I just imagine doing it on my physical body just as if I were really

physically tapping. Normally I don't do the 9 Gamut anyway, but if

something is particularly stubborn, then I just imagine doing the 9 Gamut

like I imagine the rest of the round. Now I do roll my eyes to try to draw

in something actually physical, but one doesn't even need to do that.

I do it standing, sitting, lying in bed (so as to not wake my husband),

listening in church and something triggers me, when discussing something

stressful with my husband I'm tapping away in my mind in order to accept the

discussion. It is wonderful when one puts this into practice. I can now

almost physically feel the tapping when I imagine tapping.

Hope this helps.

Re: [One_EFT

Healing Highrise] Re: Points of origin

Can you explain more how you image tapping?

And how you do 9 Gamut?

You sit/stand somewhere where is a lot of people and you do what?

Do you visualize and " tap " on your real body, or you visualize (you close

your eyes) your " body " like in a dream a tap on " that body " .

Or you do something else?

[Guest guest]

Hi Terri,

I think it is safe to say that after all these years he isn't going to

change and there is nothing you can do to change him. You can work on you!!

That is how it works in good marriages too.

I think EFT will help you see things clearly and your options clearly, as

you do see more clearly other options may open up to you. I hope so anyway.

Re: [One_EFT Healing Highrise] Re: Points of origin

I wish he could change and just treat me as well as he would

any client's wife, etc.

Terri

[Guest guest]

[One_EFT Healing Highrise] Re: Points of origin

While scripturally the

man is the head in the marriage arrangement, I find nowhere in the

Bible where God says it hunky dory for the man to abuse and belittle

his wife. As a matter of fact, when Abraham was being a lunkhead, God

himself told Abraham to listen to his wife . Mutual respect is

the key to a long and happy marriage.

Jef, you are so right, my understanding is men are to lead the family as

Christ led the church. What did Christ do? He served, he fed them, taught

them, listened to them, washed their feet, He humbly loved them!!! My

belief is that a wife should follow her husband as long as her husband is

following the Lord. If he isn't then she has no obligation to follow him

and then she tries to follow the Lord to the best of her ability, the

Atonement makes up the rest.

To add to that, just because one says they are following the Lord doesn't

mean they are. " by their fruits you shall know them " .

My intuition tells me that he has some deep seated issues that he's

either too afraid or too embarassed to discuss and leans on the Bible

for strength to get through the day.

Terri, Jef rang a bell here for me. Let me ask you, was your husband

controlled as a child, to the extent, or nearly that he controls you?

Sometimes when one is oppressed in childhood, when they are the adult they

make up for it in spades. They really take it way over the line trying to

prove to themselves, and maybe in a way to the controller in their life,

that they are in control not the adult who oppressed them. Could this be

the case with your husband Terri? Not that this insight might excuse his

bad behavior one bit:-)

[Guest guest]

Terri, I was another one of those people who decided to leave an abusive

husband and I didn't have any family to help me. I just trusted that it was

the right thing to do. Things worked out because I trusted in God or

whoever to help. Amazing things happen when we listen to what our feelings

are trying to tell us. I learned alot about who I really am/want to be when

I did that some 29 years ago.

Naturally Yours Inc.

Marilynn Poore