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Robin,

I completely understand the too young but feeling really old syndrome.

It is something that, atleast for myself, is really hard to deal with at times.

I am a newlywed and because of the problems and pains that I have my life with

my husband gets interupted alot. It's really frrustrating because you know that

you should be able to do these things without pain but unfortunately that is not

the life I have to lead. So, I also understand being ALOT frustrated. Well, keep

your head up and remeber if you need to talk, I am here.

-

Robin <armywife222@...> wrote:

,

Good Lord, girl! You've had alot to deal with! Boy, can I relate to

the " too young syndrome " ! That's what it was like to get a dx of

cancer at 27...or my stroke at 25....or my RA at 37! Can be a bit

frustrating...okay, ALOT frustrating! I always say to the

doc, " don't talk numbers, cuz that'll curse me for sure. don't say

i'm too young, cuz you'll just confirm the

dx " !

thanks for stretching out a hand to a too-young-but-feeling-really-

old woman from rural Manitoba!

> Hi Everyone,

>

> Well, today was the day. I received my dx of RA. Although, I

> suspected that it was coming, it hit me harder than I realized. I'm

> too darn young, IMHO....just 37.

>

> ly, I'm scared, lonely,angry and I'm too darn exhausted to

fight

> other fight (10 years cancer-free also). This was not a group I

wanted

> to join....but having said that...looking forward to getting to

know

> all of you.

>

> Robin

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from

someone who knows.

> Answers - Check it out.

>

> ---------------------------------

> Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on

Travel.

>

>

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Robin wrote:

>

> >Hi Everyone,

> Well, today was the day. I received my dx of RA. Although, I

> suspected that it was coming, it hit me harder than I realized. I'm

> too darn young, IMHO....just 37.

> ly, I'm scared, lonely,angry and I'm too darn exhausted to fight

> other fight (10 years cancer-free also). This was not a group I wanted

> to join....but having said that...looking forward to getting to know

> all of you.

>

So sorry to see you join the group of people in the world with RA, but

glad to have you here in this group. There is a ton of great medical

info here as well as lots of caring people.

Nina

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thanks for the link. will check that out. no meds yet. i'm being

referred to a rheumatologist...and then the wait list game. i'm

currently on an anti inflammatory & flexerol for a slipped disc, but

they're not helping much. i take tylenol OTC and T3's when it gets

really bad. i'm in Canada, but i'll check out what is available here.

i'm all over the map with my emotions. mostly PO'd. I feel like I've

been through so much. I just plain fed up. Don't want to be on more

drugs (til 6 months ago, i took nothing, today 5 pills a day...soon,

who knows). i'm going through serious pity party...and it's not like

me to be that way...and so selfish.

~sigh~ i'll come around...i know...hopefully soon!

>

> Robin,

>

> Glad your feeling better, just hang in there. What type of meds has

> the doctor put you on? There are a lot of different meds. Check out

> www.arthritis.org lot of information there. You can also pick out

> some pamphlets, and they will send them through the mail, free of

> charge if your in the US. Great, to show to friends and family.

> Seriously, I'm always around if you need to vent. Hugs, Tawny

>

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thanks, . i'm sorry to hear that newlywed life has been

tough. guess it's really true, " life ain't fair " . hoping for much

better days ahead for you.

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > Well, today was the day. I received my dx of RA. Although, I

> > suspected that it was coming, it hit me harder than I realized.

I'm

> > too darn young, IMHO....just 37.

> >

> > ly, I'm scared, lonely,angry and I'm too darn exhausted to

> fight

> > other fight (10 years cancer-free also). This was not a group I

> wanted

> > to join....but having said that...looking forward to getting to

> know

> > all of you.

> >

> > Robin

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from

> someone who knows.

> > Answers - Check it out.

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on

> Travel.

> >

> >

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thanks, Nina. seems to be a great group that i've joined here

though. appreciate all the support already!

> >

> > >Hi Everyone,

> > Well, today was the day. I received my dx of RA. Although, I

> > suspected that it was coming, it hit me harder than I realized.

I'm

> > too darn young, IMHO....just 37.

> > ly, I'm scared, lonely,angry and I'm too darn exhausted to

fight

> > other fight (10 years cancer-free also). This was not a group I

wanted

> > to join....but having said that...looking forward to getting to

know

> > all of you.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> So sorry to see you join the group of people in the world with RA,

but

> glad to have you here in this group. There is a ton of great

medical

> info here as well as lots of caring people.

>

> Nina

>

>

>

>

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Hi Robin,

Welcome to the group. This is Steph in VA. I'm 29 and was dx'd with RA in

1999 when I was 22. I tried a bunch of meds in the beginning and have been doing

well on Remicade since mid-2000.

Take care,

Steph

Hi Everyone,

Well, today was the day. I received my dx of RA. Although, I suspected that it

was coming, it hit me harder than I realized. I'm too darn young, IMHO....just

37. ly, I'm scared, lonely,angry and I'm too darn exhausted to fight other

fight (10 years cancer-free also). This was not a group I wanted to join....but

having said that...looking forward to getting to know all of you.

Robin

---------------------------------

Got a little couch potato?

Check out fun summer activities for kids.

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You have a right to be POd and have a pity party. BUT, you have to have your

moment of

sadness and then move on, or it wins. Your life isn't over, just different. You

can still live

your life, and one thing I've learned over the last 2 months since I've had

this, my good

days are even better than before, because I'm more apprecaitive of them. So, I

might have

bad days, I just take it easy, good days, I run around like crazy and do as much

as I can,

and feel amazing about all of my accomplishments. So, as of now, I'm not letting

it

win...I'm winning.

> >

> > Robin,

> >

> > Glad your feeling better, just hang in there. What type of meds has

> > the doctor put you on? There are a lot of different meds. Check out

> > www.arthritis.org lot of information there. You can also pick out

> > some pamphlets, and they will send them through the mail, free of

> > charge if your in the US. Great, to show to friends and family.

> > Seriously, I'm always around if you need to vent. Hugs, Tawny

> >

>

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Steph,

What is your level of your RA? I was diagnosed at 25 and it is not in my blood.

I am currently on Humira.

[ ] Re:Newly diagnosed

Hi Robin,

Welcome to the group. This is Steph in VA. I'm 29 and was dx'd with RA in 1999

when I was 22. I tried a bunch of meds in the beginning and have been doing well

on Remicade since mid-2000.

Take care,

Steph

Hi Everyone,

Well, today was the day. I received my dx of RA. Although, I suspected that it

was coming, it hit me harder than I realized. I'm too darn young, IMHO....just

37. ly, I'm scared, lonely,angry and I'm too darn exhausted to fight other

fight (10 years cancer-free also). This was not a group I wanted to join....but

having said that...looking forward to getting to know all of you.

Robin

------------ --------- --------- ---

Got a little couch potato?

Check out fun summer activities for kids.

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Hi Jill,

I do not test positive for the RA factor. Currently, w/ Remicade, I'm in a

medication induced remission. My worst symptom is my left hand, which is my

dominant one. When I was first dx'd my ESR was 335 (normal is 0-20).

Take care,

Steph

What is your level of your RA? I was diagnosed at 25 and it is not in my blood.

I am currently on Humira.

[ ] Re:Newly diagnosed

Hi Robin,

Welcome to the group. This is Steph in VA. I'm 29 and was dx'd with RA in 1999

when I was 22. I tried a bunch of meds in the beginning and have been doing well

on Remicade since mid-2000.

Take care,

Steph

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The 2007Charlottesville Arthritis Walk was a success!

We raised almost $30,000 for research & programs for people with arthritis! My

team, Team Lakeside, raised about $200 and money is still coming in through May!

" Never underestimate the power of a small, dedicated group of people to change

the world -- indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. " (Margaret Mead)

---------------------------------

Luggage? GPS? Comic books?

Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search.

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Hello Sell,

Not quite sure what you mean about braces for your feet. Toe braces?

or custom made orthotics? or something else? I had toe braces as a

kid, for night wear, they came off immediately and stayed off. In the

last decade I've been using custom made in-shoe orthotics, made from

plaster molds of my feet. These have been a lifesaver. My leg muscles

are good, so no AFOs. There isn't a doctor on this planet that

can 'predict' what you'll need or when. As for hands, I have seen

bracing for hands, but do not have any personal experience on that.

Others will be along soon. I hope you get connected with a truly

knowledgeable orthotist.

~ Gretchen

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Sell,

Classic signs of CMT: Loss of muscle mass from the elbows down and the

knees down.

Legs usually present with foot drop where one can't raise one or both

feet. This problem is usually handled by a brace (AFO) that keeps the

foot at a right angle to the leg. This prevents tripping over a blade

of grass and breaking a hip.

The hands are a bigger issue. One must find way of adapting. For

example we use coffee that comes in a foil package. I used to be able

to open the package with my fingers. Due to strength loss in my

fingers, I can't grip the edges tight enough. I turned to scissors.

Unfortunately the muscle loss continues.

The biggest dream in my life is to stay vertical which as of today I

still am!

--Larry

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Hi Gretchen,

I don't know what type of braces they are, the doctor is making an appointment

for me. She did say something about some sort of brace that I would wear at

night. I'll write more when I find out more. What are some people writing about

mega doses of vitamin C? I wonder if this helps type 2?

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,

I was told that I would need leg braces too. However, I don't even use the foot

braces anymoer. I use these ankle straps, (If you want to know more about them,

le tme know). You don't have to let the Dr. discourage you with that. Take it

with a grain of salt.

Dawn

P.S. I recently have problems in my hands now too. but can do the basic things.

I am a single mom and doing all of that so I guess it's possible!

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Barbara,

I hope the info you received was from the MDA and not MS. Please

check, as MS is entirely different than CMT, and CMT is not a 'form'

of MD.

There is NO ONE, no doctor, NO ONE on this planet that can 'predict'

one's progression. I had one doc try years ago, his 'prediction' was

way off. I have a form of type 2, am very active, no AFOs. (my

diagnosis was from childhood)

Take all this one day at a time.

Rest, pacing, some exercise and watching one's weight (following a

heart healthy diet as recommended by Dr. ) can be of benefit

as I have found. Check into our Files area for elaboration.

Talk to your husbands doc, orthotist and PT about your bracing

questions. If you know the name of the braces, let us know.

About the knees: best to get them checked by an orthopedist, the

orthotist and a physical therapist.

A new diagnosis is very difficult for some to accept. Learning about

it and talking about it do help.

~ Gretchen

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Barbara,

How wonderful that has you to fight and learn for him. As far as the

magazines, i can understand why that would scare you, but it was 25 years later

until i needed some of the things in there and i started with an AFO 25 years

ago, so progression CAN be very slow and very different for everyone. The good

thing about CMT, is that the progession is usually slow enough (even for those

of us more severe) that it gives your brain time to process the changes.

The knees may be due to the extra strain he has been putting on them Hopefully,

with the new braces, it will take some pressure off of the knees. A good idea is

to see someone who can do a gait analysis who can determine how he is walking

and if there is something else he can do to take the pressure off the knees.

You will learn a lot and get a lot of advice and support from this group.

jackie

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Are you seeing a rhumatologist? If not, you need to. An antibiotic and Motrin

are not going to cut it. My opinion...

[ ] newly diagnosed

Hi everyone

I am newly diagnosed with seronegative RA. Every joint has been in pain

and swollen for 6 months. My husband and kids thought I was a kook

until I finally was diagnosed. When is it going to stop? Meds are

minocin and 800mg motin frequently. I went from a woman that use to do

everything from building furniture, working 40 hrs, keeping a house

clean and taking care of three kids. 3 dogs, and a husband, to a

fragile woman that can barely make dinner. Forget about lifting

something, one plus is that the husband does the laundry. Luckily I

work from home and can get up and walk when I need to. Which seems to

help. Any suggestions on how to keep the swelling down? My ankles, and

hands are quite swollen now.

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Welcome!

If you don't have a rheumatologist yet, you need one. If you have a

rheumatologist, you might need a better one.

There are many treatment options. Generally speaking, early and aggressive

treatment leads to better outcomes.

I'm not sure exactly when you were diagnosed or when you will see your

physician next (I hope very soon), but widespread pain and swelling

shouldn't be allowed to continue without stepping up your treatment.

Not an MD

> [ ] newly diagnosed

>

> Hi everyone

>

> I am newly diagnosed with seronegative RA. Every joint has been in pain

> and swollen for 6 months. My husband and kids thought I was a kook

> until I finally was diagnosed. When is it going to stop? Meds are

> minocin and 800mg motin frequently. I went from a woman that use to do

> everything from building furniture, working 40 hrs, keeping a house

> clean and taking care of three kids. 3 dogs, and a husband, to a

> fragile woman that can barely make dinner. Forget about lifting

> something, one plus is that the husband does the laundry. Luckily I

> work from home and can get up and walk when I need to. Which seems to

> help. Any suggestions on how to keep the swelling down? My ankles, and

> hands are quite swollen now.

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I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I am grieving the changes in myself,

too. I homeschool my daughter which I've always really enjoyed. Now I can't wait

for it to be over as I feel anxious about getting ready for the co-op classes I

teach. Its harder for me to plan ahead. I procrastinate much more than I used

to.

My rheumy added Minocin to my methotrexate when my liver function tests showed

decreased liver function. She also lowered my methotrexate. This worked really

well to decrease my tiredness and pain. I don't have a lot of swelling.

Unfortunately, the Minocin worsened my HA.

My rheumy always says there's lots of options and I should be able to be

virtually pain free and have better energy. So, I would think that if your

symptoms aren't controlled, and you haven't tried all the medicines available,

your doctor needs to be more aggressive.

Of course, it can take time. I'm currently waiting to see if Embrel will work.

Getting started was frustrating. It took two weeks for the insurance to approve

it and more time just dealing with the pharmacy and getting supplies from the

company, but I feel very fortunate to have insurance.

ez

---------------------------------

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.

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Most definately! Seek a rheumatologist, or if you have one get a

better one! There is no need to suffer from that much pain &

swelling, much less the frustration from not being able to do it all.

Like said " it don't cut it! " You need more aggressive treatment!

--- In , " " <Matsumura_Clan@...>

wrote:

>

> Welcome!

>

> If you don't have a rheumatologist yet, you need one. If you have a

> rheumatologist, you might need a better one.

>

> There are many treatment options. Generally speaking, early and

aggressive

> treatment leads to better outcomes.

>

> I'm not sure exactly when you were diagnosed or when you will see

your

> physician next (I hope very soon), but widespread pain and swelling

> shouldn't be allowed to continue without stepping up your treatment.

>

>

>

> Not an MD

>

>

> > [ ] newly diagnosed

> >

> > Hi everyone

> >

> > I am newly diagnosed with seronegative RA. Every joint has been

in pain

> > and swollen for 6 months. My husband and kids thought I was a kook

> > until I finally was diagnosed. When is it going to stop? Meds are

> > minocin and 800mg motin frequently. I went from a woman that use

to do

> > everything from building furniture, working 40 hrs, keeping a

house

> > clean and taking care of three kids. 3 dogs, and a husband, to a

> > fragile woman that can barely make dinner. Forget about lifting

> > something, one plus is that the husband does the laundry. Luckily

I

> > work from home and can get up and walk when I need to. Which

seems to

> > help. Any suggestions on how to keep the swelling down? My

ankles, and

> > hands are quite swollen now.

>

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Welcome to the group

I have to agree with Jeanette and . RA is not controlled with

anti-inflamatories alone you need to see a Rhummy about some of the new meds

for the control of RA deformities and pain.

Heidi M

On Feb 2, 2008 9:12 AM, Jeanette <jhkerch@...> wrote:

> Most definately! Seek a rheumatologist, or if you have one get a

> better one! There is no need to suffer from that much pain &

> swelling, much less the frustration from not being able to do it all.

> Like said " it don't cut it! " You need more aggressive treatment!

>

>

> >

> > Welcome!

> >

> > If you don't have a rheumatologist yet, you need one. If you have a

> > rheumatologist, you might need a better one.

> >

> > There are many treatment options. Generally speaking, early and

> aggressive

> > treatment leads to better outcomes.

> >

> > I'm not sure exactly when you were diagnosed or when you will see

> your

> > physician next (I hope very soon), but widespread pain and swelling

> > shouldn't be allowed to continue without stepping up your treatment.

> >

> >

> >

> > Not an MD

> >

> >

> > > [ ] newly diagnosed

> > >

> > > Hi everyone

> > >

> > > I am newly diagnosed with seronegative RA. Every joint has been

> in pain

> > > and swollen for 6 months. My husband and kids thought I was a kook

> > > until I finally was diagnosed. When is it going to stop? Meds are

> > > minocin and 800mg motin frequently. I went from a woman that use

> to do

> > > everything from building furniture, working 40 hrs, keeping a

> house

> > > clean and taking care of three kids. 3 dogs, and a husband, to a

> > > fragile woman that can barely make dinner. Forget about lifting

> > > something, one plus is that the husband does the laundry. Luckily

> I

> > > work from home and can get up and walk when I need to. Which

> seems to

> > > help. Any suggestions on how to keep the swelling down? My

> ankles, and

> > > hands are quite swollen now.

> >

>

>

>

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Cheryl, i was also daignosed around your age i am now in my early 50's.  it is

also in my lungs. i have had to have fusions of the back, i am in constant pain

without my drugs. i bet you have syjorgens syndrome because of the vocal cord

thing.  right now i am own humira and medrol for flares.  i love the medrol i

would be almost normal if my rheumy would let me take it every day.  i have been

seeing a pulmonogist for the lungs he has helped also.  don't wait to try the

biologics.  i waited about 5 years and wish i had started in my early fortys

instead of late fortys.  gotta go today is my rheumy appt.  hugs rita

[ ] Newly diagnosed

Hi i am Cheryl,i am 42 and was just diagnosed with RA,it has affected

my lungs and vocal chords real bad and the pain seems to get

worse,still going thru alot of testing yet but how do you handle the

pain?any help will greatly be appreciated.

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

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I am a 21 years old female and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid

arthritis. I began having mainly knee pain over 6 months ago. It

progressed pretty quickly and the pain make it hard to even walk. I

was hesitant to go in to my doctor, but eventually after my hands,

wrists, and shoulders began paining, and my joints began to swell I

decided it was time. I was than referred to a rheumatologist. I was

than diagnosed. I have started treatment, but feeling overwhelmed. I

am only 21 years old?? I have so many concerns, and do not understand

why this is happening to me when I am so young.

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I am sorry to hear that you have RA at

such an early age. The bright side is that there are many more treatment

options than there were even ten years ago and new ones are being approved each

year. While you have a chronic illness that will likely be with you for

life most people find the right treatment within a year or two to be able to

lead a fairly normal life. Please let us know what treatment you are

getting and how it is working for you. We are all different but someone

here is likely to have had or at least heard of experiences similar to yours.

We would like to help if we can.

I can’t help you with the age thing

because I didn’t get RA till I was 74 and now I am 80. God bless.

From: Rheumatoid Arthritis [mailto:Rheumatoid Arthritis ] On Behalf Of nicomeit

Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2008

6:18 PM

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Subject:

Newly Diagnosed

I am a 21 years old female and was recently diagnosed

with rheumatoid

arthritis. I began having mainly knee pain over 6 months ago. It

progressed pretty quickly and the pain make it hard to even walk. I

was hesitant to go in to my doctor, but eventually after my hands,

wrists, and shoulders began paining, and my joints began to swell I

decided it was time. I was than referred to a rheumatologist. I was

than diagnosed. I have started treatment, but feeling overwhelmed. I

am only 21 years old?? I have so many concerns, and do not understand

why this is happening to me when I am so young.

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u have just reminded me of six years ago .............. when i was forced to the doctor ............... only to discover the same thing (and why me and im to young) it does happen tho. - took LOTS of therapy and anti anxitity pills and just about everything else offered to help RA,, guess what? im worst now then ever,,and my bones all are shifting,,i see it in my hands feet hips as they are all misplaced and weak and my kees and shoulders and spine ..all of it! my point is,,YOU JUST NEVER KNOW with RA--- u never know whats around the corner with it. no one can tell you what will work for you,,really -its very scary,, even when the doctors screw you around and withhold info and act like you are being too much trouble when you hurt and ask for help,,they are mostly

desensitized by all the infulx of patients who are commig up with RA like crazy I THINK ITS IN THE AIR because too many ppl are comming UP WITH RA! i feel pretty bad for all those others w/ ths disease,,its just too painful and a life stealer too! i hate RA and this is what i do to release the negitive.. i BLOG........... check on it . http://ihatera.blogspot.com/ (ra 6 yrs ) no better today then then ,,heehee.go figure-- and they all promised me hope and my lfe back,i tried to work and cannot,,i only see about 7 hours a day,,the i have to sleep or i will get so sick,i dont know how this happened to me,,either,,i want my money back - peace 2 U debi M day then when i was on thopusands of dollars worth of medicane,,its all a sham! nicomeit <nicomeit@...> wrote: I am a 21 years old female and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I began having mainly knee pain over 6 months ago. It progressed pretty quickly and the pain make it hard to even walk. I was hesitant to go in to my doctor, but eventually after my hands, wrists, and shoulders began paining, and my joints began to swell I decided it was time. I was than referred to a rheumatologist. I was than diagnosed. I have started treatment, but feeling overwhelmed. I

am only 21 years old?? I have so many concerns, and do not understand why this is happening to me when I am so young.

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Dear Newly Diagnosed. I am a former support group leader for the arthritis foundation. Today using a biologic at symptom onset means your disease can be very well controlled and you can lead a normal life. Using Remicade in conjunction with Methotrexate will manage your symptoms as they did mine. Pain tends to bring out our hormone response so once under control the fear will subside. Just having a proactive and aggressive attitude is important. Be your own advocate. RA is becoming more common in women in the last decade. It is said that lifestyle stress, genetic predisposition and pregnancy are common triggers. In my case and in most cases I think, there is a gene that lies inside us and turns our immune systems against us no matter what age you are. Our bodies all have DNA and one of the strands that carry our chromosomes has a weakness that will allow our immune system defenses to be compromised. Any connective tissue disorder including RA, Lupus and MS are just three among thousands. You can consider yourself chronically ill since there is no known cure but the quality if your life will not be affected as long as you get proper treatment straight away. Make sure to get plenty of rest, eat a healthy diet and do get chronic management counseling. There are arthritis foundation chapters in every state. Find where yours is and get to a meeting if offered. Do control and manage your RA but dont let it control you. You have the upper hand here and are armed with a wealth of great biologics these days to help you. I would also plan ahead. If you consider pregnancy and do not have children yet, think carefully about this. You will have to be off RA meds while pregnant and its a hard 9 months without it. You may also find a biologic stops working at some point because your body builds up a resistance or gets smart and finds a way around it!! I tell everyone whether it is one year or ten years from now, be sure to sign up for long term disability at work if you have a steady job. A day may come when you will need to apply for disability. You will have to have had the diagnosis for two years in most cases before an award is given but not always. You will have to get a disability lawyer to sue for your award and subsequent benefits each month. You must prove you are completely disabled in that case. That is a long way off but it pays to plan ahead just incase. Remicade is given by infusion over a two or three hour time period. You can also consider rituxan which is a B-Cell blocker as an option though the infusion time is much longer if the remicade stops working which is highly unlikely. Using self injectibles like enbrel or humira are a less convenient option and there have been batch problems related to temperature to compromise its efficacy. Email anytime with questions. www.arthritisfoundation.org for great information. Yours, Deborah RA since 1994.

On Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 10:18 PM, nicomeit <nicomeit@...> wrote:

I am a 21 years old female and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I began having mainly knee pain over 6 months ago. It progressed pretty quickly and the pain make it hard to even walk. I was hesitant to go in to my doctor, but eventually after my hands,

wrists, and shoulders began paining, and my joints began to swell I decided it was time. I was than referred to a rheumatologist. I was than diagnosed. I have started treatment, but feeling overwhelmed. I am only 21 years old?? I have so many concerns, and do not understand

why this is happening to me when I am so young.

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