a little more info on my backround

October 13, 2006

I suppose i should have said in my previous post but didn't want to be

too windy.lol I was a recovering alcoholic and addict before my back

went out. I remember before my first surgery laying in bed in pain

bagging my sister and mom to let me have the pain meds one of the docs

prescribed but they were to scared I would become addicted and made me

wait till the next day to get reassurance from a different doc it was

safe. Then after my fusion, I was only given vicidon for pain. I

remember laying in bed and would all of a sudden get a feeling like my

body was being shocked. when I went for my follow up appt. I was sobbing

in the docs office, she said she was sorry that I had been under

medicated due to the fact I am an addict, she prescribed oxycontin.

Within days if not hours I was crying again but this time because i

wasn't in pain and couldn't understand why they made me suffer for soo

long the way they did. and throughout this whole thing both docs kept

telling me how good I was doing and they understood my fear of becoming

addicted and that they would be there for me. I call now, I can't get

the doc, only the nurse. He says my pain should be gone, and had me

start weaning myself off, I had already brought myself down from 80mgs a

day to 20mgs by myself, but couldn't go without. Since going into detox

scares the hell outta me he decided to try the percacet and I started

out every 6hrs then was to do every 8 then 12 then once a day , I'm

stuck at 6, 7 if I really push it. People keep telling me how strong I

am being and say you can do this you did it before, but the truth is

what I went through before was a cakewalk compared to this. I have no

idea what this pain clinic is about, they started out asking alot of

mental health ?s, it seems like there trying to see if it is all in my

head. I think why couldn't I have kept going the way I was, I was at

least able to do some stuff. By the way, no one has mentioned anything

to me about nerve damage. Guess I have to just wait and see, I'm at

there mercy.

[(:|] pat

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