Re: Zach & girls

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

I don't have kids however I come from a family filled

with kids younger than me so I do have some knowlege.

To be quite honest with you, why should any 15 year

old be pressured into dating?? In this day and age of

sex and kids growing up way to fast, if Zach doesn't

want that then let him be! He has his WHOLE life to

date, let him be a kid.

My younger cousin Lori is going to be 15 this weekend

and I would LOVE it if she didn't date. Her focus

shifts from school work and just being young to

thinking omg what do I wear? what do I say? forget

worrying about a test, she worries about the boys in

her class. She's even been pressured from guys to do

things she is not ready for. So why on God's green

earth would any parent want their 15 year old to date?

Not saying don't have any friends of the opposite sex

but dating is another thing.

I went to an all girl private high school and not

dating until afterwards was the best thing ever! Guys

are distracting however in class it was just us girls

so it wasn't about looks, we could concentrate in

class and raise our hands when we knew the answer. We

could learn about who we are as girls turning into

young women without the distraction of guys. I know it

made me stronger. So seriously kids not wanting to

date should be applauded!!! Their time will come, just

leave them alone.

-

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I was kind of annoyed at first when I saw the part on the show when Matt was

pressuring Zach to find a girl at the LPA convention but then I thought

about it...

Matt probably knows that Zach is hoping to find another LP to be with. He

said so as much in the interview, and although I think that Matt and Amy's

marriage may have influenced how Zach may think, I can see that he is

intelligent enough to make up his own mind and would go against his parent's

wishes if he thought this was not for him. At least for now, he feels that

an LP girl will be what he wants. Still, he left it open and is probably

not going to turn down an average sized girl if things really click between

him and her. (At least I hope not.) He also implied that he wasn't ready

for anything like that right now and that from his actions was not going to

let Matt push him into anything he wasn't ready for no matter how much Matt

tried. Zach will do things in his own time and in his own way so why worry

about it?

I can see Mat's point too though. If Zach had confided in him that he

wanted to meet a LP woman, well the only places to meet them in any great

quantities are at LP gatherings and they do not last long. A week at the

most and I guess Matt wants Zach to make the most of his short time to get

contacts. That's how it seems to always be at LPA conventions from what I

have seen. Zach can meet an average sized girl any time but he can only

meet lots of LP girls at LP gatherings, so I feel that is why Matt is

pushing him more than he might usually have. Unfortunately though, if Zach

did meet a nice girl at a convention, it would probably have to be a long

distance thing until they are old enough to become serious and lots of

things can happen in the year or so they are apart between conventions.

Especially when they are so young.

Sabrena

[Guest guest]

While I initially agree with you , there's a social dynamic going on

here we're all forgetting. Zack's twin brother, , is a babe-magnet,

and gets all kinds of girls " knocking on his door. " I'm sure it's pretty

hard to be in the same school, have the same circle of friends, and watch

your brother get all the attention of the young ladies. I'm not saying that

15 is the right age to be dating, but it

seems to be a trend these days.

I think Matt is just trying to make Zack feel better about himself. (Not

that he needs to, in my opinion. Zack seems like a fine young man to me.)

-Bill

On 3/21/06, irish_p_butter@... <irish_p_butter@...> wrote:

>

> Hi All,

>

> I don't have kids however I come from a family filled

> with kids younger than me so I do have some knowlege.

> To be quite honest with you, why should any 15 year

> old be pressured into dating?? In this day and age of

> sex and kids growing up way to fast, if Zach doesn't

> want that then let him be! He has his WHOLE life to

> date, let him be a kid.

> My younger cousin Lori is going to be 15 this weekend

> and I would LOVE it if she didn't date. Her focus

> shifts from school work and just being young to

> thinking omg what do I wear? what do I say? forget

> worrying about a test, she worries about the boys in

> her class. She's even been pressured from guys to do

> things she is not ready for. So why on God's green

> earth would any parent want their 15 year old to date?

> Not saying don't have any friends of the opposite sex

> but dating is another thing.

>

> I went to an all girl private high school and not

> dating until afterwards was the best thing ever! Guys

> are distracting however in class it was just us girls

> so it wasn't about looks, we could concentrate in

> class and raise our hands when we knew the answer. We

> could learn about who we are as girls turning into

> young women without the distraction of guys. I know it

> made me stronger. So seriously kids not wanting to

> date should be applauded!!! Their time will come, just

> leave them alone.

>

> -

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

>Zack's twin brother, , is a babe-magnet,<

This has to be the hardest situation ever. I remember that during our

teenage years my cousin (who is my age) lived downstairs (we shared a

2 family house) and I had to watch what I couldn't have played out on

a daily basis. Not that you don't know others are dating and you're

not, but usually one can come home and not deal with it. To add insult

to injury, she also had the typical and very Cuban 'coming out' (no,

not gay-wise!) party, it's a private cotilion, only 1 girl is the

center of attraction. And preparation takes as long as a wedding. I

was cool hanging out with all of them during the prep, helping out.

Yes, it created it's low moments, sitting on the side helping to spin

the vinyl while all of these couples waltzed by you. She had 15

couples dancing the choreography and she & her b/f, so rehearsals were

a party every week. And, I broke down about a month before the party

and never went.

>I'm sure it's pretty hard to be in the same school, have the same

circle of friends, and watch your brother get all the attention of the

young ladies.<

My only saving grace during those times was that we went to seperate

high schools and I didn't have to put up with it 24/7. And, although I

didn't appreciate it back then, I went to the last all girls public

high in the US, so the mixed gender stress was minimized.

I hit my stride in college dating after 2 years in daily mixed company

and he was the one who hit on me. I admit that all 6 feet of him

shocked the hmmmm air out of me when it happened. But, it went on for

about 7 years. And no he didn't sit on daddy's couch, I moved out and

they never did meet him ;-)

I wasn't going to have 'that' discussion with my parents every week

and pushed into a marraige certificate just to have (dare I say?) sex!!

>I'm not saying that 15 is the right age to be dating, but it seems to

be a trend these days.<

LOL, saving grace #2, we weren't allowed to 'date' anyway, everything

was chaparoned! And lord knows I would have killed myself rather than

sit and watch TV with my parents.

Virginity is a part of the Cuban trousseau, thus at 50 I'm still

holding out (in case anyone here knows/meets my father, that's my

story and I'm sticking to it!).

>I think Matt is just trying to make Zack feel better about himself.

(Not that he needs to, in my opinion. Zack seems like a fine young

man to me.)<

I am betting money (after knowing Roloff) that it was all highly

exagerated for the cameras. I very much doubt that he usually goes

that far at LPA events (from what y'all say, I've yet to see one

episode) I doubt he usually spends no more time encouraging Zach than

any other father. Albiet we know his bottom line is selling and he'll

market anything given the opportunity (and trust me he's taking this

as a sort of skewed compliment, as it's meant). And after 15 years

around Matt, is Zach really buying?

And anyone who's been around Zach and Matt (and most teens & rents)

knows the dynamics:

*Parent speaks and makes suggestion

*Son rolls his eyes and thinks " oh yeah, that's going to happen, NOT "

and all of this works differently if one is 'rolling' the camera in

front of a kid's face. I've no doubt that skewed the dynamics. I can't

imagine why anyone would continue to force that on their kids, except

for necessity. But, it is their choice as parents and I doubt they are

looking for anyone's parenting suggestions. If one is smart, one

doesn't read any of what is published about this type of venture.

After all, they will continue to be part of the community and worship

or critizism can become real old, real quick.

One item many seem to be missing in this discussion is that I don't

care how much we say we 'want' this type or that type, 'Love' could

care less. Who would have told me at 20, that Nordic looking was my

type?? (well, for that relationship anyway) Synergy doesn't come with

a 'pick one in each category' type of application for us to fill out.

I did watch the trailers on the TLC site and I thought to myself

(during Zach's) that he's young and has a whole lifetime ahead of him.

Now (at 15) he may want an LP wife and 3 boys, but when Cupid throws

that arrow out at him, he won't even remember how to spell his name

and he'll learn to play 'Barbie' with his 3 daughters (as well as show

them how to kick that soccer ball) if need be.

Anyway, I can't believe I used up a whole post to discuss the Roloff

show. As andra Spiegel says " Oy vey! "

(the 50 year old virgin)

[Guest guest]

But Bill weren't you the babe magnet of your family? Just seems like this topic

needed some humor.

It isn't easy. I watch Jarrod everyday. Even though he is the most handsome

male in the neighborhood, he is every girls " best friend " . Being a girl that

used that line, it isn't easy. He is good enough to hang with, but as far as

dancing and taking out in public, well the stares come. He went for a walk the

other day with his best girlfriend and someone yelled from a car... " Look! It's a

midget! " This is the first time it has happened, but then this is the first

time in a while that he has walked down the street.

Willow

Bill Bradford <tslug1@...> wrote:

While I initially agree with you , there's a social dynamic going on

here we're all forgetting. Zack's twin brother, ,.........

[Guest guest]

Thank you Bill I totally agree with you. In the show you see , Zach's

twin brother bring 'his' friends along on a camping trip. Zack is portrayed as a

more shy kid than his twin brother.It wasn't until the LP Conference that we saw

Zack interact with other kids his age.

I can see my mother wanting to get my shy sister to go out and talk to any boy

who came by our house, not because she wanted her to date young but because she

wanted her to come out of her shell and just have friends. Of all 9 children

this one sister on mine married later on in life than the rest of us did.

Maybe the producers portrayed Matt as a push-over but he just seems like a dad

I would like to have had......one who takes the time to take you places, go

camping, build you a good home and encourages you to have friends boys AND

grils. How lucky the Rolof children are!

Bill Bradford <tslug1@...> wrote:

While I initially agree with you , there's a social dynamic going on

here we're all forgetting. ...........

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I was the babe magnet. But I had my poles reversed and drove them

away. ;-)

I really feel for Jarrod. I kow EXACTLY what he's been through. I've even

had my share of the " just friends " girlfriends, or as comedian Spade

said " I was the type of guy in high school, who all the girls loved to

complain to about the guy they were sleeping with. "

The road is not easy, but I sense in Jarrod the strength of spirit that will

allow him to prevail. Two of my favorite quotes come to mind:

" It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the

victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons,

heaven or hell. " -- Buddha

" The crucible is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the

heart. " -- Proverbs 17:3

Jarrod will win these battles, and these tests, with flying colors.

Take care,

-Bill

On 3/22/06, Willow <willow.snow@...> wrote:

>

> But Bill weren't you the babe magnet of your family? Just seems like this

> topic needed some humor.

>

> It isn't easy. I watch Jarrod everyday. Even though he is the most

> handsome male in the neighborhood, he is every girls " best friend " . Being a

> girl that used that line, it isn't easy. He is good enough to hang with,

> but as far as dancing and taking out in public, well the stares come. He

> went for a walk the other day with his best girlfriend and someone yelled

> from a car... " Look! It's a midget! " This is the first time it has happened,

> but then this is the first time in a while that he has walked down the

> street.

> Willow

>

> Bill Bradford <tslug1@...> wrote:

> While I initially agree with you , there's a social dynamic going

> on

> here we're all forgetting. Zack's twin brother, ,.........

>

>

>

>

>

> ===

>

[Guest guest]

I can only imagine how hard teen years would have been if I had an

AP brother that was the same age or near my own age as to watch go

out on dates etc...

I guess Matt just wants both his sons to be happy

On Mar 22, 2006, at 10:34 AM, aurora crutchfield wrote:

> Thank you Bill I totally agree with you. In the show you see

> , Zach's twin brother bring 'his' friends along on a camping

> trip. Zack is portrayed as a more shy kid than his twin brother.It

> wasn't until the LP Conference that we saw Zack interact with other

> kids his age.

> I can see my mother wanting to get my shy sister to go out and

> talk to any boy who came by our house, not because she wanted her

> to date young but because she wanted her to come out of her shell

> and just have friends. Of all 9 children this one sister on mine

> married later on in life than the rest of us did.

> Maybe the producers portrayed Matt as a push-over but he just

> seems like a dad I would like to have had......one who takes the

> time to take you places, go camping, build you a good home and

> encourages you to have friends boys AND grils. How lucky the Rolof

> children are!

>

> Bill Bradford <tslug1@...> wrote:

[Guest guest]

We have been watching the Roloff family. I have heard nothing but good

about the show through other family or friends, none of which are LP> I dont

see a family LPs...I just see a " normal " family interacting with each other and

their environment like any family would. They have many of the same issues

of parenting and normal teenage stuff to deal with. Zach strikes me as a

normal kid who also happens to be LP. He and his brother have the same

attitudes of many of their peers. I congratulate Matt and his wife for their

handling of things. They are stable, loving and involved with their kids as

it

should be with all parents.

Apryl

[Guest guest]

Thanks Bill. I suspect you're right about him. :-)

Willow

Bill Bradford <tslug1@...> wrote:

Yeah, I was the babe magnet. But I had my poles reversed and drove them

away. ;-)